Puberty.
So in less than 2 days I'm moving on from my life as I currently know it, and into a scuzzy apartment building with two messy blokes and one fine crazy lady.
I'm so freaked.
I have, 4 boxes packed. ie..I'm fucked.
I have a million things to buy, bills to pay, and zero time to do anything.
Work fucking sucks, moving again fucking sucks, thinking too much about my life sucks, depression sucks, and being in a makeshift 'partnership' sucks.
I wish I knew what the hell I was doing before August that made Karma come and kick my ass so much now.
This month, all I've come to realise, is that my childhood is over...and I never thought I'd panic and freak out so much about it.
I'm in limbo, and all I can think about is how it's probably just all going to get so much worse.
I want a life. A real one. Sometimes when I'm walking I look into other people's windows, and see..something real. An entire life they've created surrounding them.
I want that. I want to be able to cook. I want to be able to put away a hundred dollars or so every month into some retirement fund thing. I want my own place, with my own things in it..and no pubic hair in the sink.
and some fucking chick at work told me I was an exact replica of Paris Hilton minus the blond hair. That was even worse than the whole "OMG YOU LOOK LIKE BABY OFF DIRTY DANCING".
Anyway, enough of this because I'm just increasing the massive black hole taking over my mind, and I have to go stare at my stuff hoping it'll all just pack itself.
uhh housewarming party soon.
I'm so freaked.
I have, 4 boxes packed. ie..I'm fucked.
I have a million things to buy, bills to pay, and zero time to do anything.
Work fucking sucks, moving again fucking sucks, thinking too much about my life sucks, depression sucks, and being in a makeshift 'partnership' sucks.
I wish I knew what the hell I was doing before August that made Karma come and kick my ass so much now.
This month, all I've come to realise, is that my childhood is over...and I never thought I'd panic and freak out so much about it.
I'm in limbo, and all I can think about is how it's probably just all going to get so much worse.
I want a life. A real one. Sometimes when I'm walking I look into other people's windows, and see..something real. An entire life they've created surrounding them.
I want that. I want to be able to cook. I want to be able to put away a hundred dollars or so every month into some retirement fund thing. I want my own place, with my own things in it..and no pubic hair in the sink.
and some fucking chick at work told me I was an exact replica of Paris Hilton minus the blond hair. That was even worse than the whole "OMG YOU LOOK LIKE BABY OFF DIRTY DANCING".
Anyway, enough of this because I'm just increasing the massive black hole taking over my mind, and I have to go stare at my stuff hoping it'll all just pack itself.
uhh housewarming party soon.