a rant.
There are very few things I can imagine a friend saying to me that would actually offend me. I mean, there are plenty of things people could do, but i would think that if we've gotten far enough along to "friends," things would at least be said in a friendly way and therefore we could talk about it or something and I wouldn't end up being mad. So, my sense of what might be offensive or inappropriate to other people is a little bit... underdeveloped. Especially when I'm drunk and/or hopped up on sugar.
It's kind of a recurring problem, then, that eventually I get worked up and that sense is out on a coffee break and I say something completely inappropriate. Usually later on I think back on it and vaguely recognize that I probably shouldn't have said it, but no one's mentioned anything so I forget about the whole incident. Several months go by in which that friend pulls away and I chalk it up to them being busy/preoccupied/whatever, and then eventually I start to wonder if they're actually mad at me, and I might wonder if it's connected to that incident, but usually by that point it's so long ago that it doesn't really make sense to be like, "hey, remember 6 months ago when we were still hanging out? I'm sorry about saying dumb things." So by that point, I've pretty much lost a friend and I'm only just catching up to the fact that they're mad at me at all.
(I guess this also frustrates me a lot because most of the time when I'm mad at someone, I tell them. And/or, um, threaten to throw wine in their face. And then we talk about it, or yell about it, and then either things are okay or they aren't, and we're friends or we aren't. I don't get the in-between stuff, where maybe one person still thinks you're friends and the other one hates their guts or something. I think unfriending (online and off-) should work the same way as facebook/myspace friending, where you have to get the other person to agree. I think it would cause a lot less drama.)
So, um, you remaining readers who I haven't pissed off yet (i think...): I would urge you to tell me when I do something that pisses you off. I promise I don't mean it and will probably apologize profusely and I still want to be your friend.
It's kind of a recurring problem, then, that eventually I get worked up and that sense is out on a coffee break and I say something completely inappropriate. Usually later on I think back on it and vaguely recognize that I probably shouldn't have said it, but no one's mentioned anything so I forget about the whole incident. Several months go by in which that friend pulls away and I chalk it up to them being busy/preoccupied/whatever, and then eventually I start to wonder if they're actually mad at me, and I might wonder if it's connected to that incident, but usually by that point it's so long ago that it doesn't really make sense to be like, "hey, remember 6 months ago when we were still hanging out? I'm sorry about saying dumb things." So by that point, I've pretty much lost a friend and I'm only just catching up to the fact that they're mad at me at all.
(I guess this also frustrates me a lot because most of the time when I'm mad at someone, I tell them. And/or, um, threaten to throw wine in their face. And then we talk about it, or yell about it, and then either things are okay or they aren't, and we're friends or we aren't. I don't get the in-between stuff, where maybe one person still thinks you're friends and the other one hates their guts or something. I think unfriending (online and off-) should work the same way as facebook/myspace friending, where you have to get the other person to agree. I think it would cause a lot less drama.)
So, um, you remaining readers who I haven't pissed off yet (i think...): I would urge you to tell me when I do something that pisses you off. I promise I don't mean it and will probably apologize profusely and I still want to be your friend.