"Well, Star Spangle My Banner!"
Day 01 - Your favorite song
Day 02 - A song that makes you happy
Day 03 - A song that makes you sad
Day 04 - A song that reminds you of someone
Day 05 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 06 - A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 07 - A song that you can dance to
Day 08 - A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 09 - A song from your favourite band
Day 10 - A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 11 - A song that describes you
Day 12 - A song from your favourite album
Day 13 - A song that you listen to when you're angry
Day 14 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 15 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad
(This should be for the 22nd. I'll do the one for the 23rd/today later.)
What nice timing for this one. *sigh* "I Should Fly" by Vermillion Lies is a runner-up.
So. Let's talk about how there's finally chocolate in the house, and how I'm on my way to eating enough of it to knock a skinny former cancer patient to sleep. I've been craving chocolate like crazy, so I'm glad my mom picked up the cache. I'm also watching Deadliest Warrior at the moment. It's CIA vs. KGB. Sadly, the episode does not have this song playing in it.
I'm not happy right now. I haven't been over the last few days. At the most, I've been content or amused, but lately I've just been feeling so all over the place that I can't even describe it properly. I feel aimless, I'm frustrated, I can't focus on any one thing for very long, I feel overwhelmed and at the same time I feel like I'm not doing enough. And lately there's been all this talk about independence; about me wanting to be independent and about how my parents really do want me to be independent. I'm getting fucking sick of hearing the word "independent" in any form. Lately that word just feels hollow or bound up in so much red tape. It just feels kind of like a joke I'm not getting.
I also had a dream last night that really troubled me. It's left me thinking about how I'm constantly straddling between not wanting special treatment but occasionally needing it to be on the level with other people. In the dream, I got really mad because they had a group of us evacuate from a dorm into a hotel, but they didn't consider whether the hotel room was going to be accessible for me or not--and further, they didn't seem to really care. When I tried to explain the situation, the guy who seemed to be in an authority position seemed like he didn't want to listen to me, which just made me madder and more frustrated.
(...aw man. The KGB lost. D:< But next week it's VLAD THE IMPALER VS SUN TZU. Holy shit, you guys. I thought the KGB vs. CIA was going to be the awesome high point of the season. And then they set up Vlad the Fucking Impaler and Sun "Art of War" Tzu. Badass.)
I also really, really, really want to escape. I need to get out of here. Out of Texas. Every year, I feel it. Last year I even almost got to do so, and then everything went to shit. (And while, reasonably, it would have been a dick move to continue on the trip in the wake of the shit that went down last year, I still can't help feeling like I was robbed somehow.) Now I actually have the time to plan it, and I still feel so very limited... I have to wait on someone's word about a volunteer/internship opportunity. I have to decide whether or not I want to be completely independent or rely on someone more than I'd care to. I have to make sure I can afford it. I have to worry about loans that are slowly nearing the end of their grace period.
(And an episode of The History of Sex and a shower later, I'm still writing this blog that I started after the first segment of Deadliest Warrior WTF. At least my hair is finally clean. I caught a look of myself in the mirror as I got dressed, though. I look really exhausted.)
On top of that, I haven't really been able to write anything I like--or, when I write, I can't somehow finish it. I have all these ideas, and I can't get them out because I can't bring myself to focus long enough to just write and not worry about whether or not it's good. It's left me wondering what the hell happened to all my drive. I used to be able to write for hours, focused on nothing but what I was working on. What kind of writer am I, that I can't finish anything?
And I once again feel like I can't really talk about it to anybody because a) I don't feel like they're really hearing me or they feel like I'm asking them for a solution (like my parents) or b) I'm left feeling like...seriously, what right do I have to be feeling like this when other people are dealing worse than me? It just seems so trivial and stupid that I'm still feeling like this. I shouldn't be having a crying fit/wanting to have a crying fit over every stupid thing, like yesterday or the day before yesterday. But what the fuck do I know?
ETA: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/storygen.php
"We say 'story generator', but it should probably be 'story idea generator'. These elements from the trope indexes should spark an idea or two."
Just when I think TV Tropes can't get more useful...
