TMI Post
Well, I'm tired.
My husband can try the patience of a saint. *sigh* He keeps trying to tell me the military way to plan the Christmas party that I'm in charge of. It's coming soon, but I also have other things on my plate and one of my volunteers resigned and hasn't returned the door prizes that she was holding for us. Too much stress.
I went to the doctor for my preconception appt. and she had the biopsies from all of my surgeries. Basically she didn't like what she saw so now I'm on the fast track to becoming pregnant. I'm not sure how I feel about that really. She was ready to refer me to a fertility clinic off the bat. Next week I have to have a procedure to see if the one tube I have is open. After that we have six months to try on our own but I have to be on Clomid and that will increase my chances for twins. I guess I knew it'd be harder for me, but no one had ever said it might be like this. I also thought I'd have more control over the trying part, but after this one procedure my fertility is supposed to increase for 3 months so I feel like my clock is ticking. Originally I was going to wait til January to try. Of course, now it's clear that becoming pregnant will be somewhat miraculous so I am hoping we get lucky.
I don't think stress is good for trying to get pregnant. My hubby is supportive, but I really feel more like it's all on me. I really envy my sister in law. It just happened for them. I worry about how I will feel in six months, if I'm not pregnant. It might be hard with them having a new baby. I really wanted to wait until after my nephew was born to really try. I wanted to enjoy being an aunt some first, but my doctor seems to think sooner rather than later. It's upsetting to feel like your plans and your body are being hijacked, but I know if I do have a baby that I won't have any regrets. It's just worrisome if I can't.
I feel pretty alone on the issue. I also have other things that must be done and that overlap this.
I have to plan and execute this big unit Christmas party. I believe that my team can do it, but my husband is completely causing me stress over it. It's related to his job and he's the boss of his guys, but I'm in charge of this VOLUNTEER organization and I answer to the other volunteers - not him. It causes some nice fights. I also have to plan my sister in laws baby shower and I'm trying to work some temp jobs. I also need to lose weight some before I start trying to get pregnant. All of the stress is moving me into a depression. I can't really lean on my husband because he has a ton on his plate too. Right now he's in the middle of a 21 day work phase plus he's going to school. However, he also is in the grips of an office war with the husband of the one close friend I have here. I'm even pet sitting her animals this week. I hope our husbands' professional issues don't cost me her friendship. It's a worry I don't need because I'm already alone so much as it is.
I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew and I just want a hug.
Plus side: I went to a conference this week and the woman in charge bears an uncanny resemblance to Haruka. I tend to stare at her a lot. She's shorter than Haruka I think, but she looks like a runner and she has short blondish hair and she dresses pretty masculine. It was really entertaining.
My husband can try the patience of a saint. *sigh* He keeps trying to tell me the military way to plan the Christmas party that I'm in charge of. It's coming soon, but I also have other things on my plate and one of my volunteers resigned and hasn't returned the door prizes that she was holding for us. Too much stress.
I went to the doctor for my preconception appt. and she had the biopsies from all of my surgeries. Basically she didn't like what she saw so now I'm on the fast track to becoming pregnant. I'm not sure how I feel about that really. She was ready to refer me to a fertility clinic off the bat. Next week I have to have a procedure to see if the one tube I have is open. After that we have six months to try on our own but I have to be on Clomid and that will increase my chances for twins. I guess I knew it'd be harder for me, but no one had ever said it might be like this. I also thought I'd have more control over the trying part, but after this one procedure my fertility is supposed to increase for 3 months so I feel like my clock is ticking. Originally I was going to wait til January to try. Of course, now it's clear that becoming pregnant will be somewhat miraculous so I am hoping we get lucky.
I don't think stress is good for trying to get pregnant. My hubby is supportive, but I really feel more like it's all on me. I really envy my sister in law. It just happened for them. I worry about how I will feel in six months, if I'm not pregnant. It might be hard with them having a new baby. I really wanted to wait until after my nephew was born to really try. I wanted to enjoy being an aunt some first, but my doctor seems to think sooner rather than later. It's upsetting to feel like your plans and your body are being hijacked, but I know if I do have a baby that I won't have any regrets. It's just worrisome if I can't.
I feel pretty alone on the issue. I also have other things that must be done and that overlap this.
I have to plan and execute this big unit Christmas party. I believe that my team can do it, but my husband is completely causing me stress over it. It's related to his job and he's the boss of his guys, but I'm in charge of this VOLUNTEER organization and I answer to the other volunteers - not him. It causes some nice fights. I also have to plan my sister in laws baby shower and I'm trying to work some temp jobs. I also need to lose weight some before I start trying to get pregnant. All of the stress is moving me into a depression. I can't really lean on my husband because he has a ton on his plate too. Right now he's in the middle of a 21 day work phase plus he's going to school. However, he also is in the grips of an office war with the husband of the one close friend I have here. I'm even pet sitting her animals this week. I hope our husbands' professional issues don't cost me her friendship. It's a worry I don't need because I'm already alone so much as it is.
I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew and I just want a hug.
Plus side: I went to a conference this week and the woman in charge bears an uncanny resemblance to Haruka. I tend to stare at her a lot. She's shorter than Haruka I think, but she looks like a runner and she has short blondish hair and she dresses pretty masculine. It was really entertaining.