(no subject)
It's been a while, I suppose. Time to say hello again.
Title: Four
Author: SsssSSSssSSSss
Fandom: Good Omens/Harry Potter
People: Myself and Lady Black
Rating: Unfortunately, not up to my usual standard I'm afraid. Pardons and apologies.
Sirius bit his lip; he looked left, then right. Then at his watch. Then at the pub across the street. Then at his shoes, which he'd borrowed from Remus so as not to be late for his lunch date.
"You look quite fidgety when you're awaiting my arrival," said Crowley, sauntering closer in the vaguest manner possible.
"Some bloody wench insisted I give her my autograph," grumbled Sirius, grabbing him by the arm and tugging him along. "Kept insisting I was stubby."
"...Stubby, you mean?" asked Crowley, thinking about the books he'd brushed up on so as to gain a better understanding of his favoured compatriot.
"Blimey," said Sirius, stopping suddenly. "That's impressive! How d'you capitalise words like that when you're speaking?"
"It's a Gift, I expect," Crowley answerd dryly. "One of those Hell things, you know."
"Ah, I see."
"Did you not take it upon yourself to flash this young woman and assure her that you were not stubby?" asked Crowley as they resumed walking. "Or rather - what's the term for it? Oh yes. Did you not assure her that you were, in fact, packing?"
Sirius elbowed him playfully, smirking at the bemused expression on Crowley's face at having his suit ruffled in the process. "Wouldn't save that treat for just anyone," he answered with a wink.
"Afraid Remus will snap it off otherwise?"
"Bloody terrified."
They entered the shop without much fanfare, Crowley leading the way. He stopped in front of a rack of floral summery dresses. "Now, Missus Black," he said carefully, "you'll want to chose the floral pattern most matching your skin tone. Perhaps for you, a light lavender will do."
"...You're taking me sodding dress shopping?" Sirius blurted out, not caring about the ten faces that swiveled to stare at him in response. "I thought we were going for pints!"
"Remus suggested it, my lady dearest," said Crowley, pulling a particularly hideous green-and-orange design and thrusting it at Sirius while cocking his head to one side. "Ah, this clashes wonderfully. I'll inquire as to the price post haste."
"I'm not wearing this!" said Sirius, throwing it back at him.
Crowley caught the material easily, draping it over one arm as he led Sirius towards the register. "Now, now - do calm down," he said, "or there'll be no matching undergarments."
"BLOODY HELL, IF YOU THINK THAT I AM WEARING THAT HIDEOUS -"
"Hello," said Crowley suddenly, forcing Sirius quiet by clapping his hand over Sirius's mouth, which was still protesting as best it could. He held up something else. "What do you think about this?"
Sirius bit Crowley's hand, grabbing the offensive garment and quietly banishing it with a muttered spell - well ignoring Crowley's "they'll still make you pay for that, Sirius."
"This...hm."
"Yes?"
"This..."
"Yes?"
"...well...this..."
Crowley snatched it back. "I'm afraid your eloquence is too much for me to handle today," he interrupted. "I see you prefer the black silk negligee to the spectacularly awful house dress. Pity, as I would have liked to vaccuuming in the other (for my own entertainment, you understand), but I suppose I'll settle for providing you with this rather attractive feminine item instead."
Sirius clapped him on the back. "You're a spiffing excellent mate, Crowley."
"I'm sure."
As they walked out of the store, Sirius threw one arm around Crowley's neck. "If you're good, might let you watch me try it on," he said playfully.
"I'm never good," said Crowley seriously. "Goes against my Nature."
"'Good' can have several meanings, my demonic chum," said Sirius, giving an unexpected slap to Crowley's rear.
"In that casssssssssse," hissed Crowley against Sirius' ear, "I will be guaranteed a persssssssssssonal show, Missssussssss Black."
"That's the spirit!" said Sirius, tugging Crowley along into the pub he'd been eying earlier. "Now let's get sodding drunk and make exaggerated sexual innuendo at each other."
