A Christmas To Be Remembered
Title: A Christmas To Be Remembered
Author: satanic_viper
Prompt: "Derek's sister invited some mutual friends (Addison is one of them, of course) over for X'mas dinner and Derek brought Meredith along" from jessica_eliza on the cobra_sss Christmas wishlist
Pairing: Addison/Derek
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Up until the most recent seasons of GA and PP pretty much. But nothing major spoilery.
Summary: The prompt really says it all ;).
A/N: This is by far the longest oneshot that I have ever written; nearly 19 1/2 pages. I hope that you all enjoy the lengthy read. Special thanks goes out to salmon_scrubs for basically coaching me through many parts throughout the story. She was always there to provide some very helpful input and I couldn't have done it without her constant motivation and pushing me to continue. And to Jess, sorry it's a late Christmas gift. It's been a busy and long month, but I hope you like it anyway!
It was nice and refreshing for Addison to be back in New York once again. Though many bad memories remained there, it still felt like home, namely because she had called it her home for so long. There was an overwhelming sense that she belonged here during this time of year. The snow was falling fleetingly to cover the ground in a heavenly white layer. Children played in Central Park having the time of their lives. Most importantly, however, it was here that she had family; not the family that one would expect because she barely considers the Captain and Bizzy anything of the sort. No, her family wasn’t depicted through a conventional lens and it never had.
Nancy had asked her to come back and spend Christmas with all of them, and after weighing her options-to stay in LA and spend the holidays alone or to fly to New York and see the lovely women she’d come to see as her own sisters-the answer seemed pretty simple. Don’t get Addison wrong, though; she did see everyone at the practice as family, but it just wasn’t the same. She had delivered most of the Shepherd litter into the world and Derek’s sisters had been there for her every descending step to the end of their marriage. For now, this was where she belonged during the holidays.
The taxi drove her up the long driveway and she tipped the driver, wishing him a merry Christmas as she got out of the cab and pulled her bags with her. With a deep breath, she walked up the path leading to the large oak doors. She knew better than to knock or ring the doorbell, so she freely opened the door and stepped inside.
As bright as it was outside, light seemingly flooded over the threshold and onto the lawn. Every nook and cranny was illuminated by some source of light. She could already hear the sounds of pattering feet running around on the hardwood floors, the buzz of conversation in the kitchen, and the TV blaring in the living room with the intermittent cheering of men. Smiling, she felt as if it was like every other Christmas she’d spent here.
“Aunt Addie!” came suddenly as a rush of children ran toward her.
She kneeled down just in time for the kids to envelop her in a hug. “Hey guys,” she said smiling brightly and hugging them back, “Let me get a good look at you all.”
“It’s been so long,” one of the little girls said as she let go of Addison and was followed by the others.
“It has…You’ve grown so much, Angie,” Addison said, placing her hand on the cheek of Kathleen’s daughter, “All of you have.”
Nancy entered the room from the kitchen. “Addie, you made it,” she greeted happily, walking to Addison and giving her a hug. After Addison nodded, Nancy addressed the children, “Why don’t you all go play some while I get your Aunt Addie settled upstairs.” The kids awed disappointedly in unison. “I know, I know. It’s been a while, but she’ll be here for a couple of days. You get all of that time with her.”
“Okay,” her boys said and ran off with their cousin Angie to play some more.
“So…” Nancy said turning back to Addison and picking up one of her bags, “How was your flight?”
“It was as good as a plane ride can get I guess,” she said with a small laugh.
The two women settled into a comfortable conversation and headed up the stairs. Nancy led the way to one of the spare bedrooms where Addison would reside for the rest of her stay in New York. It was nice to finally be able to catch up about everything; Addison’s life in L.A., Nancy’s little ones, and everything in between. It felt as if nothing had changed since she left, and she was grateful that one of Derek’s sisters could treat her so well after everything.
“I have a bit of bad news though, Addie,” Nancy said, taking a seat on the bed.
“What? What’s the matter?” Addison wondered, slightly worried. She joined Nancy and sat down onto the edge.
“Oh, it’s nothing serious,” Nancy shrugged, “It’s just…Mom thought it would be nice to invite Derek back for the holidays. I honestly thought that he wouldn’t decide to come, but…he and the slutty intern are on their way.” She bit on her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows as she tried to gauge Addison’s reaction.
The redhead stared at her blankly for a few seconds, trying to wrap her mind around having to spend Christmas, what used to be their holiday, with Derek and Meredith. Finally, she nodded and said, “Okay. I don’t have a problem with this.”
Nancy could hear the weariness in her voice, “I’m sorry, Addie. I really didn’t know Mom had asked him until after the fact.”
“No, it’s fine. He’s moved on with his life. I’ve moved on with mine. It’ll be fine,” she stated, although she only half believed it herself.
“Okay,” Nancy said reluctantly, “But just let me know. I can make the slutty intern stay at least ten feet away from you.”
Addison laughed and shook her head, “I don’t think that’ll be necessary…but I’ll let you know if we get to that point.”
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
The friendly conversations about work, cars, and the like in the living room were interrupted when a familiar voice came from the front door, “Guess who’s here!”
Derek suddenly appeared at the threshold separating the foyer from the living room, beaming happily at everyone. All of the children sprang up at once and ran toward the entrance merrily. “Uncle Derek!” they yelled and tackled him, a greeting they had seemed to adopt for everyone. They hugged his legs tightly with smiles on their faces.
“Hey you little rascals,” Derek said, putting his hands on the top of some of his nephews’ heads and messing up their hair which received some disgruntled looks from them. With his famous grin, he looked up at everyone else and greeted them. Meredith sheepishly stood behind him, feeling a bit uncomfortable being there with him. She was never comfortable with the thought that Derek had had another life before her, another life before Seattle and that she didn’t know that part of him. Being in the presence of all of these people that was a part of that previous life didn’t help her feel any better about the fact.
He turned around to find her standing there quietly and with a sympathetic smile, he held out his hand for her to take. “Everyone, this is Meredith,” he introduced after she’d stepped forward.
“Hi Meredith,” they all chorally said in unison, but only one voice caught Derek’s attention and he had to do a slight double take. His eyes landed on the redhead that he hadn’t noticed upon arrival. “Addie…” he said, releasing Meredith’s hand.
“Hello Derek,” Addison said with a small smile from her seat in one of the arm chairs.
Everyone else in the room seemed to shift a bit uncomfortably and glance to one another, not knowing what to do or say to cut the tension in the room. Meredith, who had thought she couldn’t feel more awkward there, got to a new level of discomfort. She felt like she was going to be sick. This competition between herself and Addison seemed to never end, and she felt like she always had to prove to everyone that she was good enough for Derek. She had known that it was going to be hard enough to win the hearts of his whole family, but now she was faced with Addison, a woman whom they have known much longer and obviously still love since she was here and all.
After several moments that felt like an eternity as they were in a standstill in this awkward situation, Nancy decided to step in, “Derek, Meredith, why don’t I show you two to your room.”
Derek gladly accepted the offer for reprieve from this as he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his ex-wife and his current wife was in the same house about to celebrate Christmas with his family. He nodded and placed his hand on the small of Meredith’s back, ushering her to follow Nancy up the stairs as he grabbed their bags.
Addison let out a long sigh as she watched them disappear up the stairs. All of the eyes that were now on her made her feel uneasy so she stood and excused herself, walking into the kitchen. The escape she sought, however, was nonexistent because the person she was faced with was probably the one person-apart from maybe Meredith-that didn’t want her there the most; Derek’s mother.
Putting on a polite smile, she said, “Hello,” to the woman she once called her mother-in-law. She took a seat on one of the barstools, “Um, Derek just got here. Nancy’s getting them settled upstairs.”
“Good,” Carolyn nodded as she continued to busy herself with things around the kitchen.
Sighing, Addison let her head hang low before Carolyn decided to address her again, “Why is it that you’re here, Addison?”
“Excuse me?” she wondered, getting caught slightly off guard by that remark.
The older woman set the towel she was holding onto the countertop. “Why are you here? I thought I had heard from my girls that you’d moved to LA and started a new life out there.”
“I did. I just thought…it would be nice to be with my family back here again.”
“Look, Addison, I’ve held my tongue for years because Derek loved you, but now I’m going to be frank with you.” Addison gave her a nod to continue, completely expecting the worst. “You’re a sweet girl,” Carolyn began, “But you were never fit for my son. You don’t fully know what he’s about or understand where this family comes from. That was made obvious when you slept with his best friend. I know my girls love you and think of you as if you were one of them, but it’s time you move on. Let Derek go.”
Addison had to muster everything that was within her not to show how enraged she was beginning to feel by what Carolyn was saying. She was basically slapping her in the face with her offhanded comments while still trying to put up this sweet exterior.
“Mrs. Shepherd,” she said, the title she’d given her now that ‘mom’ wasn’t to suffice anymore, “I have moved on with my life. I have a practice that I’m absolutely ecstatic about on most days. I have friends there, new and old, who really have become another family to me.”
“That still begs the question why you decided to come here,” Carolyn reiterated, “If you have this life in Los Angeles, why spend the holidays here?”
“I came here because Nancy asked me to, because I thought it would be a way to make my peace with everyone. Not once did my intentions drift to Derek. God, I didn’t even know he was going to be here, and maybe if I had known, I wouldn’t have come,” Addison paused and tried to calm herself. It wasn’t going to help anything if she was too emotional about this, “But I am here now and so are he and Meredith. I have no intentions to sabotage this celebration, so I would hope that we could push past any of the feelings we hold for one another and let everyone enjoy the holiday.”
Although Carolyn was still skeptical about everything, her ex-daughter-in-law did have a point. Family always came first before anything in her eyes, and Christmas was not going to be ruined over pettiness, not on her account at the very least. She gave Addison a soft smile and nodded, “I think we can manage that.”
Addison smiled back and took that as her cue to leave, getting up to exit the kitchen area. Carolyn soon followed but only to head upstairs to see her one and only son.
On the way up, she passed by Nancy who informed her that the couple were still up in their room getting settled in. Upon getting to the door, Carolyn was about to knock when she heard their slightly raised voices and decided to wait a bit longer before entering. She was going to head to her room for a bit, however, it was hard to walk away and not to listen in on the conversation.
