at home alone on a friday

[saveyoursanity]

We are in your car, and I am looking out the window
At the sun. It is
Too bright, too glittering,
   too razor edged
      I catch the sunlight like
   shards of glass sharp to
guard me against the pain and anguish of your words.
I wish you would
tell me you don't believe in him, I beg you
      don't drown in that self, implacable and unassailable
         don't fall into
those brown eyes, but it's too late and you're gone
far away from me, unknowable behind your sunglasses.
            I'm so sorry I feel this way.
Nothing left but apologies for
      undeniable feelings
   and socially inappropriate urges
and I can't imagine this will
   be sustainable, can't envision
   anything but the pain in your eyes
      but your moral superiority is no
      proof against anything, not
even the doubt I once protected you from.

I think you are more fragile
than you believe. And I'm sorry I
   can't protect you anymore,
but I need to protect myself now.
      help myself now. And once I could've said
you are a part of me, but there is not that, not anymore.

and you flip the radio stations, searching for a happy song,
   but all we hear is "best I ever had" "can't go on together"
   and you click it off with an unfulfillable plea from the unseen man, just a voice on the radio:
don't let a good thing die

The sun is bright in my eyes
   and I still sit in the backseat
and I'm sorry.
      Have fun tonight, I will say as
I get out. and thank you for the ride.

it was great.