(no subject)
it has aleady been a year since we got engaged, and two more days, we are left with 10 months to go before we are religiously hicthed. i can really feel the tortoise who had the race with the hare.
looking back at the days when i hated him so much, that i did sometimes wished that he'll be hurt by some other chicks the way he hurt me, i cant help feeling, there isnt anything that i would want to change. the tears i have shed, the sleepless nights, the insult i felt. and today, i still feel very blessed to have all those as a learning phase, for me, and for achap.
having said that, i have missed that few years of his life, i wonder what was he doing on weeknights, after his ngaji, after poly, on saturdays and sundays, i wonder, if he was happy. i wonder if he did think of me..
there are times when he says "kalau im not with you, i dunno what wld i do, and where wld i be"
and i replied bluntly, "youll be with kak pa lah"
whenever we took a stroll by the quay, making our way to Maulana, we would be quiet, as if we were reading a book, acknowledging what had happened there, many years ago. i had to leave for KL, and we were very very young, 17 yrs old, and that was the last evening i get to spend with him, before i leave.
until today, i cld still feel the pain.
Now, today, i am thankful for him. while he realise the fact that one of themany reasons that hes with me is because, hes a mess and i am a clean freak, i knw that i am with him, for a heck more of better reasons. hes the extinguisher to my fire, hes the listener to my anger, hes the feeder to my desire, hes the compass when i am lost. hes the rock that i lean against, when things go wrong.
when i taught him to blow his nose,with the least noise posible, he curbed my anger and taught me to make the least noise when im upset.
when i taught him to wear his slippers properly, and never lift his feet frm the sole as they might touch the floor, thus dirtying his heels, he taught me to be clear of what i want and paved my path with loads of faith in Allah.
when i taught him to feed himself food, without having the spoon touching his teeth, as the friction of his teeth against the spoon is distracting, he taught me to appreciate food and other things in life, with stronger faith in Allah.
when i taught him to type an 'i' before the words luv you, he taught me that there are many other ways to love somebody
we are neither free from arguments, expecially when hes marrying ME. i do step on his toes, literally and technically. sometimes i stepped on his toes, just to see how much i can bend him. and it took a lot of him, to realise that its just me and my antics.
In sadness and happiness, he has been a part of my life for a good 9 years, i have missed at least 6 years of his life, but i am looking forward to spend many more years with him. Fa Insya Allah..
and i teared waking up to..
"Darlin, im hm. Today we r one yr together
syukur, so far so good.
Allah masih bantu kita to go thru this.
sori you had to be alone most of the time.
bt be assure that i keja utk kesenangan kita.. insyaAllah
i luv you loads n thank you."
looking back at the days when i hated him so much, that i did sometimes wished that he'll be hurt by some other chicks the way he hurt me, i cant help feeling, there isnt anything that i would want to change. the tears i have shed, the sleepless nights, the insult i felt. and today, i still feel very blessed to have all those as a learning phase, for me, and for achap.
having said that, i have missed that few years of his life, i wonder what was he doing on weeknights, after his ngaji, after poly, on saturdays and sundays, i wonder, if he was happy. i wonder if he did think of me..
there are times when he says "kalau im not with you, i dunno what wld i do, and where wld i be"
and i replied bluntly, "youll be with kak pa lah"
whenever we took a stroll by the quay, making our way to Maulana, we would be quiet, as if we were reading a book, acknowledging what had happened there, many years ago. i had to leave for KL, and we were very very young, 17 yrs old, and that was the last evening i get to spend with him, before i leave.
until today, i cld still feel the pain.
Now, today, i am thankful for him. while he realise the fact that one of themany reasons that hes with me is because, hes a mess and i am a clean freak, i knw that i am with him, for a heck more of better reasons. hes the extinguisher to my fire, hes the listener to my anger, hes the feeder to my desire, hes the compass when i am lost. hes the rock that i lean against, when things go wrong.
when i taught him to blow his nose,with the least noise posible, he curbed my anger and taught me to make the least noise when im upset.
when i taught him to wear his slippers properly, and never lift his feet frm the sole as they might touch the floor, thus dirtying his heels, he taught me to be clear of what i want and paved my path with loads of faith in Allah.
when i taught him to feed himself food, without having the spoon touching his teeth, as the friction of his teeth against the spoon is distracting, he taught me to appreciate food and other things in life, with stronger faith in Allah.
when i taught him to type an 'i' before the words luv you, he taught me that there are many other ways to love somebody
we are neither free from arguments, expecially when hes marrying ME. i do step on his toes, literally and technically. sometimes i stepped on his toes, just to see how much i can bend him. and it took a lot of him, to realise that its just me and my antics.
In sadness and happiness, he has been a part of my life for a good 9 years, i have missed at least 6 years of his life, but i am looking forward to spend many more years with him. Fa Insya Allah..
and i teared waking up to..
"Darlin, im hm. Today we r one yr together
syukur, so far so good.
Allah masih bantu kita to go thru this.
sori you had to be alone most of the time.
bt be assure that i keja utk kesenangan kita.. insyaAllah
i luv you loads n thank you."