“What is she doing here, Derek?” Meredith yelled her frustrations. She had thought that this was going to be their perfect Christmas and for once she could enjoy the holiday. Who better to enjoy it with than with her husband and his family, but not anymore. Addison was here to crush everything once again.
He sighed and sat down on the bed, “I don’t know.”
“Well, did you know that she was coming?”
“No, I didn’t,” Derek replied feeling a little annoyed with the whole situation. Meredith was making too big a deal of this, “Even if I did, would that have changed anything?”
Meredith couldn’t believe the way he was acting so nonchalant as if this hadn’t ruined everything, “Yes! We would have just stayed in Seattle.”
“Do you really mean to tell me that because of one single person, you wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with my family?” he raised his eyebrow.
“Derek, that isn’t what I said. You just don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand!” he raised his voice.
“It’s…It’s Addison. I just don’t get what she’s doing here. Shouldn’t she be running along the beach in California or something? Why does she have to ruin this for us?” she paced back and forth across the room.
“I don’t think that is why she’s here, Mer. You seem to be forgetting the fact that she’s my ex-wife-”
“Oh trust me,” she interrupted, turning to Derek and pointing her finger, “That is a fact that I know very well.”
“Well, then you’re failing to see that because she’s my ex-wife, she’s been with my family at these kinds of things for eleven years. Hell, she was probably here more often than I was during that time because I was so absent. I surely wouldn’t want her to stop coming just because of how things turned out between us. She’s loved by my nieces and nephews; she delivered at least half of them. Addison has as much of a right to be here as you or I.”
Meredith shook her head, “You still don’t get it.”
“I don’t know what there is to get, so can we just make the most of it?” Derek pleaded softly, “Christmas is only days away, and I don’t want to be bickering the whole time.”
“Yeah…but not right now. I just need to be by myself for a while. You go on ahead. I need to wrap my mind around all of this before I can be with your family and her right now.”
He couldn’t believe how ridiculous she was being about all of this. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen Addison since the divorce. It was proven time and time again that they could all be civil toward one another and sometimes even friends. Getting up from his spot on the bed, he finally said, “Fine, suit yourself.”
Before Derek exited the room, Carolyn ducked into another one of Nancy’s spare rooms so as not to get caught eavesdropping. She heard Derek leave and shut the door behind him, listening to his footsteps descend down the stairs again. Standing there for a moment in silence, she mulled over what she’d just witnessed. Maybe her first instincts about Meredith hadn’t been as spot on as she had thought they were. She left her thoughts there and went back downstairs to rejoin her family.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
Switching from lying on his stomach, then to his back and finally to his side, Derek still couldn’t fall asleep. There wasn’t a position he could get into that would make him comfortable enough that he could block out the loud sounds of Meredith snoring. He’d always strongly disliked having to leave her in the middle of the night to get some sleep, but being a surgeon, he couldn’t afford to have any less sleep than was possible. Functioning at any level that wasn’t his best was never an option, even if that meant leaving his girlfriend or wife in the middle of the night.
Even though he was on vacation, it was ideal to get even more rest than usual. He let out a sigh and looked over at her sleeping form. Her mouth was slightly open as her chest heaved up and down. Quietly, Derek got up and grabbed his pillow to stealthily slip out the door.
On his way down the hall to head downstairs, he noticed light coming from underneath the door to Addison’s room. Figuring it’d be nice to have some company in his inability to sleep, Derek knocked gently on the door before he peeked his head inside.
“Hey,” Addison greeted with a bright smile, looking over the rim of her ruby-colored glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.
Derek fully entered the room and walked toward her bed, “Doing some late night reading?”
“Yeah,” she said, holding her book up briefly to show him the cover, “It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to read for pleasure. What’re you doing up?”
“Couldn’t sleep. I forgot to pack my ear plugs and Meredith’s snoring is keeping me awake.”
She tired her best to suppress a smile but ended up letting out a small laugh, “Oh…Sorry, it’s not that funny.” Clearing her throat, she tried to recompose herself.
He tried to give her an incredulous look as he took a seat facing her on her bed, but he couldn’t keep himself from chuckling a bit either, “No, it isn’t funny, but it does sound a little ridiculous.” That infamous McDreamy grin graced his face as his eyes seemed to sparkle from the light of the lamp.
“I just never knew the ‘golden couple’ ever had such problems.”
“We’re not the golden couple,” Derek shook his head.
Rolling her eyes slightly, Addison set her book on the bedside table and said, “Well, your mother seems to think so at least. She hates that I’m here by the way; even gave me a whole lecture about why I shouldn’t have come.”
He let out a sigh and added, “Meredith wasn’t exactly thrilled either-if that wasn’t made obvious today. We had our own little yelling match right after we got here.
A twinge of guilt shone on her face before she looked down and apologized, “I’m sorry, Derek.”
“Don’t be,” he responded quickly, “If they don’t like that you’re here, that’s a personal issue that they have to deal with, not you.” Pausing, he reached out and placed a hand on her knee through the comforter, “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you came.”
She looked up, her face brightening significantly, “Really?”
“Yeah, it would have been weird without you here, Addie. It’s like I told Meredith, you have every right to be here too.”
Addison gave him a sincere smile and quietly thanked him. The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, gazing over each other’s features as they sat across from one another. For whatever reason, it didn’t feel weird at all. It just felt like old times, like old friends catching up or just quietly hanging out. Every so often, however, there was a twinkle of what they used to be in their demeanor and they both felt it, but neither wanted to admit it.
In all of the silence and thought, a memory suddenly came to her, causing Addison to laugh, “Do you remember that Christmas that Kathleen went into labor with Turner?”
Derek let out a chuckle, “How could I forget? Everyone was running around as if the whole world was about to end…”
“And, they were pushing me and Kathleen out the door so that we could get to the hospital. Then there was the whole debacle with the cars.”
His mouth dropped slightly as he recalled that particular part of the night and it dawned on him, “Her husband was so consumed with what they had planned and practiced, that he insisted that they take their car. That of course meant that everyone parked behind them would have to move their cars so that they could get out…”
“Mom was directing everyone and trying to strategically plan who needed to move what car…”
“It never occurred to anyone to just hop in the outermost car until you said something.”
Addison and Derek laughed together as the events replayed vividly in their minds. Only someone on the outside would have noticed how many times they had finished each other’s sentences and thoughts. Neither of them did, nor did they notice that she’d referred to Carolyn as ‘mom’ again. All of this, like performing surgery, was second nature to them.
Glancing at the clock, he noticed that it was getting fairly late. “We should get some sleep soon, Add. We’re on vacation; staying up until all hours of the night isn’t acceptable.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, “What are you going to do about the snoring?”
“Well, I-” Derek started as he was about to tell her about his original plan of getting acquainted with a couch downstairs, but he soon changed his mind, “Would it be alright if I slept here?”
She cocked an eyebrow at him, “Here?”
“Yeah,” he answered quickly before she could set her mind on declining, “I’d be out of here and back in my room by three or four before Meredith wakes up. Trust me, Addie, I’ve had to sneak in and out before.”
“Okay…” Addison conceded despite her initial inhibitions and her better judgment, “But you keep to your side of the bed.
He felt like they were teenagers again and thought it a little ridiculous but he agreed, “Deal.”
Sliding over, she made room for him so that he could slip into bed. They both got settled under the covers and she turned off the lamp. Lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling, he turned his head to look at her and said, “Goodnight, Addie.”
“G’night, Derek,” she said with a quick glance in his direction, and the peaceful quietness soon sent them into a state of slumber.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
The next morning, Addison awoke to the feeling of the mattress shifting beside her. Thinking that it was just Derek getting up to leave, she mentally shrugged it off, but turned to say goodbye to him until later. Instead of finding her ex-husband on the other side of the bed, her eyes were met with a different pair of bright blue ones.
“Good morning, Aunt Addie,” Angie grinned toothily. She had crawled up the bed underneath the covers to lie next to Addison.
“Hey sweetie,” she said tiredly back, suppressing a yawn.
Derek’s niece looked up at her with bright questioning eyes, “Mommy and Aunt Nancy told me to come wake you up for breakfast.” As Addison was nodding with her eyes half closed, the little girl asked a little excitedly, “Are you married to Uncle Derek again?”
Confused, she squinted her eyes, “Wha-” It was then that she looked past Angie and noticed that behind her was Derek still fast asleep with his back toward her. She glanced at the clock behind her which read seven o’clock and whispered, “Shit.”
“You are, aren’t you?”
Addison turned back to Angie really quickly, “No no no. We’re not…”
“But you are!” the four year old said before she scurried from underneath the comforter and headed to the door.
“No, don’t tell…” she began before Angie was already out the door, “anyone that.” With a groan, she semi-angrily pulled her pillow from underneath her head and swung it over, hitting Derek square on the back.
“What? What happened?” he jumped, barely being able to take in his surroundings.
“You never left!” Addison hissed.
Thinking it was too early in the morning for a girl flip out, he asked again, “What?”
“You never left to go back to bed with Meredith!” she answered, trying to spell it out for him. “Angie came in here and saw us. Now she thinks we’re back together. You get back to bed with Meredith before she wakes up while I go do damage control before Angie tells anybody.” Even though nothing happened, she could only imagine what everyone else would think or say.
Derek was finally coming to and he was letting her words sink in. This could definitely turn out very bad. “Right,” he said with a nod, pulling the covers off of himself and getting up.
“Hurry!” She didn’t have to say much else to get him out the door and heading down the hall. Pulling on the robe she’d packed, Addison let out a sigh. Already she knew it was going to be a very long day. She only hoped that all of this didn’t lead to any more hatred toward her, if that was even possible. All set to chase down a four year old and keep her from leaking a single word, she was prepared to tackle whatever the day would bring.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
The day had gone better than Addison had initially thought. After she’d caught up with Angie and explained to her everything on the most elementary level-she had told her that she and Derek were merely having a sleepover-the four year old was content to keep the secret and went on her way. A burden was swiftly taken off her shoulders at that moment and helped her to move on with everything that the day had to offer.
She had always enjoyed spending time with Derek’s sisters. From the day he first brought her home to meet all of them to the present day after their divorce, his sisters made her feel like she belonged. They laughed about past memories of family gatherings, of Derek’s adventures when he was a kid. It was like nothing had changed. It was only when Meredith came into the room that they were quickly brought back to reality and the gravity of all that had happened since those blissful times.
