Married Life...
Something I forgot about...
My friends have a standing Thursday-night-out... I wasn't included on it... I'm feeling so out of touch and left-out. Now that I'm in a full time relationship, it's hard to stay in touch with my friends. So many of them are saying things like "we never see you anymore", and party plans and such that people are doing and having are not including me anymore. Being coupled is wonderful and I wouldn't change it for the world, I love Barry... I wonder... will my friends forget me? will I no longer need them? were they only my friends because I didn't have anyone to be with? It's all very strange, and I have so many different answers to those questions in my head. My brain feels kind of like my garage right now -- so full of crap it's completely unusable and nothing that's in it has a place to be... it's a big change, a big learning curve, a big thing that's looming over me... I don't know who or what I am really and I'm just living instinctively and reactively right now. I need to be more proactive instead of reactive... but I can't because it's not "my life" anymore... it's "our life" and I don't know how to be an "our" AND be proactive.
...hmmmm... I need to do this journaling more often... it's like unpacking the boxes in my brain a little.
My friends have a standing Thursday-night-out... I wasn't included on it... I'm feeling so out of touch and left-out. Now that I'm in a full time relationship, it's hard to stay in touch with my friends. So many of them are saying things like "we never see you anymore", and party plans and such that people are doing and having are not including me anymore. Being coupled is wonderful and I wouldn't change it for the world, I love Barry... I wonder... will my friends forget me? will I no longer need them? were they only my friends because I didn't have anyone to be with? It's all very strange, and I have so many different answers to those questions in my head. My brain feels kind of like my garage right now -- so full of crap it's completely unusable and nothing that's in it has a place to be... it's a big change, a big learning curve, a big thing that's looming over me... I don't know who or what I am really and I'm just living instinctively and reactively right now. I need to be more proactive instead of reactive... but I can't because it's not "my life" anymore... it's "our life" and I don't know how to be an "our" AND be proactive.
...hmmmm... I need to do this journaling more often... it's like unpacking the boxes in my brain a little.