the bottom...
Last week i felt like i had hit the bottom, and that might have been one of the best feelings i have ever had. it made me come to realize what i need to do with my life to improve it. I was drained emotionally and so ill that i couldn't eat. i was frustrated with my job, my living space, my hobbies, my habits, my relationships. it all collapsed upon me and now i feel so much stronger because of it.
I' have lived in a hole for a few years now and i hadn't put in the effort that i needed to dig my way out. I've felt doomed. Felt like since i blew my college education slacking off and getting fucked up with friends and have waited tables since., that there was nothing for me to do about my current situation. But it was almost like an excuse to be lazy. An excuse for me to tell myself that there wasn't much out there for me to do or to try for.
Now i see that was bullshit. I know that each day i need to try and make small steps to better myself. The last thing i want to do is get old, wallowing in self-pity. This is a time for me to change. A time for me to break out of the cocoon i have been resting in and fly out into the world.
I feel no one respects me . I want respect. And i want to earn it. i am going to quit living in the shadows and begin living in the light. i know what is important to me and where i want to go , and i am on the path to go there.
I' have lived in a hole for a few years now and i hadn't put in the effort that i needed to dig my way out. I've felt doomed. Felt like since i blew my college education slacking off and getting fucked up with friends and have waited tables since., that there was nothing for me to do about my current situation. But it was almost like an excuse to be lazy. An excuse for me to tell myself that there wasn't much out there for me to do or to try for.
Now i see that was bullshit. I know that each day i need to try and make small steps to better myself. The last thing i want to do is get old, wallowing in self-pity. This is a time for me to change. A time for me to break out of the cocoon i have been resting in and fly out into the world.
I feel no one respects me . I want respect. And i want to earn it. i am going to quit living in the shadows and begin living in the light. i know what is important to me and where i want to go , and i am on the path to go there.