As hard as it was for her, Addison did her best to try and include Meredith in their conversation because she could only imagine how awkward it was for her. It didn’t help that Derek’s sisters would have none of it though and gave the frail blonde the toughest time. In trying to balance everyone’s personalities and opinions, she quickly became exhausted. The night had come and she was back in bed, trying to read her book but her mind kept wandering elsewhere.
Being a thousand miles away from Derek, it was easy to put him in that tiny little box that she’d created for him. She could live her life in sunny California and not think about everything that had brought her to that point, but they were here in New York together and she was reminded of every great thing that they had had going for them. Watching him smile and laugh, talking to his sisters about those memories in their distant past, it made her wonder how different things could have been had they both made different choices, how much happier they could have been.
Her thoughts were interrupted when a knock came at the door and Derek appeared briefly thereafter. “Hello again,” he smiled.
“Hi,” came Addison’s meek reply.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Derek asked, making his way over to her bed and settling down onto it, concern filling his eyes.
She shook her head, “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Addie…I can tell something’s bothering you.”
“I know,” she said as she nodded, “But it isn’t anything to be worried about, really.”
Derek was well aware that it was more than what she was letting on but he knew better than to try and force her to talk when she didn’t want to. Addison always opened up when she was well and ready, so he shrugged it off and hoped that she really was okay.
It was only a brief moment of silence before she decided to change the topic, partly to get her mind off of things, “So this morning was interesting to say the least.”
He winced, “Yeah, I’m sorry about that, Add. I don’t know how that happened. Usually, my body gets me up early to head back to bed with her on its own accord.”
“Well next time, which there shouldn’t be a next time, you get to do damage control,” she said, glaring at him in a joking manner, “You try explaining to a four year old that divorced couples sometimes like to have sleepovers.”
“Is that what you told her?” Derek laughed.
“Yes, what else could I have told her?” she raised an eyebrow and threw a pillow at him, “She was ready to tell the world that her Aunt Addie and Uncle Derek were married again.”
Still laughing, he caught the pillow and set it beside her at the head of the bed. He lay down onto his side to face her and got comfortable, “You could have come up with a better lie than that.”
“It was early. Besides, I didn’t see you trying to help.”
“It may have been early, but I do recall a certain grumbly redhead ordering me to go elsewhere,” he countered, which gave her nothing to retort back with.
Addison rolled her eyes at his smug grin, “Well, I guess it was better than that time Nathan walked in on us actually in the throes…What is it with your nieces and nephews having a knack for busting in at the most inopportune times?”
“And interns,” he added, recalling the countless times during their residencies that interns would stumble upon their escapades in an on call room or supply closet.
She nodded in agreement, “Interns too, which was always your fault by the way.”
“My fault?”
“You were always the one leaving doors unlocked.”
“Well sorry if I was busy having sex with my hot wife,” Derek retorted, “You could have easily locked the doors too, you know.”
Turning, she placed her book on the bedside table and scooted herself down until she was situated under the covers, “It’s not customary for a lady to do that.”
“Who says?” he wondered incredulously.
“I do,” was her definitive answer.
“You’re just saying that to win the argument,” he smirked.
“Shut up, Derek.” Addison said softly.
He let out a chuckle and took a moment to ponder where to take the conversation after he so triumphantly won their debate, “So what do you miss most about us…while we were in the throes as you so eloquently put before?”
“Are you asking me what I miss about our sex life?” she asked, feeling a little shocked.
With innocent eyes, he answered, “Yes.”
“I am so not having that conversation with you,” she shook her head.
“C’mon, Addie,” he prodded, “It’s all in good fun. We are reminiscing after all.”
“Not about that.”
“I’ll even start…”
“I’m not listening,” Addison said as she tried to turn away from him and feign that she was going to sleep.
Derek gently put his hand on her shoulder and turned her back to look at him. The two bantered into the night about various things and eventually fell asleep during one of the brief pauses between topics. Through the night, they ended up cuddled against one another, his arm draped across her waist. It was a sight to see, especially for Meredith who’d woken up in the middle of the night and went looking for him.
She hadn’t found him downstairs, and she really didn’t want to believe that he would be with Addison, but something told her to look anyway and her gut had been right. With a heavy feeling in her chest, she let them be and went back to the room that he was supposed to be staying in with her. Meredith lay down on her side in bed again, her eyes wide open as negative thoughts swam through her head keeping her awake. When he snuck back in early the next morning, she pretended to be asleep although she would have loved to throw some things and yell or scream some choice words that’d been running through her mind over and over like a broken record. She just bit it all back; it would have to wait till later.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
Christmas Eve at the Shepherds’ always consisted of the same things. They cooked and ate all day while the children played their games. At night, they sat around the living room and enjoyed the warmth of the fire in the fireplace as they carried on with their conversations. It felt just like every other Christmas Eve with everyone excited for the morning of family and presents. There was just one small difference this year, however.
“I know it’s getting late, so I’d like to make a toast before people start heading off to bed,” Nancy’s husband Jonathan began and lifted up his glass of eggnog, “I’d like to thank everyone for being here and celebrating this wonderful holiday with us. Every year, it’s a pleasure to spend time with some amazing people. Here’s to another merry Christmas!”
As everyone drank their eggnog, Meredith emerged from the kitchen where she’d ducked into for sometime without anyone noticing. “I have something to say too,” she said, her words coming out slowly as a result of her state of inebriation. “I would like to thank everyone for giving me Christmas just like all of the Christmases that I’ve had; really, really…bad and crappy.”
The eyes around the room widened slightly and Derek stepped forward, saying her name to try and get her to stop but she was ready to go on a roll.
“Thanks to Addison for being her usual, tall and brilliant self…loved by everyone including Derek who feels compelled to share a bed with her at night.” There was a brief pause where they all glanced back and forth from Derek to Addison wearing guilty faces before she continued to speak, “Everyone loves Addison and knows Addison, but no one knows me. And I’m his wife now…not her.”
“And you,” she continued with her outstretched arm, pointing her finger around the room to the Shepherd girls, “His exclusive sisters deliberately leaving me out of conversations and making me feel about this small.” Her hand rose up and holding her thumb and index finger a mere inch apart, she made her point as she rocked back on her heels struggling for some balance.
Carolyn looked on in shock like everyone else, shaking her head in disbelief. Her read on Meredith had proven to be very wrong now, and all she had the energy for was to look on disapprovingly.
Before this got anymore out of hand than it’d already had, Derek made his way over to Meredith and grabbed her arm, “I think we need to leave for a while.”
She struggled and protested, but eventually he got her coat on and they were out the door. Their trek down the driveway was made in silence until he finally let go of her and asked, “What the heck were you doing in there?”
“What the heck are you doing?” Meredith yelled, flinging her arm at him, “Why are you sleeping with Addison?”
“I didn’t sleep with Addison…Okay, I slept in the same bed as her but I didn’t sleep with her,” he retorted as they continued walking along the sidewalk.
“It’s practically the same thing.”
Derek shook his head and ran his fingers over his forehead before sticking his hands in his pockets, “Those things you said in there…”
“Are the truth!” she finished for him, “They all hate me.”
“Well after that speech, yeah,” he scoffed.
Letting out a sigh, the cold highlighted her breath through the air, “I don’t belong here.”
“Meredith, don’t say that.”
“It’s true, Derek. Your sisters make a point of making sure I know that fact every day that we’ve been here.”
“So what are you saying?” Derek wondered, stopping their path down the sidewalk and turning to look at her.
She looked over at him and shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know…Do you love me? Do you love her?”
“I…” he paused as his mind flashed through everything that had happened over the past couple of days since they’d gotten to New York, “I never realized how much I missed all of this until now. I miss my family and all of the memories that we’ve talked about. A lot was left behind when I moved to Seattle.”
“That’s the problem,” she nodded, “I’m not a part of any of that…but she is.” By now her drunken haze had dissipated slightly and her mind could wrap around where this was headed.
“I didn’t see this coming at all when we’d decided to spend the holidays with my family,” he said frowning slightly, “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“I know, Derek. You’ve never been that guy.”
Derek looked at her sadly and apologized, “I’m sorry, Meredith. I’ve put you all through so much.”
“It’s okay,” she said, placing a hand on his arm, “Maybe this has always been how it was supposed to end.”
“I guess…”
Letting out a sigh, Meredith said, “Well, take me back to the house. I’ll just grab my bags and call for a taxi. I have a friend from Columbia I can probably crash with.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, feeling badly.
“Yeah, I can’t stay here anymore after tonight.”
“Okay,” he nodded. They embraced in a hug, holding each other close in the cold. What they had was really ending there once and for all.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
Standing outside Addison’s bedroom door, Derek tried to figure out what it was that he was going to tell her. He had no idea how to explain to her what had happened over the past couple of days that had helped him come to realize that she was still the one he felt most comfortable with. He couldn’t even say for sure that she felt the same way about him. With an unsteady hand, he turned the knob and opened the door without knocking.
“Hey Addie,” he said, finding that she was sitting on the bed hugging her knees without her book tonight.
“Hey, how’d everything go?” she asked, her voice sounding very weak.
He shrugged his shoulders in a gesture of defeat, looking down at the ground, “Meredith and I broke things off.”
“What?” Addison asked surprised, “Over what happened tonight? That seems a little over the top.”
Lifting his head up to look at her, he made his way over to the bed and sat down with his back against the headboard. “Well, it was tonight and an accumulation of other things,” Derek said softly, not quite looking at her anymore.
“What other things?”
“Just things that have happened while we were here,” he still couldn’t find the words to tell her just yet. There was a slight pause before he spoke again, “How were things back here? I’m sorry I left you to do damage control again.”
She let out a small laugh, “It went fine. It just took a bit to explain the whole having shared a bed the last couple of nights. Your sisters seemed to enjoy it. Your mom, maybe not so much.”
“I can only imagine,” Derek chuckled slightly.
“So with Meredith,” Addison said seemingly a little nervous, “What about your marriage and all?”
“Our marriage? Well, I guess if we can get married on a post-it note, I can divorce her on one too,” he joked, turning to her with a grin.
She let out a genuine laugh and shook her head, “We all sure do act like we have everything figured out…”
“When we haven’t got a clue.”
