Why Oh Why, I am like this?!
I have been promising myself for more than two weeks now that I will wake up early and go for a run every morning. I even set my alarm for earlier time but when it rings I just do not feel like waking up at that time. It feels like I have just fallen asleep and I need to sleep more, take some rest. Why do I do this I have no idea, and the whole day I feel tired and shit. I have to start exercising and get energy.
Watched Oscar today, I like Hugh Jackman's musicals and award ceremony in general, but I found it too long. Also loved so many Indians got the recognition from the Academy. But I hope they just recognize the movies based in India but also Indian movies. I don't know why they just don't appreciate the world of colourful cinema waiting to be discovered. Indian movies are awesome.
I went for my first lab meeting today and boy I totally fucked it over there. I don't know what happens to me when I am thrown into a social situation where I have to talk to a large groups of people. I am shy and introvert in nature and hate, totally hate attention, but this is just pathetic.
The head of labs asked people who are in the meeting for the first time to introduce themselves to everyone and I just totally froze. It was total shit. I was shivering inside and just dreading the thought that if someone notices that it is my first meeting and ask me to introduce myself, I will just make a fool of myself. I find it very difficult talking infront of strangers and I shake and stutter a lot and I even speak so fast that no one can understand me. I am totally pathetic sorry ass.
I can talk non-stop among my friends and family, I can talk about anything, I can fight, make jokes and just be myself. But (oh, how I hate this but) among strangers, I am totally shut down. I hate myself like this. I don't want to be like this.
I need to break free of this shyness of mine. I need to be able to talk with people, with strangers. I don't know what to do, how to get better and solve my awful problem. I have to find a way to overcome this disability of mine. I will be better at it.
Dear My shy side,
Why are you so scared, why do you have so low self confidence. Be strong and talk among people. Don't be afraid, no one is going to hurt you. You just have to practice, a lot. With time you will get better at it. Don't get stage fright or hate the attention, just be yourself among other strangers or people around you.
You are beautiful, you are special and most of all you are smart and interesting. You have something to offer and don't be scared to speak your mind. People will appreciate you.
All the best and just be yourself.
Always right beside you.
Moi
Yes, SPEAK YOUR MIND
Watched Oscar today, I like Hugh Jackman's musicals and award ceremony in general, but I found it too long. Also loved so many Indians got the recognition from the Academy. But I hope they just recognize the movies based in India but also Indian movies. I don't know why they just don't appreciate the world of colourful cinema waiting to be discovered. Indian movies are awesome.
I went for my first lab meeting today and boy I totally fucked it over there. I don't know what happens to me when I am thrown into a social situation where I have to talk to a large groups of people. I am shy and introvert in nature and hate, totally hate attention, but this is just pathetic.
The head of labs asked people who are in the meeting for the first time to introduce themselves to everyone and I just totally froze. It was total shit. I was shivering inside and just dreading the thought that if someone notices that it is my first meeting and ask me to introduce myself, I will just make a fool of myself. I find it very difficult talking infront of strangers and I shake and stutter a lot and I even speak so fast that no one can understand me. I am totally pathetic sorry ass.
I can talk non-stop among my friends and family, I can talk about anything, I can fight, make jokes and just be myself. But (oh, how I hate this but) among strangers, I am totally shut down. I hate myself like this. I don't want to be like this.
I need to break free of this shyness of mine. I need to be able to talk with people, with strangers. I don't know what to do, how to get better and solve my awful problem. I have to find a way to overcome this disability of mine. I will be better at it.
Dear My shy side,
Why are you so scared, why do you have so low self confidence. Be strong and talk among people. Don't be afraid, no one is going to hurt you. You just have to practice, a lot. With time you will get better at it. Don't get stage fright or hate the attention, just be yourself among other strangers or people around you.
You are beautiful, you are special and most of all you are smart and interesting. You have something to offer and don't be scared to speak your mind. People will appreciate you.
All the best and just be yourself.
Always right beside you.
Moi
Yes, SPEAK YOUR MIND