009 | [Action/Voice]
[ Well.
Talk about your awkward mornings. It's not exactly the best realization to wake up to, the fact that the past week of generally being in love was due to outside influence- that's something that hurts when you know it, digs in and wants to stay there- but Chouji will not let it stop him from being Chouji. Meaning he will get out of bed and ( Read more... )
Talk about your awkward mornings. It's not exactly the best realization to wake up to, the fact that the past week of generally being in love was due to outside influence- that's something that hurts when you know it, digs in and wants to stay there- but Chouji will not let it stop him from being Chouji. Meaning he will get out of bed and ( Read more... )
When Katara answers, her voice is raw as if she'd been crying, and she doesn't bother to up his filter.]
...oh, Chouji. [This sucks so much. She takes a deep breath, the parallel painfully ironic.] ...I guess - the bridge?
[Because she needs to talk to him... and she hopes that he won't say no.]
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Ah. She sounds not quite at her best- which he really can't blame her for. For a really brief second, he'll consider asking if she's sure it's okay, but well. She wouldn't ask if she couldn't handle it.
And he's still not about to say no . ]
I'll be there.
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[She wants to wash her face and have something to drink - her stomach hurts too much for breakfast - and make it seem a little less like she was hurting, if she can.
But about a half hour later, there she'll be there and stop abruptly, painfully short of just running over to him and hugging him, and letting that make it all right.
Because it's not. It's not all right. And it was never really like that with them before. Her voice will still sound a bit hesitant and strained, and she's stopped several awkward feet away.]
Hey.
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...it occurs to him that he has no idea how to handle this, really. If it's even the kind of thing that can be handled. The best he's got is a smile that very likely indicates as much. Still totally going to be trying, though. ]
Hi.
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So... it changed for you too, this morning?
[She can do this, but it hurts and - oh, she's not sure if she wants to hear a yes or a no, because she'd really, really liked being in love with him, and if he still felt the same way...
...she'd have to tell him the truth, because he deserved that.
And she really doesn't want to hurt him. So even though she's feeling so confused about how she feels right now, she really hopes that for him, at least, it's a clear-cut change.]
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People sometimes told him he was too optimistic. ]
...yeah, I think so.
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Okay.
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When I woke up this morning, I remembered... they'd done the same thing last year. If you look in the journals, you'll see, people were even talking about it. They just made us all forget.
[A pause, and then - something else freely offered, evidence, perhaps, that she is not trying to go back to the level of trust they had before this.]
It was my first experiment.
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He's fine with waiting; the least he can do is try to make sure Katara's as comfortable as she can be after all that. ]
Hard to think of a rougher way to get introduced to Luceti.
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The guy I was with... [Why is saying this suddenly so much harder than she thought? It's not like there was any reason this would upset Chouji... right?] ...I really hated him at the time. You remember, I told you about him - Zuko? We were from different points in our world's timeline, and even though he'd done a lot to make up for what he did in the past... I hadn't experienced it yet.
[Babbling, Katara. Stop babbling. Get to the point.] Anyway, it... ended really badly. When I woke up, I was so upset, I had to run away, and when I came back to face him - he was gone.
[She takes another step towards him.] So I guess what I'm trying to say is - this has already been way better than last time. You're a really amazing guy, Chouji. If this had to happen with anyone, I'm glad it was with you.
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Chouji listens through the rest of this so-called babbling (which, for the record, he doesn't consider babbling; he's teammates with Ino and doesn't consider anything she talks about to be babbling. It takes a lot to get to that point), and when it reaches an end he most definitely has a smile to offer. ]
I'm glad it was with you, too. [ Because not everyone could be as nice about this as Katara, he knows that much. ]
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I'm not sorry about anything that I said or anything that we did [the blush flares a bit hotter there, but she doesn't look away.] I'm glad that we had a chance to get to know each other better. I'm just sorry that it wasn't real.
[...and she's sorry that her feelings are still a little mixed up and raw, and that what she has to say next is going to suck.]
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It's not to say he had any lies lined up or anything- Chouji just came to this particular meeting prepared to listen and leave when she was finished. No need for anyone to see anyone hurting, no need for him to talk and maybe accidentally mess everything up while it's already looking kind of messed up. But, aah. That's not the same as being straightforward. Which she deserves. ]
Well, at least getting to know each other was real. I'm really glad for that, too, because I think you're a great person to know. [ Whether it's in a romantic sense or platonic, like it is right now. ] ... I know we don't feel the same way today that we did yesterday, but that doesn't mean that I'm not still Chouji and you're not still Katara. And I hope that's enough to mean we can still be friends.
[ He really, really hopes. She's one of the nicest people he's met since he got here (and no matter how it turns out, he'd have regretted not saying that much). ]
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It's just - the thing is... [My heart feels empty without you in it.] I'm all mixed up. I don't know what I feel anymore. I don't know if it's me or if it's leftover from the experiment or if it's just... [oh the awkward painful and vulnerable admission] that it showed me the possibility, but... I think we - I - need some space. I don't want to take advantage of your friendship [lean on you like I would have when we were together] and I don't want to try to feel any more or any less than what I do feel.
But I think in order to sort that out, I'll need time. [She shakes her head, looks away.] A few weeks, maybe.
[...yeah, that hurt exactly as much as she thought it would. Ow.]
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[ Ah.
He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought she'd ask for that- or if he said that it didn't make sense, since it really does. This is where he is careful to keep his expression more or less the same (at the very least, doesn't let it fall) because as much as it stings on his part, it has to be worse for the person saying it. ]
I can understand that. [ He considers putting a hand on her shoulder, but there's that "don't accidentally screw up" thing again and risks do not become him. ] Take as long as you need, okay?
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[And then... that's it? She's just supposed to walk away now and let that be - it?]
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