Addison looked at him, her eyes soft and he could see all of the weariness that lay there. Reaching over, Derek gently ran his hand down her arm and grasped her hand in his giving it a reassuring squeeze. They’d been through so much already, and he knew by saying what had been playing in his mind since ending things with Meredith he was going to drag them through another bout of difficult times. He couldn’t not say anything, however, and wonder for the rest of his life about the what if’s.
“Did you feel it too,” he blurted out suddenly, “These past couple of nights?”
“Feel what exactly?” she asked skeptically, causing his heart to drop a little in his chest.
Letting out a sigh, he glanced down at their joined hands. “The reason why I so easily broke it off with Meredith was because…because over the past couple of days, you and my family have shown me everything that I’ve missed out on. I’ve missed this, but more importantly I’ve missed you…us,” he said, lifting his gaze to meet hers in a gentle plea for her to say the same.
“I’ve missed this too,” Addison sadly said, “But all of this is what once was; it’s not who we are now.”
“Does it really have to be that way? Addie, I…I still love you. Spending these nights with you has finally opened my eyes.”
She shook her head, “Please, don’t say that, Derek. It’s been hard enough trying to get over you. I can’t bear to do it all again.” Tears welled up in her eyes, her heart wanting so badly to give in to him. Whenever she allowed herself to imagine a moment such as this, she never dreamed of saying no, but now that the opportunity presented itself, her fears got the best of her.
He let go of her hand only to lift it up and cup her cheek, forcing her to look at him. The sad expression he found there broke his heart to witness, “I know that I’ve put you through hell and in some ways, I may have broken you. But I know now that I never stopped loving you, and it took being here to remind me of how great we can be. I’ve never truly felt that with Meredith.”
Pausing, Derek could see her walls slowly begin to crumble with each of his reassurances, so he continued, “As much as I may not deserve it, I’m asking for one more chance, Add, to do it right this time. If there’s any part of you that still loves me, say yes and I promise to treat you well and put the pieces of us back together.”
The corners of her mouth lifted slightly in a sad smile and she nodded, “Third time’s the charm, I guess.”
His face broke into a grin, feeling thankful for yet another chance to be with the one woman he’s always loved most. Bringing his hand to the back of her neck with his fingers threading through her hair, Derek pulled her in closer toward him, his eyes glancing down at her inviting lips. He looked back up just long enough to see her eyes slowly flutter close before he went the rest of the way, pressing his lips against hers.
After several open mouthed kisses, Addison parted her lips and let her tongue snake around in search of his. As they dueled against each other, she lifted herself off the headboard to bring her hands to rest on his shoulders, running one down his arm. He let his fingers brush against the bare skin at her shoulder blades, caressing her smoothness around the straps of her gown before lifting them and sliding them down her shoulders. Once her arms were out of them, the material pooled down at her waist and exposed her bare chest to him.
He broke their kiss and smiled at her, glancing down at her half nakedness. Sitting back on his legs beside her, he let his eyes follow his hand as it ran across her chest and slipped down, cupping a breast. He kneaded it softly and watched as her eyes close again and her head fell back, before bringing his hand to her other breast. Derek bent down and slowly flicked his tongue against her left nipple, remembering that it was most sensitive.
She whimpered softly when he held her breast firmly in his hand and encased her already hard nipple in his mouth, running the tip of his tongue back and forth against it rapidly. She felt his free hand snake around her back to come around and cup her other breast, pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it softly as it pebbled upon such stimulation. Her arm rested on his shoulder for some time as their foreplay continued until she reached down to the bottom of his shirt and pulled it upward.
Derek stopped his assault on her nipple, allowing her to relieve him of his t-shirt and fling it over the side of the bed. Right after, he brought his hands down to her hips and lifted her onto his lap so that she was straddling him. He could feel the warmth of her core against the ever growing bulge in his pants. Looking deep into her eyes, his hand slinked down her abdomen past the silky fabric of her nightgown to her panty clad center. Through the lacey material, his thumb sought to find her small bundle of nerves. He knew he had found it when she let out an audible gasp, and with a smirk, he rubbed small circles against it and leaned in to kiss down her neck to her chest once more.
Her body was now burning for him due to his tantalizing teasing gestures. She called out his name as her hands slid down his chest to the waistband of his pants and unbuttoned them, brushing her palm against his hardness gently.
Taking that as his cue, he slid her off his lap and placed her on her back in the middle of the bed. Without taking his eyes off her gorgeous figure, he pulled his pants off and took the liberty of ridding himself of his boxers too. He could see her smiling softly at him with her tousled red hair splayed onto the pillow, and he thought that she couldn’t have looked more beautiful. He climbed back up the bed and pulled her nightgown along with her panties down her legs, leaving them completely exposed to one another.
Addison watched him carefully as he made his way up to lay down beside her. Her lips met his instantly when he leaned down to kiss her again. With her eyes closed, she anticipated his every move, feeling his hand gently brush against her breast again and descend over her flat abdomen to rest between her legs. She parted her legs a little to give him more access and he gladly used that to tease her further. The tips of his fingers slid along her slit, coming up to brush against her clit every so often. A groan escaped her lips when his middle finger moved down to her opening and teased it until she was beginning to get really wet. Her hips lifted from the bed in hopes that Derek would give her what her body was now yearning for.
He smirked as he watched her writhe in desperation and decided to lessen his teasing. He dipped his finger inside her briefly and pulled out, spreading her moisture onto her folds and her protruding bundle of nerves. Deftly, two of his fingers plunged into her warmth, causing her to let out a relieved moan and arch her back. Leaning down, his lips brushed against her jaw, trailing kisses as he pumped his fingers in and out of her occasionally putting pressure on her clit with his thumb.
With all of his previous teasing, it didn’t take much for Addison to be teetering on the edge of an orgasm. Her breaths were coming out sporadically as she gasped for air, pressure building within her and then she suddenly came, her warmth flooding over his fingers and she softly cried out his name.
His fingers slowed and eventually left her core, causing her to shudder as her body continued to ride out the pleasurable ecstasy. Derek smiled down at her as she caught her breath and looked up into his eyes. “I love you, beautiful,” he said softly, brushing his other hand against her cheek.
Through half-lidded eyes, Addison smiled and returned the gesture as she watched him climb over her and settle between her legs. He sat back and let his eyes roam her body. With anyone else, she would have felt extremely uncomfortable, but with Derek, she was finally at home.
He gripped his erection in his hand and guided it along her wet slit, feeling her legs tremble every time the head of his cock brushed against her clit still sensitive from her previous orgasm. Leaning over her body, he slowly pushed himself inside her, causing both of them to gasp and groan at the new and yet familiar sensation. He kept his body still for a moment as he reveled in the feeling of being inside her. It’d been so long since they’d been this intimate where he actually wanted to be like this with her. Derek now couldn’t understand why he’d ever wanted anything else.
Their bodies moved together rhythmically, her hips meeting his with every thrust. Sweat covered their skin as he moved above her, going faster and deeper inside her. Her muscles began to tighten around him as he pushed her closer to another orgasm. Their soft moans filled the room as they were on the brink of ecstasy, and she was the first to climax, calling out his name and digging her nails into his back as she felt her inner walls clench around him. This pushed him over the edge too and he came inside her, whispering her name into her hair as he rode it out, slowly pumping in and out of her.
Finally, Derek collapsed and rolled off of her body, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to slow down his breathing. She turned with a smile and hugged him, feeling his dampened skin underneath her arm. Kissing his chest, Addison lay her head on him, and he gently hugged her to his body. In this position, they fell asleep with so much ahead of them.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
After several hours of sleep, Addison and Derek awoke to find themselves flushed against one another with their limbs entangled. Neither of them had felt so contented in quite a while, and it was amazing to not feel the pressures of their lives towering over them. They were stuck in the moment and that was all that they were concerned with. Deciding that they wanted to just stay up until Christmas morning, they clothed themselves and headed downstairs. Hot chocolate was made and the two of them settled onto the couch, Addison sitting back against his chest with Derek’s arms wrapped comfortingly around her.
The lights of the Christmas tree twinkled, illuminating the walls with reds, greens, and blues. It was the perfect setting for two people so in love and who adored the holiday.
Derek leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder, eliciting a small smile to spread across her lips. “I can’t remember the last time we got to sit like this and stare at the tree,” he murmured softly as he took in her scent.
“It’s been a long time,” she said with a nod before taking a sip of her hot chocolate, “Certainly it didn’t happen last Christmas in Seattle, and even before then it’d been a few years.”
Frowning, he instinctively hugged her a little tighter and pulled her closer to him. “I’m so sorry, Addie,” he whispered gently, knowing that it’d been himself who had chosen to be so absent.
“Honey, it’s okay,” Addison said, turning her head and shifting against him to look into his eyes, “We’ve both made some pretty poor decision, but now we’re fixing it. That’s what counts. Our past is there for us to look upon for good memories and to learn from our mistakes. Our future is what lies ahead.”
He smiled at her attempt at being philosophical, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Derek,” she said, tilting her head back and pressing a fleeting kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Speaking of the future, what exactly do you see ours entailing?”
“Well,” she began, “I haven’t really thought about it much…I know that I can’t bring myself to go back to Seattle permanently.”
Nodding understandingly, he said, “Okay, I guess I’ll move down to LA then.”
“You don’t have to do that. I know how much you love it there,” Addison softly rubbed the back of his hand with her palm.
“Well how else would we make it work?” he wondered with a raised eyebrow.
“I…I don’t know.”
His hand went up and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, “I wouldn’t mind the move. It took us this long to find each other again. I’m not about to put a thousand miles between us and let us drift apart. Seattle doesn’t have much to offer me anymore anyway.”
“Okay,” she nodded, content with his answer, and she snuggled against him again.
Sometime during their conversation, Carolyn had come down the stairs and saw them together. She overheard everything and found herself slowly nodding her head in approval. From there, she could see how happy her son was, like the life had been breathed back into him. He looked as if he was that young man he was nearly a dozen years before, completely smitten over Addison Forbes Montgomery. It took all of these years and this moment for Carolyn to finally realize that no matter how different they were, maybe they really did fit together.
Addison let out a contented sigh. The life ahead of them was full of many unknowns, and they were well aware of the fact that it was going to take some work. Nothing was to be fixed overnight, but they were more prepared to face everything head on now than they ever had been. Life may never turnout the way that the way they expected it to, but it sure knew how to work itself out in the end, and so did they.
