Latest drama in the Fleming household...
I wasn't planning on coming online tonight.
I was gonna curl up on the sofa... maybe sleep a little.
Did I get to do this?
Did I get CLOSE to doing this?
No.
Not a chance.
My father, who is back to being drunk nearly every night of the week yet has no alcohol in sight, decided to choose tonight to get drunk.
I get back from the doctors, he's on the phone to his workmate, who he'd already been on the phone to for over an hour mind you..
This is fine.
Until he takes the piss by still being on it half an hour after I get back and my mum's wanting to put their tea on.
And then the ruptions begin.
"You haven't even asked Sophie how she got on"
(in all fairness he hadn't. also in all fairness, i didn't really care...)
that's all it took for the slamming of any object in sight to begin and then came the by now expected line
"RIGHT I'M OFF TO PACK MA FUCKIN BAG"
So... this cues more shouting from my mum, some stupid comments from Steph before she carries on with her game, and me... I just nibble a bit more of my dinner... until I realise the tears are rolling down my cheeks.
This... this right here is the one reason I NEED to get into uni.
This is my incentive.
I have nowhere else to go when this happens.
I can't set up residence at any of your guys for more than a couple of days and to be honest I need more time away from this house than that.
I can't stay at Dan's for more than a couple of nights even though his mum's made it clear i'm more than welcome to go round more often.
It makes getting to college and work too awkward.
I can't stand much more of it, i seriously can't.
It didn't help tonight knowing I'm too ill to leave the house and toddle off for a walk.
It upsets me so much seeing this pathetic vicious circle of my dad drinking, my mum flipping out about him drinking, big argument... which leads my dad to drink more.
And so it goes on...
I like a drink.
But I will NEVER let myself become like him.
And I know I'll never be a perfect person, no-one can claim that... but if I ever become like my mother, I will shoot myself in the head.
I'll never understand how it's possible to love people and yet manage to so totally hate them at the same time.
I was gonna curl up on the sofa... maybe sleep a little.
Did I get to do this?
Did I get CLOSE to doing this?
No.
Not a chance.
My father, who is back to being drunk nearly every night of the week yet has no alcohol in sight, decided to choose tonight to get drunk.
I get back from the doctors, he's on the phone to his workmate, who he'd already been on the phone to for over an hour mind you..
This is fine.
Until he takes the piss by still being on it half an hour after I get back and my mum's wanting to put their tea on.
And then the ruptions begin.
"You haven't even asked Sophie how she got on"
(in all fairness he hadn't. also in all fairness, i didn't really care...)
that's all it took for the slamming of any object in sight to begin and then came the by now expected line
"RIGHT I'M OFF TO PACK MA FUCKIN BAG"
So... this cues more shouting from my mum, some stupid comments from Steph before she carries on with her game, and me... I just nibble a bit more of my dinner... until I realise the tears are rolling down my cheeks.
This... this right here is the one reason I NEED to get into uni.
This is my incentive.
I have nowhere else to go when this happens.
I can't set up residence at any of your guys for more than a couple of days and to be honest I need more time away from this house than that.
I can't stay at Dan's for more than a couple of nights even though his mum's made it clear i'm more than welcome to go round more often.
It makes getting to college and work too awkward.
I can't stand much more of it, i seriously can't.
It didn't help tonight knowing I'm too ill to leave the house and toddle off for a walk.
It upsets me so much seeing this pathetic vicious circle of my dad drinking, my mum flipping out about him drinking, big argument... which leads my dad to drink more.
And so it goes on...
I like a drink.
But I will NEVER let myself become like him.
And I know I'll never be a perfect person, no-one can claim that... but if I ever become like my mother, I will shoot myself in the head.
I'll never understand how it's possible to love people and yet manage to so totally hate them at the same time.