"Sssssssssssounds like my kind of Sssssssssunday."
Title: Four
Author: SsssSSSssSSSss
Fandom: Good Omens/Harry Potter
People: Myself and Lady Black
Rating: Unfortunately, not up to my usual standard I'm afraid. Pardons and apologies.
Sirius bit his lip; he looked left, then right. Then at his watch. Then at the pub across the street. Then at his shoes, which he'd borrowed from Remus so as not to be late for his lunch date.
"You look quite fidgety when you're awaiting my arrival," said Crowley, sauntering closer in the vaguest manner possible.
"Some bloody wench insisted I give her my autograph," grumbled Sirius, grabbing him by the arm and tugging him along. "Kept insisting I was stubby."
"...Stubby, you mean?" asked Crowley, thinking about the books he'd brushed up on so as to gain a better understanding of his favoured compatriot.
"Blimey," said Sirius, stopping suddenly. "That's impressive! How d'you capitalise words like that when you're speaking?"
"It's a Gift, I expect," Crowley answerd dryly. "One of those Hell things, you know."
"Ah, I see."
"Did you not take it upon yourself to flash this young woman and assure her that you were not stubby?" asked Crowley as they resumed walking. "Or rather - what's the term for it? Oh yes. Did you not assure her that you were, in fact, packing?"
Sirius elbowed him playfully, smirking at the bemused expression on Crowley's face at having his suit ruffled in the process. "Wouldn't save that treat for just anyone," he answered with a wink.
"Afraid Remus will snap it off otherwise?"
"Bloody terrified."
They entered the shop without much fanfare, Crowley leading the way. He stopped in front of a rack of floral summery dresses. "Now, Missus Black," he said carefully, "you'll want to chose the floral pattern most matching your skin tone. Perhaps for you, a light lavender will do."
"...You're taking me sodding dress shopping?" Sirius blurted out, not caring about the ten faces that swiveled to stare at him in response. "I thought we were going for pints!"
"Remus suggested it, my lady dearest," said Crowley, pulling a particularly hideous green-and-orange design and thrusting it at Sirius while cocking his head to one side. "Ah, this clashes wonderfully. I'll inquire as to the price post haste."
"I'm not wearing this!" said Sirius, throwing it back at him.
Crowley caught the material easily, draping it over one arm as he led Sirius towards the register. "Now, now - do calm down," he said, "or there'll be no matching undergarments."
"BLOODY HELL, IF YOU THINK THAT I AM WEARING THAT HIDEOUS -"
"Hello," said Crowley suddenly, forcing Sirius quiet by clapping his hand over Sirius's mouth, which was still protesting as best it could. He held up something else. "What do you think about this?"
Sirius bit Crowley's hand, grabbing the offensive garment and quietly banishing it with a muttered spell - well ignoring Crowley's "they'll still make you pay for that, Sirius."
"This...hm."
"Yes?"
"This..."
"Yes?"
"...well...this..."
Crowley snatched it back. "I'm afraid your eloquence is too much for me to handle today," he interrupted. "I see you prefer the black silk negligee to the spectacularly awful house dress. Pity, as I would have liked to vaccuuming in the other (for my own entertainment, you understand), but I suppose I'll settle for providing you with this rather attractive feminine item instead."
Sirius clapped him on the back. "You're a spiffing excellent mate, Crowley."
"I'm sure."
As they walked out of the store, Sirius threw one arm around Crowley's neck. "If you're good, might let you watch me try it on," he said playfully.
"I'm never good," said Crowley seriously. "Goes against my Nature."
"'Good' can have several meanings, my demonic chum," said Sirius, giving an unexpected slap to Crowley's rear.
"In that casssssssssse," hissed Crowley against Sirius' ear, "I will be guaranteed a persssssssssssonal show, Missssussssss Black."
"That's the spirit!" said Sirius, tugging Crowley along into the pub he'd been eying earlier. "Now let's get sodding drunk and make exaggerated sexual innuendo at each other."
"Sssssssssssounds like my kind of Sssssssssunday."