Author: satanic_viper
Prompt: "Derek's sister invited some mutual friends (Addison is one of them, of course) over for X'mas dinner and Derek brought Meredith along" from jessica_eliza on the cobra_sss Christmas wishlist
Pairing: Addison/Derek
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Up until the most recent seasons of GA and PP pretty much. But nothing major spoilery.
Summary: The prompt really says it all ;).
A/N: This is by far the longest oneshot that I have ever written; nearly 19 1/2 pages. I hope that you all enjoy the lengthy read. Special thanks goes out to salmon_scrubs for basically coaching me through many parts throughout the story. She was always there to provide some very helpful input and I couldn't have done it without her constant motivation and pushing me to continue. And to Jess, sorry it's a late Christmas gift. It's been a busy and long month, but I hope you like it anyway!
It was nice and refreshing for Addison to be back in New York once again. Though many bad memories remained there, it still felt like home, namely because she had called it her home for so long. There was an overwhelming sense that she belonged here during this time of year. The snow was falling fleetingly to cover the ground in a heavenly white layer. Children played in Central Park having the time of their lives. Most importantly, however, it was here that she had family; not the family that one would expect because she barely considers the Captain and Bizzy anything of the sort. No, her family wasn’t depicted through a conventional lens and it never had.
Nancy had asked her to come back and spend Christmas with all of them, and after weighing her options-to stay in LA and spend the holidays alone or to fly to New York and see the lovely women she’d come to see as her own sisters-the answer seemed pretty simple. Don’t get Addison wrong, though; she did see everyone at the practice as family, but it just wasn’t the same. She had delivered most of the Shepherd litter into the world and Derek’s sisters had been there for her every descending step to the end of their marriage. For now, this was where she belonged during the holidays.
The taxi drove her up the long driveway and she tipped the driver, wishing him a merry Christmas as she got out of the cab and pulled her bags with her. With a deep breath, she walked up the path leading to the large oak doors. She knew better than to knock or ring the doorbell, so she freely opened the door and stepped inside.
As bright as it was outside, light seemingly flooded over the threshold and onto the lawn. Every nook and cranny was illuminated by some source of light. She could already hear the sounds of pattering feet running around on the hardwood floors, the buzz of conversation in the kitchen, and the TV blaring in the living room with the intermittent cheering of men. Smiling, she felt as if it was like every other Christmas she’d spent here.
“Aunt Addie!” came suddenly as a rush of children ran toward her.
She kneeled down just in time for the kids to envelop her in a hug. “Hey guys,” she said smiling brightly and hugging them back, “Let me get a good look at you all.”
“It’s been so long,” one of the little girls said as she let go of Addison and was followed by the others.
“It has…You’ve grown so much, Angie,” Addison said, placing her hand on the cheek of Kathleen’s daughter, “All of you have.”
Nancy entered the room from the kitchen. “Addie, you made it,” she greeted happily, walking to Addison and giving her a hug. After Addison nodded, Nancy addressed the children, “Why don’t you all go play some while I get your Aunt Addie settled upstairs.” The kids awed disappointedly in unison. “I know, I know. It’s been a while, but she’ll be here for a couple of days. You get all of that time with her.”
“Okay,” her boys said and ran off with their cousin Angie to play some more.
“So…” Nancy said turning back to Addison and picking up one of her bags, “How was your flight?”
“It was as good as a plane ride can get I guess,” she said with a small laugh.
The two women settled into a comfortable conversation and headed up the stairs. Nancy led the way to one of the spare bedrooms where Addison would reside for the rest of her stay in New York. It was nice to finally be able to catch up about everything; Addison’s life in L.A., Nancy’s little ones, and everything in between. It felt as if nothing had changed since she left, and she was grateful that one of Derek’s sisters could treat her so well after everything.
“I have a bit of bad news though, Addie,” Nancy said, taking a seat on the bed.
“What? What’s the matter?” Addison wondered, slightly worried. She joined Nancy and sat down onto the edge.
“Oh, it’s nothing serious,” Nancy shrugged, “It’s just…Mom thought it would be nice to invite Derek back for the holidays. I honestly thought that he wouldn’t decide to come, but…he and the slutty intern are on their way.” She bit on her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows as she tried to gauge Addison’s reaction.
The redhead stared at her blankly for a few seconds, trying to wrap her mind around having to spend Christmas, what used to be their holiday, with Derek and Meredith. Finally, she nodded and said, “Okay. I don’t have a problem with this.”
Nancy could hear the weariness in her voice, “I’m sorry, Addie. I really didn’t know Mom had asked him until after the fact.”
“No, it’s fine. He’s moved on with his life. I’ve moved on with mine. It’ll be fine,” she stated, although she only half believed it herself.
“Okay,” Nancy said reluctantly, “But just let me know. I can make the slutty intern stay at least ten feet away from you.”
Addison laughed and shook her head, “I don’t think that’ll be necessary…but I’ll let you know if we get to that point.”
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
The friendly conversations about work, cars, and the like in the living room were interrupted when a familiar voice came from the front door, “Guess who’s here!”
Derek suddenly appeared at the threshold separating the foyer from the living room, beaming happily at everyone. All of the children sprang up at once and ran toward the entrance merrily. “Uncle Derek!” they yelled and tackled him, a greeting they had seemed to adopt for everyone. They hugged his legs tightly with smiles on their faces.
“Hey you little rascals,” Derek said, putting his hands on the top of some of his nephews’ heads and messing up their hair which received some disgruntled looks from them. With his famous grin, he looked up at everyone else and greeted them. Meredith sheepishly stood behind him, feeling a bit uncomfortable being there with him. She was never comfortable with the thought that Derek had had another life before her, another life before Seattle and that she didn’t know that part of him. Being in the presence of all of these people that was a part of that previous life didn’t help her feel any better about the fact.
He turned around to find her standing there quietly and with a sympathetic smile, he held out his hand for her to take. “Everyone, this is Meredith,” he introduced after she’d stepped forward.
“Hi Meredith,” they all chorally said in unison, but only one voice caught Derek’s attention and he had to do a slight double take. His eyes landed on the redhead that he hadn’t noticed upon arrival. “Addie…” he said, releasing Meredith’s hand.
“Hello Derek,” Addison said with a small smile from her seat in one of the arm chairs.
Everyone else in the room seemed to shift a bit uncomfortably and glance to one another, not knowing what to do or say to cut the tension in the room. Meredith, who had thought she couldn’t feel more awkward there, got to a new level of discomfort. She felt like she was going to be sick. This competition between herself and Addison seemed to never end, and she felt like she always had to prove to everyone that she was good enough for Derek. She had known that it was going to be hard enough to win the hearts of his whole family, but now she was faced with Addison, a woman whom they have known much longer and obviously still love since she was here and all.
After several moments that felt like an eternity as they were in a standstill in this awkward situation, Nancy decided to step in, “Derek, Meredith, why don’t I show you two to your room.”
Derek gladly accepted the offer for reprieve from this as he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that his ex-wife and his current wife was in the same house about to celebrate Christmas with his family. He nodded and placed his hand on the small of Meredith’s back, ushering her to follow Nancy up the stairs as he grabbed their bags.
Addison let out a long sigh as she watched them disappear up the stairs. All of the eyes that were now on her made her feel uneasy so she stood and excused herself, walking into the kitchen. The escape she sought, however, was nonexistent because the person she was faced with was probably the one person-apart from maybe Meredith-that didn’t want her there the most; Derek’s mother.
Putting on a polite smile, she said, “Hello,” to the woman she once called her mother-in-law. She took a seat on one of the barstools, “Um, Derek just got here. Nancy’s getting them settled upstairs.”
“Good,” Carolyn nodded as she continued to busy herself with things around the kitchen.
Sighing, Addison let her head hang low before Carolyn decided to address her again, “Why is it that you’re here, Addison?”
“Excuse me?” she wondered, getting caught slightly off guard by that remark.
The older woman set the towel she was holding onto the countertop. “Why are you here? I thought I had heard from my girls that you’d moved to LA and started a new life out there.”
“I did. I just thought…it would be nice to be with my family back here again.”
“Look, Addison, I’ve held my tongue for years because Derek loved you, but now I’m going to be frank with you.” Addison gave her a nod to continue, completely expecting the worst. “You’re a sweet girl,” Carolyn began, “But you were never fit for my son. You don’t fully know what he’s about or understand where this family comes from. That was made obvious when you slept with his best friend. I know my girls love you and think of you as if you were one of them, but it’s time you move on. Let Derek go.”
Addison had to muster everything that was within her not to show how enraged she was beginning to feel by what Carolyn was saying. She was basically slapping her in the face with her offhanded comments while still trying to put up this sweet exterior.
“Mrs. Shepherd,” she said, the title she’d given her now that ‘mom’ wasn’t to suffice anymore, “I have moved on with my life. I have a practice that I’m absolutely ecstatic about on most days. I have friends there, new and old, who really have become another family to me.”
“That still begs the question why you decided to come here,” Carolyn reiterated, “If you have this life in Los Angeles, why spend the holidays here?”
“I came here because Nancy asked me to, because I thought it would be a way to make my peace with everyone. Not once did my intentions drift to Derek. God, I didn’t even know he was going to be here, and maybe if I had known, I wouldn’t have come,” Addison paused and tried to calm herself. It wasn’t going to help anything if she was too emotional about this, “But I am here now and so are he and Meredith. I have no intentions to sabotage this celebration, so I would hope that we could push past any of the feelings we hold for one another and let everyone enjoy the holiday.”
Although Carolyn was still skeptical about everything, her ex-daughter-in-law did have a point. Family always came first before anything in her eyes, and Christmas was not going to be ruined over pettiness, not on her account at the very least. She gave Addison a soft smile and nodded, “I think we can manage that.”
Addison smiled back and took that as her cue to leave, getting up to exit the kitchen area. Carolyn soon followed but only to head upstairs to see her one and only son.
On the way up, she passed by Nancy who informed her that the couple were still up in their room getting settled in. Upon getting to the door, Carolyn was about to knock when she heard their slightly raised voices and decided to wait a bit longer before entering. She was going to head to her room for a bit, however, it was hard to walk away and not to listen in on the conversation.
“What is she doing here, Derek?” Meredith yelled her frustrations. She had thought that this was going to be their perfect Christmas and for once she could enjoy the holiday. Who better to enjoy it with than with her husband and his family, but not anymore. Addison was here to crush everything once again.
