To be a good friend.....
It's not a big secret... there have been numerous, if vague, postings and telephone conversations.... that several of the 'long term' relationships around us are ending.... it's always a shock to re-learn that your friends are fallible and that no, you do not always get to see everything going on in their relationships outside of you. It's the reminder of how well people lie not just to themselves but to everyone around them "they say that the truth will set you free but then so will a lie. It depends if you're trying to get to the promised land or you're just trying to get by "
I find myself on the receiving end of alot of vocal aghast and confusion and chaos and sadness. I try to remind myself that it's not always what I have to say but the fact that i'm listening that counts. I try my best to stay away from emotions these days, I try my best to not let any person hold sway over me long enough to cause...feelings. I try my best not to attempt to convince these women around me, in pain and lonely, that the only way to be okay is to not feel again..... I can learn to shut myself off, I can encourage flippant disregard in myself, I can be as isolated and protected as I want to be but it's not right to push this philosophy on others, others that are vulnerable. I find myself, after a couple of rounds of why does this hurt so bad, wanting to scream CUZ YOU'RE LETTING LOVE MAKE YOU WEAK!! And i'm not against love, by all means no, i'm against the blubbering, blathering, wreck of a person love can make you. And that goes both ways: the beginning and end of love kind of makes a fool out of otherwise perfectly reasonable people. So yes, perhaps i'm not the best advise giver in this dept but i'm being a damned good listener, for the moment at least. "what is a camera but a box of light? what is a guitar but a box of sound? you think I don't understand but I think I might, what it is to harness the emptiness and just ride it around and maybe your chest is an empty shell with ribs of spiraling coral where a perfect pearl of sadness resides but if you ever need an ear I could just come and press it there and listen to the sound of the ocean inside"
Better to just listen, than try to get them to subscribe to the school of Beth: avoid pain by avoiding emotional attachment and avoid emotional attachment by just not giving a shit what people do or say to you and when you do give a shit just turn it around into anger and let it flow and flow until you're empty again.....NOT that I haven't had my 'pearls of wisdom': love what you have, miss what you lost, look forward to what's ahead, dream bigger than the night before, always believe in yourself (others are focusing on themselves too and at some time logic dictates you'll only have you),allow yourself to cry but try to end it with a laugh, try to be the person you want to understand instead of trying to understand the person as yourself, YOU ARE WORTH ALL THE POSITIVE LOVE AND ATTENTION A PERSON CAN OFFER.
But this is my disclaimer: there is a very bitter, very hurt little girl inside of me that wishes nothing more than to lash out through you and attack love, or the lose of love. There is also a cold, calculated part of me that wishes you all would just suck it up and stop whining. If you get "advice" from me that borders on either side of those view, please please please disregard it. You are not me and you should not be me anyways ..... I think more than anything I just wanted to get this off my chest.
I find myself on the receiving end of alot of vocal aghast and confusion and chaos and sadness. I try to remind myself that it's not always what I have to say but the fact that i'm listening that counts. I try my best to stay away from emotions these days, I try my best to not let any person hold sway over me long enough to cause...feelings. I try my best not to attempt to convince these women around me, in pain and lonely, that the only way to be okay is to not feel again..... I can learn to shut myself off, I can encourage flippant disregard in myself, I can be as isolated and protected as I want to be but it's not right to push this philosophy on others, others that are vulnerable. I find myself, after a couple of rounds of why does this hurt so bad, wanting to scream CUZ YOU'RE LETTING LOVE MAKE YOU WEAK!! And i'm not against love, by all means no, i'm against the blubbering, blathering, wreck of a person love can make you. And that goes both ways: the beginning and end of love kind of makes a fool out of otherwise perfectly reasonable people. So yes, perhaps i'm not the best advise giver in this dept but i'm being a damned good listener, for the moment at least. "what is a camera but a box of light? what is a guitar but a box of sound? you think I don't understand but I think I might, what it is to harness the emptiness and just ride it around and maybe your chest is an empty shell with ribs of spiraling coral where a perfect pearl of sadness resides but if you ever need an ear I could just come and press it there and listen to the sound of the ocean inside"
Better to just listen, than try to get them to subscribe to the school of Beth: avoid pain by avoiding emotional attachment and avoid emotional attachment by just not giving a shit what people do or say to you and when you do give a shit just turn it around into anger and let it flow and flow until you're empty again.....NOT that I haven't had my 'pearls of wisdom': love what you have, miss what you lost, look forward to what's ahead, dream bigger than the night before, always believe in yourself (others are focusing on themselves too and at some time logic dictates you'll only have you),allow yourself to cry but try to end it with a laugh, try to be the person you want to understand instead of trying to understand the person as yourself, YOU ARE WORTH ALL THE POSITIVE LOVE AND ATTENTION A PERSON CAN OFFER.
But this is my disclaimer: there is a very bitter, very hurt little girl inside of me that wishes nothing more than to lash out through you and attack love, or the lose of love. There is also a cold, calculated part of me that wishes you all would just suck it up and stop whining. If you get "advice" from me that borders on either side of those view, please please please disregard it. You are not me and you should not be me anyways ..... I think more than anything I just wanted to get this off my chest.