i'll go, i'll go anyway, they won't refund the ticket
On Thursday I had a GP appt where she decided, due to various symptoms, that I pretty much had PCOS and ordered some lab tests to confirm it, including a transvaginal ultrasound and some blood tests also to check on various levels of hormones/cholesterol/thyroid.
Yesterday I had my transvaginal ultrasound where they confirmed PCOS (subject to the discretion of my doctor).
I had the classic "ring of pearls" sign. The multiple undeveloped follicles on my ovaries show up as dark spots on the ultrasound, ringing my ovary like a "ring of pearls." (Similar to this, but mine weren't as large.)
I also had large volume as measured in mL of my ovaries: apparently normally they're less than 10 mL; mine were 17mL and 13mL.
Those are pretty much definitive signs that I have PCOS.
I also had therapy where my therapist kind of gently kicked my ass about the depressive mood-swings I've been having. She pointed out that I have the skills to manage them-to Distract/Distance, or Communicate, or Examine them in more detail, or to let them go gently by into the stream of thought (my ACT group-therapy introduced me to that idea as a metaphor for letting go of thoughts that hook you).
But I'm not doing it. When I have these strong emotions, I give up and let the storm win without even trying. That seems to be the key, and that's something I can work with, that's something I can change.
I sent a text message to Rob after therapy, telling him I felt recommitted to fighting my depression. I'm not going to let it rule my life. I'm going to manage the fuck out of this thing.
And if my body wants to be fucked up and have PCOS too, you know what, that's not going to get me down either. I'm going to take my meds, I'm going to research the newest and best treatments, and I'm going to fight to feel better, because I fucking deserve it.
Originally posted at Dreamwidth. Comment there (
), or feel free to comment here.
Yesterday I had my transvaginal ultrasound where they confirmed PCOS (subject to the discretion of my doctor).
I had the classic "ring of pearls" sign. The multiple undeveloped follicles on my ovaries show up as dark spots on the ultrasound, ringing my ovary like a "ring of pearls." (Similar to this, but mine weren't as large.)
I also had large volume as measured in mL of my ovaries: apparently normally they're less than 10 mL; mine were 17mL and 13mL.
Those are pretty much definitive signs that I have PCOS.
I also had therapy where my therapist kind of gently kicked my ass about the depressive mood-swings I've been having. She pointed out that I have the skills to manage them-to Distract/Distance, or Communicate, or Examine them in more detail, or to let them go gently by into the stream of thought (my ACT group-therapy introduced me to that idea as a metaphor for letting go of thoughts that hook you).
But I'm not doing it. When I have these strong emotions, I give up and let the storm win without even trying. That seems to be the key, and that's something I can work with, that's something I can change.
I sent a text message to Rob after therapy, telling him I felt recommitted to fighting my depression. I'm not going to let it rule my life. I'm going to manage the fuck out of this thing.
And if my body wants to be fucked up and have PCOS too, you know what, that's not going to get me down either. I'm going to take my meds, I'm going to research the newest and best treatments, and I'm going to fight to feel better, because I fucking deserve it.
Originally posted at Dreamwidth. Comment there (
), or feel free to comment here.