He sighed and sat down on the bed, “I don’t know.”
“Well, did you know that she was coming?”
“No, I didn’t,” Derek replied feeling a little annoyed with the whole situation. Meredith was making too big a deal of this, “Even if I did, would that have changed anything?”
Meredith couldn’t believe the way he was acting so nonchalant as if this hadn’t ruined everything, “Yes! We would have just stayed in Seattle.”
“Do you really mean to tell me that because of one single person, you wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with my family?” he raised his eyebrow.
“Derek, that isn’t what I said. You just don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand!” he raised his voice.
“It’s…It’s Addison. I just don’t get what she’s doing here. Shouldn’t she be running along the beach in California or something? Why does she have to ruin this for us?” she paced back and forth across the room.
“I don’t think that is why she’s here, Mer. You seem to be forgetting the fact that she’s my ex-wife-”
“Oh trust me,” she interrupted, turning to Derek and pointing her finger, “That is a fact that I know very well.”
“Well, then you’re failing to see that because she’s my ex-wife, she’s been with my family at these kinds of things for eleven years. Hell, she was probably here more often than I was during that time because I was so absent. I surely wouldn’t want her to stop coming just because of how things turned out between us. She’s loved by my nieces and nephews; she delivered at least half of them. Addison has as much of a right to be here as you or I.”
Meredith shook her head, “You still don’t get it.”
“I don’t know what there is to get, so can we just make the most of it?” Derek pleaded softly, “Christmas is only days away, and I don’t want to be bickering the whole time.”
“Yeah…but not right now. I just need to be by myself for a while. You go on ahead. I need to wrap my mind around all of this before I can be with your family and her right now.”
He couldn’t believe how ridiculous she was being about all of this. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t seen Addison since the divorce. It was proven time and time again that they could all be civil toward one another and sometimes even friends. Getting up from his spot on the bed, he finally said, “Fine, suit yourself.”
Before Derek exited the room, Carolyn ducked into another one of Nancy’s spare rooms so as not to get caught eavesdropping. She heard Derek leave and shut the door behind him, listening to his footsteps descend down the stairs again. Standing there for a moment in silence, she mulled over what she’d just witnessed. Maybe her first instincts about Meredith hadn’t been as spot on as she had thought they were. She left her thoughts there and went back downstairs to rejoin her family.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
Switching from lying on his stomach, then to his back and finally to his side, Derek still couldn’t fall asleep. There wasn’t a position he could get into that would make him comfortable enough that he could block out the loud sounds of Meredith snoring. He’d always strongly disliked having to leave her in the middle of the night to get some sleep, but being a surgeon, he couldn’t afford to have any less sleep than was possible. Functioning at any level that wasn’t his best was never an option, even if that meant leaving his girlfriend or wife in the middle of the night.
Even though he was on vacation, it was ideal to get even more rest than usual. He let out a sigh and looked over at her sleeping form. Her mouth was slightly open as her chest heaved up and down. Quietly, Derek got up and grabbed his pillow to stealthily slip out the door.
On his way down the hall to head downstairs, he noticed light coming from underneath the door to Addison’s room. Figuring it’d be nice to have some company in his inability to sleep, Derek knocked gently on the door before he peeked his head inside.
“Hey,” Addison greeted with a bright smile, looking over the rim of her ruby-colored glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.
Derek fully entered the room and walked toward her bed, “Doing some late night reading?”
“Yeah,” she said, holding her book up briefly to show him the cover, “It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to read for pleasure. What’re you doing up?”
“Couldn’t sleep. I forgot to pack my ear plugs and Meredith’s snoring is keeping me awake.”
She tired her best to suppress a smile but ended up letting out a small laugh, “Oh…Sorry, it’s not that funny.” Clearing her throat, she tried to recompose herself.
He tried to give her an incredulous look as he took a seat facing her on her bed, but he couldn’t keep himself from chuckling a bit either, “No, it isn’t funny, but it does sound a little ridiculous.” That infamous McDreamy grin graced his face as his eyes seemed to sparkle from the light of the lamp.
“I just never knew the ‘golden couple’ ever had such problems.”
“We’re not the golden couple,” Derek shook his head.
Rolling her eyes slightly, Addison set her book on the bedside table and said, “Well, your mother seems to think so at least. She hates that I’m here by the way; even gave me a whole lecture about why I shouldn’t have come.”
He let out a sigh and added, “Meredith wasn’t exactly thrilled either-if that wasn’t made obvious today. We had our own little yelling match right after we got here.
A twinge of guilt shone on her face before she looked down and apologized, “I’m sorry, Derek.”
“Don’t be,” he responded quickly, “If they don’t like that you’re here, that’s a personal issue that they have to deal with, not you.” Pausing, he reached out and placed a hand on her knee through the comforter, “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you came.”
She looked up, her face brightening significantly, “Really?”
“Yeah, it would have been weird without you here, Addie. It’s like I told Meredith, you have every right to be here too.”
Addison gave him a sincere smile and quietly thanked him. The two of them fell into a comfortable silence, gazing over each other’s features as they sat across from one another. For whatever reason, it didn’t feel weird at all. It just felt like old times, like old friends catching up or just quietly hanging out. Every so often, however, there was a twinkle of what they used to be in their demeanor and they both felt it, but neither wanted to admit it.
In all of the silence and thought, a memory suddenly came to her, causing Addison to laugh, “Do you remember that Christmas that Kathleen went into labor with Turner?”
Derek let out a chuckle, “How could I forget? Everyone was running around as if the whole world was about to end…”
“And, they were pushing me and Kathleen out the door so that we could get to the hospital. Then there was the whole debacle with the cars.”
His mouth dropped slightly as he recalled that particular part of the night and it dawned on him, “Her husband was so consumed with what they had planned and practiced, that he insisted that they take their car. That of course meant that everyone parked behind them would have to move their cars so that they could get out…”
“Mom was directing everyone and trying to strategically plan who needed to move what car…”
“It never occurred to anyone to just hop in the outermost car until you said something.”
Addison and Derek laughed together as the events replayed vividly in their minds. Only someone on the outside would have noticed how many times they had finished each other’s sentences and thoughts. Neither of them did, nor did they notice that she’d referred to Carolyn as ‘mom’ again. All of this, like performing surgery, was second nature to them.
Glancing at the clock, he noticed that it was getting fairly late. “We should get some sleep soon, Add. We’re on vacation; staying up until all hours of the night isn’t acceptable.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, “What are you going to do about the snoring?”
“Well, I-” Derek started as he was about to tell her about his original plan of getting acquainted with a couch downstairs, but he soon changed his mind, “Would it be alright if I slept here?”
She cocked an eyebrow at him, “Here?”
“Yeah,” he answered quickly before she could set her mind on declining, “I’d be out of here and back in my room by three or four before Meredith wakes up. Trust me, Addie, I’ve had to sneak in and out before.”
“Okay…” Addison conceded despite her initial inhibitions and her better judgment, “But you keep to your side of the bed.
He felt like they were teenagers again and thought it a little ridiculous but he agreed, “Deal.”
Sliding over, she made room for him so that he could slip into bed. They both got settled under the covers and she turned off the lamp. Lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling, he turned his head to look at her and said, “Goodnight, Addie.”
“G’night, Derek,” she said with a quick glance in his direction, and the peaceful quietness soon sent them into a state of slumber.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
The next morning, Addison awoke to the feeling of the mattress shifting beside her. Thinking that it was just Derek getting up to leave, she mentally shrugged it off, but turned to say goodbye to him until later. Instead of finding her ex-husband on the other side of the bed, her eyes were met with a different pair of bright blue ones.
“Good morning, Aunt Addie,” Angie grinned toothily. She had crawled up the bed underneath the covers to lie next to Addison.
“Hey sweetie,” she said tiredly back, suppressing a yawn.
Derek’s niece looked up at her with bright questioning eyes, “Mommy and Aunt Nancy told me to come wake you up for breakfast.” As Addison was nodding with her eyes half closed, the little girl asked a little excitedly, “Are you married to Uncle Derek again?”
Confused, she squinted her eyes, “Wha-” It was then that she looked past Angie and noticed that behind her was Derek still fast asleep with his back toward her. She glanced at the clock behind her which read seven o’clock and whispered, “Shit.”
“You are, aren’t you?”
Addison turned back to Angie really quickly, “No no no. We’re not…”
“But you are!” the four year old said before she scurried from underneath the comforter and headed to the door.
“No, don’t tell…” she began before Angie was already out the door, “anyone that.” With a groan, she semi-angrily pulled her pillow from underneath her head and swung it over, hitting Derek square on the back.
“What? What happened?” he jumped, barely being able to take in his surroundings.
“You never left!” Addison hissed.
Thinking it was too early in the morning for a girl flip out, he asked again, “What?”
“You never left to go back to bed with Meredith!” she answered, trying to spell it out for him. “Angie came in here and saw us. Now she thinks we’re back together. You get back to bed with Meredith before she wakes up while I go do damage control before Angie tells anybody.” Even though nothing happened, she could only imagine what everyone else would think or say.
Derek was finally coming to and he was letting her words sink in. This could definitely turn out very bad. “Right,” he said with a nod, pulling the covers off of himself and getting up.
“Hurry!” She didn’t have to say much else to get him out the door and heading down the hall. Pulling on the robe she’d packed, Addison let out a sigh. Already she knew it was going to be a very long day. She only hoped that all of this didn’t lead to any more hatred toward her, if that was even possible. All set to chase down a four year old and keep her from leaking a single word, she was prepared to tackle whatever the day would bring.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
The day had gone better than Addison had initially thought. After she’d caught up with Angie and explained to her everything on the most elementary level-she had told her that she and Derek were merely having a sleepover-the four year old was content to keep the secret and went on her way. A burden was swiftly taken off her shoulders at that moment and helped her to move on with everything that the day had to offer.
She had always enjoyed spending time with Derek’s sisters. From the day he first brought her home to meet all of them to the present day after their divorce, his sisters made her feel like she belonged. They laughed about past memories of family gatherings, of Derek’s adventures when he was a kid. It was like nothing had changed. It was only when Meredith came into the room that they were quickly brought back to reality and the gravity of all that had happened since those blissful times.
