update
so me and shawn are back together again!!! well working on doing things right this time. we accomplished a lot day before yesterday... for those of you who know us, and know how much and when we argued... we made it not only in the truck together for more than 5 minutes, but at 2 different stores and on a time limit with not one argument. and we even spent all night putting up the x-mas decorations with no fight, and he listened to my ideas... they worked. yesterday we were both very strange acting... turns out there was an "epiphany" between us. he was irritated at his mom ,i feel that orrotation and automatically become defensive... usually i'm the cause of it... but because i knew i wasn't the cause i tried to hide the defensiveness... didn't work too well. my defensiveness caused him to become anxious... thinking something was wrong all night. so we're sitting in the tub, and somehow we figured this all out. oh it was a wonderful realization. we solved a problem without any yelling or crying or anything. just talking. everything is going so well. i just hope it stays this way. well my dinner is almost ready, i have him cooking me eggs and ham.