Day 16 - A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 17 - A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 18 - A song that makes you laugh
Day 02 - A song that makes you happy
Day 03 - A song that makes you sad
Day 04 - A song that reminds you of someone
Day 05 - A song that reminds of you of somewhere
Day 06 - A song that reminds you of a certain event
Day 07 - A song that you can dance to
Day 08 - A song that makes you fall asleep
Day 09 - A song from your favourite band
Day 10 - A song that no one would expect you to love
Day 11 - A song that describes you
Day 12 - A song from your favourite album
Day 13 - A song that you listen to when you're angry
Day 14 - A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Day 15 - A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Click to view(This should be for the 22nd. I'll do the one for the 23rd/today later.)
What nice timing for this one. *sigh* "I Should Fly" by Vermillion Lies is a runner-up.
So. Let's talk about how there's finally chocolate in the house, and how I'm on my way to eating enough of it to knock a skinny former cancer patient to sleep. I've been craving chocolate like crazy, so I'm glad my mom picked up the cache. I'm also watching Deadliest Warrior at the moment. It's CIA vs. KGB. Sadly, the episode does not have this song playing in it.
I'm not happy right now. I haven't been over the last few days. At the most, I've been content or amused, but lately I've just been feeling so all over the place that I can't even describe it properly. I feel aimless, I'm frustrated, I can't focus on any one thing for very long, I feel overwhelmed and at the same time I feel like I'm not doing enough. And lately there's been all this talk about independence; about me wanting to be independent and about how my parents really do want me to be independent. I'm getting fucking sick of hearing the word "independent" in any form. Lately that word just feels hollow or bound up in so much red tape. It just feels kind of like a joke I'm not getting.
I also had a dream last night that really troubled me. It's left me thinking about how I'm constantly straddling between not wanting special treatment but occasionally needing it to be on the level with other people. In the dream, I got really mad because they had a group of us evacuate from a dorm into a hotel, but they didn't consider whether the hotel room was going to be accessible for me or not--and further, they didn't seem to really care. When I tried to explain the situation, the guy who seemed to be in an authority position seemed like he didn't want to listen to me, which just made me madder and more frustrated.
(...aw man. The KGB lost. D:< But next week it's VLAD THE IMPALER VS SUN TZU. Holy shit, you guys. I thought the KGB vs. CIA was going to be the awesome high point of the season. And then they set up Vlad the Fucking Impaler and Sun "Art of War" Tzu. Badass.)
I also really, really, really want to escape. I need to get out of here. Out of Texas. Every year, I feel it. Last year I even almost got to do so, and then everything went to shit. (And while, reasonably, it would have been a dick move to continue on the trip in the wake of the shit that went down last year, I still can't help feeling like I was robbed somehow.) Now I actually have the time to plan it, and I still feel so very limited... I have to wait on someone's word about a volunteer/internship opportunity. I have to decide whether or not I want to be completely independent or rely on someone more than I'd care to. I have to make sure I can afford it. I have to worry about loans that are slowly nearing the end of their grace period.
(And an episode of The History of Sex and a shower later, I'm still writing this blog that I started after the first segment of Deadliest Warrior WTF. At least my hair is finally clean. I caught a look of myself in the mirror as I got dressed, though. I look really exhausted.)
On top of that, I haven't really been able to write anything I like--or, when I write, I can't somehow finish it. I have all these ideas, and I can't get them out because I can't bring myself to focus long enough to just write and not worry about whether or not it's good. It's left me wondering what the hell happened to all my drive. I used to be able to write for hours, focused on nothing but what I was working on. What kind of writer am I, that I can't finish anything?
And I once again feel like I can't really talk about it to anybody because a) I don't feel like they're really hearing me or they feel like I'm asking them for a solution (like my parents) or b) I'm left feeling like...seriously, what right do I have to be feeling like this when other people are dealing worse than me? It just seems so trivial and stupid that I'm still feeling like this. I shouldn't be having a crying fit/wanting to have a crying fit over every stupid thing, like yesterday or the day before yesterday. But what the fuck do I know?
ETA: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/storygen.php
"We say 'story generator', but it should probably be 'story idea generator'. These elements from the trope indexes should spark an idea or two."
Just when I think TV Tropes can't get more useful...
Day 16 - A song that you want to play at your wedding
Day 17 - A song that you want to play at your funeral
Day 18 - A song that makes you laugh