As hard as it was for her, Addison did her best to try and include Meredith in their conversation because she could only imagine how awkward it was for her. It didn’t help that Derek’s sisters would have none of it though and gave the frail blonde the toughest time. In trying to balance everyone’s personalities and opinions, she quickly became exhausted. The night had come and she was back in bed, trying to read her book but her mind kept wandering elsewhere.
Being a thousand miles away from Derek, it was easy to put him in that tiny little box that she’d created for him. She could live her life in sunny California and not think about everything that had brought her to that point, but they were here in New York together and she was reminded of every great thing that they had had going for them. Watching him smile and laugh, talking to his sisters about those memories in their distant past, it made her wonder how different things could have been had they both made different choices, how much happier they could have been.
Her thoughts were interrupted when a knock came at the door and Derek appeared briefly thereafter. “Hello again,” he smiled.
“Hi,” came Addison’s meek reply.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Derek asked, making his way over to her bed and settling down onto it, concern filling his eyes.
She shook her head, “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Addie…I can tell something’s bothering you.”
“I know,” she said as she nodded, “But it isn’t anything to be worried about, really.”
Derek was well aware that it was more than what she was letting on but he knew better than to try and force her to talk when she didn’t want to. Addison always opened up when she was well and ready, so he shrugged it off and hoped that she really was okay.
It was only a brief moment of silence before she decided to change the topic, partly to get her mind off of things, “So this morning was interesting to say the least.”
He winced, “Yeah, I’m sorry about that, Add. I don’t know how that happened. Usually, my body gets me up early to head back to bed with her on its own accord.”
“Well next time, which there shouldn’t be a next time, you get to do damage control,” she said, glaring at him in a joking manner, “You try explaining to a four year old that divorced couples sometimes like to have sleepovers.”
“Is that what you told her?” Derek laughed.
“Yes, what else could I have told her?” she raised an eyebrow and threw a pillow at him, “She was ready to tell the world that her Aunt Addie and Uncle Derek were married again.”
Still laughing, he caught the pillow and set it beside her at the head of the bed. He lay down onto his side to face her and got comfortable, “You could have come up with a better lie than that.”
“It was early. Besides, I didn’t see you trying to help.”
“It may have been early, but I do recall a certain grumbly redhead ordering me to go elsewhere,” he countered, which gave her nothing to retort back with.
Addison rolled her eyes at his smug grin, “Well, I guess it was better than that time Nathan walked in on us actually in the throes…What is it with your nieces and nephews having a knack for busting in at the most inopportune times?”
“And interns,” he added, recalling the countless times during their residencies that interns would stumble upon their escapades in an on call room or supply closet.
She nodded in agreement, “Interns too, which was always your fault by the way.”
“My fault?”
“You were always the one leaving doors unlocked.”
“Well sorry if I was busy having sex with my hot wife,” Derek retorted, “You could have easily locked the doors too, you know.”
Turning, she placed her book on the bedside table and scooted herself down until she was situated under the covers, “It’s not customary for a lady to do that.”
“Who says?” he wondered incredulously.
“I do,” was her definitive answer.
“You’re just saying that to win the argument,” he smirked.
“Shut up, Derek.” Addison said softly.
He let out a chuckle and took a moment to ponder where to take the conversation after he so triumphantly won their debate, “So what do you miss most about us…while we were in the throes as you so eloquently put before?”
“Are you asking me what I miss about our sex life?” she asked, feeling a little shocked.
With innocent eyes, he answered, “Yes.”
“I am so not having that conversation with you,” she shook her head.
“C’mon, Addie,” he prodded, “It’s all in good fun. We are reminiscing after all.”
“Not about that.”
“I’ll even start…”
“I’m not listening,” Addison said as she tried to turn away from him and feign that she was going to sleep.
Derek gently put his hand on her shoulder and turned her back to look at him. The two bantered into the night about various things and eventually fell asleep during one of the brief pauses between topics. Through the night, they ended up cuddled against one another, his arm draped across her waist. It was a sight to see, especially for Meredith who’d woken up in the middle of the night and went looking for him.
She hadn’t found him downstairs, and she really didn’t want to believe that he would be with Addison, but something told her to look anyway and her gut had been right. With a heavy feeling in her chest, she let them be and went back to the room that he was supposed to be staying in with her. Meredith lay down on her side in bed again, her eyes wide open as negative thoughts swam through her head keeping her awake. When he snuck back in early the next morning, she pretended to be asleep although she would have loved to throw some things and yell or scream some choice words that’d been running through her mind over and over like a broken record. She just bit it all back; it would have to wait till later.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
Christmas Eve at the Shepherds’ always consisted of the same things. They cooked and ate all day while the children played their games. At night, they sat around the living room and enjoyed the warmth of the fire in the fireplace as they carried on with their conversations. It felt just like every other Christmas Eve with everyone excited for the morning of family and presents. There was just one small difference this year, however.
“I know it’s getting late, so I’d like to make a toast before people start heading off to bed,” Nancy’s husband Jonathan began and lifted up his glass of eggnog, “I’d like to thank everyone for being here and celebrating this wonderful holiday with us. Every year, it’s a pleasure to spend time with some amazing people. Here’s to another merry Christmas!”
As everyone drank their eggnog, Meredith emerged from the kitchen where she’d ducked into for sometime without anyone noticing. “I have something to say too,” she said, her words coming out slowly as a result of her state of inebriation. “I would like to thank everyone for giving me Christmas just like all of the Christmases that I’ve had; really, really…bad and crappy.”
The eyes around the room widened slightly and Derek stepped forward, saying her name to try and get her to stop but she was ready to go on a roll.
“Thanks to Addison for being her usual, tall and brilliant self…loved by everyone including Derek who feels compelled to share a bed with her at night.” There was a brief pause where they all glanced back and forth from Derek to Addison wearing guilty faces before she continued to speak, “Everyone loves Addison and knows Addison, but no one knows me. And I’m his wife now…not her.”
“And you,” she continued with her outstretched arm, pointing her finger around the room to the Shepherd girls, “His exclusive sisters deliberately leaving me out of conversations and making me feel about this small.” Her hand rose up and holding her thumb and index finger a mere inch apart, she made her point as she rocked back on her heels struggling for some balance.
Carolyn looked on in shock like everyone else, shaking her head in disbelief. Her read on Meredith had proven to be very wrong now, and all she had the energy for was to look on disapprovingly.
Before this got anymore out of hand than it’d already had, Derek made his way over to Meredith and grabbed her arm, “I think we need to leave for a while.”
She struggled and protested, but eventually he got her coat on and they were out the door. Their trek down the driveway was made in silence until he finally let go of her and asked, “What the heck were you doing in there?”
“What the heck are you doing?” Meredith yelled, flinging her arm at him, “Why are you sleeping with Addison?”
“I didn’t sleep with Addison…Okay, I slept in the same bed as her but I didn’t sleep with her,” he retorted as they continued walking along the sidewalk.
“It’s practically the same thing.”
Derek shook his head and ran his fingers over his forehead before sticking his hands in his pockets, “Those things you said in there…”
“Are the truth!” she finished for him, “They all hate me.”
“Well after that speech, yeah,” he scoffed.
Letting out a sigh, the cold highlighted her breath through the air, “I don’t belong here.”
“Meredith, don’t say that.”
“It’s true, Derek. Your sisters make a point of making sure I know that fact every day that we’ve been here.”
“So what are you saying?” Derek wondered, stopping their path down the sidewalk and turning to look at her.
She looked over at him and shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know…Do you love me? Do you love her?”
“I…” he paused as his mind flashed through everything that had happened over the past couple of days since they’d gotten to New York, “I never realized how much I missed all of this until now. I miss my family and all of the memories that we’ve talked about. A lot was left behind when I moved to Seattle.”
“That’s the problem,” she nodded, “I’m not a part of any of that…but she is.” By now her drunken haze had dissipated slightly and her mind could wrap around where this was headed.
“I didn’t see this coming at all when we’d decided to spend the holidays with my family,” he said frowning slightly, “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”
“I know, Derek. You’ve never been that guy.”
Derek looked at her sadly and apologized, “I’m sorry, Meredith. I’ve put you all through so much.”
“It’s okay,” she said, placing a hand on his arm, “Maybe this has always been how it was supposed to end.”
“I guess…”
Letting out a sigh, Meredith said, “Well, take me back to the house. I’ll just grab my bags and call for a taxi. I have a friend from Columbia I can probably crash with.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, feeling badly.
“Yeah, I can’t stay here anymore after tonight.”
“Okay,” he nodded. They embraced in a hug, holding each other close in the cold. What they had was really ending there once and for all.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
Standing outside Addison’s bedroom door, Derek tried to figure out what it was that he was going to tell her. He had no idea how to explain to her what had happened over the past couple of days that had helped him come to realize that she was still the one he felt most comfortable with. He couldn’t even say for sure that she felt the same way about him. With an unsteady hand, he turned the knob and opened the door without knocking.
“Hey Addie,” he said, finding that she was sitting on the bed hugging her knees without her book tonight.
“Hey, how’d everything go?” she asked, her voice sounding very weak.
He shrugged his shoulders in a gesture of defeat, looking down at the ground, “Meredith and I broke things off.”
“What?” Addison asked surprised, “Over what happened tonight? That seems a little over the top.”
Lifting his head up to look at her, he made his way over to the bed and sat down with his back against the headboard. “Well, it was tonight and an accumulation of other things,” Derek said softly, not quite looking at her anymore.
“What other things?”
“Just things that have happened while we were here,” he still couldn’t find the words to tell her just yet. There was a slight pause before he spoke again, “How were things back here? I’m sorry I left you to do damage control again.”
She let out a small laugh, “It went fine. It just took a bit to explain the whole having shared a bed the last couple of nights. Your sisters seemed to enjoy it. Your mom, maybe not so much.”
“I can only imagine,” Derek chuckled slightly.
“So with Meredith,” Addison said seemingly a little nervous, “What about your marriage and all?”
“Our marriage? Well, I guess if we can get married on a post-it note, I can divorce her on one too,” he joked, turning to her with a grin.
She let out a genuine laugh and shook her head, “We all sure do act like we have everything figured out…”
“When we haven’t got a clue.”
Addison looked at him, her eyes soft and he could see all of the weariness that lay there. Reaching over, Derek gently ran his hand down her arm and grasped her hand in his giving it a reassuring squeeze. They’d been through so much already, and he knew by saying what had been playing in his mind since ending things with Meredith he was going to drag them through another bout of difficult times. He couldn’t not say anything, however, and wonder for the rest of his life about the what if’s.
“Did you feel it too,” he blurted out suddenly, “These past couple of nights?”
“Feel what exactly?” she asked skeptically, causing his heart to drop a little in his chest.
Letting out a sigh, he glanced down at their joined hands. “The reason why I so easily broke it off with Meredith was because…because over the past couple of days, you and my family have shown me everything that I’ve missed out on. I’ve missed this, but more importantly I’ve missed you…us,” he said, lifting his gaze to meet hers in a gentle plea for her to say the same.
“I’ve missed this too,” Addison sadly said, “But all of this is what once was; it’s not who we are now.”
“Does it really have to be that way? Addie, I…I still love you. Spending these nights with you has finally opened my eyes.”
She shook her head, “Please, don’t say that, Derek. It’s been hard enough trying to get over you. I can’t bear to do it all again.” Tears welled up in her eyes, her heart wanting so badly to give in to him. Whenever she allowed herself to imagine a moment such as this, she never dreamed of saying no, but now that the opportunity presented itself, her fears got the best of her.
He let go of her hand only to lift it up and cup her cheek, forcing her to look at him. The sad expression he found there broke his heart to witness, “I know that I’ve put you through hell and in some ways, I may have broken you. But I know now that I never stopped loving you, and it took being here to remind me of how great we can be. I’ve never truly felt that with Meredith.”
Pausing, Derek could see her walls slowly begin to crumble with each of his reassurances, so he continued, “As much as I may not deserve it, I’m asking for one more chance, Add, to do it right this time. If there’s any part of you that still loves me, say yes and I promise to treat you well and put the pieces of us back together.”
The corners of her mouth lifted slightly in a sad smile and she nodded, “Third time’s the charm, I guess.”
His face broke into a grin, feeling thankful for yet another chance to be with the one woman he’s always loved most. Bringing his hand to the back of her neck with his fingers threading through her hair, Derek pulled her in closer toward him, his eyes glancing down at her inviting lips. He looked back up just long enough to see her eyes slowly flutter close before he went the rest of the way, pressing his lips against hers.
After several open mouthed kisses, Addison parted her lips and let her tongue snake around in search of his. As they dueled against each other, she lifted herself off the headboard to bring her hands to rest on his shoulders, running one down his arm. He let his fingers brush against the bare skin at her shoulder blades, caressing her smoothness around the straps of her gown before lifting them and sliding them down her shoulders. Once her arms were out of them, the material pooled down at her waist and exposed her bare chest to him.
He broke their kiss and smiled at her, glancing down at her half nakedness. Sitting back on his legs beside her, he let his eyes follow his hand as it ran across her chest and slipped down, cupping a breast. He kneaded it softly and watched as her eyes close again and her head fell back, before bringing his hand to her other breast. Derek bent down and slowly flicked his tongue against her left nipple, remembering that it was most sensitive.
She whimpered softly when he held her breast firmly in his hand and encased her already hard nipple in his mouth, running the tip of his tongue back and forth against it rapidly. She felt his free hand snake around her back to come around and cup her other breast, pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it softly as it pebbled upon such stimulation. Her arm rested on his shoulder for some time as their foreplay continued until she reached down to the bottom of his shirt and pulled it upward.
Derek stopped his assault on her nipple, allowing her to relieve him of his t-shirt and fling it over the side of the bed. Right after, he brought his hands down to her hips and lifted her onto his lap so that she was straddling him. He could feel the warmth of her core against the ever growing bulge in his pants. Looking deep into her eyes, his hand slinked down her abdomen past the silky fabric of her nightgown to her panty clad center. Through the lacey material, his thumb sought to find her small bundle of nerves. He knew he had found it when she let out an audible gasp, and with a smirk, he rubbed small circles against it and leaned in to kiss down her neck to her chest once more.
Her body was now burning for him due to his tantalizing teasing gestures. She called out his name as her hands slid down his chest to the waistband of his pants and unbuttoned them, brushing her palm against his hardness gently.
Taking that as his cue, he slid her off his lap and placed her on her back in the middle of the bed. Without taking his eyes off her gorgeous figure, he pulled his pants off and took the liberty of ridding himself of his boxers too. He could see her smiling softly at him with her tousled red hair splayed onto the pillow, and he thought that she couldn’t have looked more beautiful. He climbed back up the bed and pulled her nightgown along with her panties down her legs, leaving them completely exposed to one another.
Addison watched him carefully as he made his way up to lay down beside her. Her lips met his instantly when he leaned down to kiss her again. With her eyes closed, she anticipated his every move, feeling his hand gently brush against her breast again and descend over her flat abdomen to rest between her legs. She parted her legs a little to give him more access and he gladly used that to tease her further. The tips of his fingers slid along her slit, coming up to brush against her clit every so often. A groan escaped her lips when his middle finger moved down to her opening and teased it until she was beginning to get really wet. Her hips lifted from the bed in hopes that Derek would give her what her body was now yearning for.
He smirked as he watched her writhe in desperation and decided to lessen his teasing. He dipped his finger inside her briefly and pulled out, spreading her moisture onto her folds and her protruding bundle of nerves. Deftly, two of his fingers plunged into her warmth, causing her to let out a relieved moan and arch her back. Leaning down, his lips brushed against her jaw, trailing kisses as he pumped his fingers in and out of her occasionally putting pressure on her clit with his thumb.
With all of his previous teasing, it didn’t take much for Addison to be teetering on the edge of an orgasm. Her breaths were coming out sporadically as she gasped for air, pressure building within her and then she suddenly came, her warmth flooding over his fingers and she softly cried out his name.
His fingers slowed and eventually left her core, causing her to shudder as her body continued to ride out the pleasurable ecstasy. Derek smiled down at her as she caught her breath and looked up into his eyes. “I love you, beautiful,” he said softly, brushing his other hand against her cheek.
Through half-lidded eyes, Addison smiled and returned the gesture as she watched him climb over her and settle between her legs. He sat back and let his eyes roam her body. With anyone else, she would have felt extremely uncomfortable, but with Derek, she was finally at home.
He gripped his erection in his hand and guided it along her wet slit, feeling her legs tremble every time the head of his cock brushed against her clit still sensitive from her previous orgasm. Leaning over her body, he slowly pushed himself inside her, causing both of them to gasp and groan at the new and yet familiar sensation. He kept his body still for a moment as he reveled in the feeling of being inside her. It’d been so long since they’d been this intimate where he actually wanted to be like this with her. Derek now couldn’t understand why he’d ever wanted anything else.
Their bodies moved together rhythmically, her hips meeting his with every thrust. Sweat covered their skin as he moved above her, going faster and deeper inside her. Her muscles began to tighten around him as he pushed her closer to another orgasm. Their soft moans filled the room as they were on the brink of ecstasy, and she was the first to climax, calling out his name and digging her nails into his back as she felt her inner walls clench around him. This pushed him over the edge too and he came inside her, whispering her name into her hair as he rode it out, slowly pumping in and out of her.
Finally, Derek collapsed and rolled off of her body, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to slow down his breathing. She turned with a smile and hugged him, feeling his dampened skin underneath her arm. Kissing his chest, Addison lay her head on him, and he gently hugged her to his body. In this position, they fell asleep with so much ahead of them.
~xXxXxXxXxXx~
After several hours of sleep, Addison and Derek awoke to find themselves flushed against one another with their limbs entangled. Neither of them had felt so contented in quite a while, and it was amazing to not feel the pressures of their lives towering over them. They were stuck in the moment and that was all that they were concerned with. Deciding that they wanted to just stay up until Christmas morning, they clothed themselves and headed downstairs. Hot chocolate was made and the two of them settled onto the couch, Addison sitting back against his chest with Derek’s arms wrapped comfortingly around her.
The lights of the Christmas tree twinkled, illuminating the walls with reds, greens, and blues. It was the perfect setting for two people so in love and who adored the holiday.
Derek leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder, eliciting a small smile to spread across her lips. “I can’t remember the last time we got to sit like this and stare at the tree,” he murmured softly as he took in her scent.
“It’s been a long time,” she said with a nod before taking a sip of her hot chocolate, “Certainly it didn’t happen last Christmas in Seattle, and even before then it’d been a few years.”
Frowning, he instinctively hugged her a little tighter and pulled her closer to him. “I’m so sorry, Addie,” he whispered gently, knowing that it’d been himself who had chosen to be so absent.
“Honey, it’s okay,” Addison said, turning her head and shifting against him to look into his eyes, “We’ve both made some pretty poor decision, but now we’re fixing it. That’s what counts. Our past is there for us to look upon for good memories and to learn from our mistakes. Our future is what lies ahead.”
He smiled at her attempt at being philosophical, “I love you.”
“I love you too, Derek,” she said, tilting her head back and pressing a fleeting kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“Speaking of the future, what exactly do you see ours entailing?”
“Well,” she began, “I haven’t really thought about it much…I know that I can’t bring myself to go back to Seattle permanently.”
Nodding understandingly, he said, “Okay, I guess I’ll move down to LA then.”
“You don’t have to do that. I know how much you love it there,” Addison softly rubbed the back of his hand with her palm.
“Well how else would we make it work?” he wondered with a raised eyebrow.
“I…I don’t know.”
His hand went up and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, “I wouldn’t mind the move. It took us this long to find each other again. I’m not about to put a thousand miles between us and let us drift apart. Seattle doesn’t have much to offer me anymore anyway.”
“Okay,” she nodded, content with his answer, and she snuggled against him again.
Sometime during their conversation, Carolyn had come down the stairs and saw them together. She overheard everything and found herself slowly nodding her head in approval. From there, she could see how happy her son was, like the life had been breathed back into him. He looked as if he was that young man he was nearly a dozen years before, completely smitten over Addison Forbes Montgomery. It took all of these years and this moment for Carolyn to finally realize that no matter how different they were, maybe they really did fit together.
Addison let out a contented sigh. The life ahead of them was full of many unknowns, and they were well aware of the fact that it was going to take some work. Nothing was to be fixed overnight, but they were more prepared to face everything head on now than they ever had been. Life may never turnout the way that the way they expected it to, but it sure knew how to work itself out in the end, and so did they.