Comming Undone
Well im going to just start this off, no idea where its going , but it will be interesting .
I've started to feel more and more alone as of late, i've been making new friends and catching up with old ones......and its been great , but still lacking something.
Maybe im just having an emo fit, maybe all the years of pot smoking have finally rotted my brian and i'm slowly falling into a complete psychotic episode, i dunno..... I dont know a lot anymore, i'm ususally a quite balanced person, able to give advice...but rarely take it ...
I fell in love with a friend who turned round and started dating someone else, then pointed out how it "was never anything serious"...now theres a knife to the heart if i've ever had one, am i deluded? do i walk around with rose tinted glasses on? This is whats made me wonder what im doing with my life. I almost had to move out my flat because my old job was barely paying the rent and i was constantly exhausted both mentally and physically, now i have a new job tho ,s o least thats looking up ...
I want to just close everyone out , say fuck it all, goodbye and thanks for the memories , but im afraid of losing those i hold dear to me, that and i'll just end up even more bitter and cynical than i am now.
This isn't a pleasant place to be, i've far too much time to over think things lately, a mate once said that i should stop thinking about others so much and think about myself more, that i shouldn't waste energy on people who dont deserve my time, and their right .. i guess i just had to have a rant on ye olde LJ to help that one sink in.
To all my friends who ARE there for me, i love you guys!! (^_^)
And drinks tomoro tomoro i think!
xxxx
I've started to feel more and more alone as of late, i've been making new friends and catching up with old ones......and its been great , but still lacking something.
Maybe im just having an emo fit, maybe all the years of pot smoking have finally rotted my brian and i'm slowly falling into a complete psychotic episode, i dunno..... I dont know a lot anymore, i'm ususally a quite balanced person, able to give advice...but rarely take it ...
I fell in love with a friend who turned round and started dating someone else, then pointed out how it "was never anything serious"...now theres a knife to the heart if i've ever had one, am i deluded? do i walk around with rose tinted glasses on? This is whats made me wonder what im doing with my life. I almost had to move out my flat because my old job was barely paying the rent and i was constantly exhausted both mentally and physically, now i have a new job tho ,s o least thats looking up ...
I want to just close everyone out , say fuck it all, goodbye and thanks for the memories , but im afraid of losing those i hold dear to me, that and i'll just end up even more bitter and cynical than i am now.
This isn't a pleasant place to be, i've far too much time to over think things lately, a mate once said that i should stop thinking about others so much and think about myself more, that i shouldn't waste energy on people who dont deserve my time, and their right .. i guess i just had to have a rant on ye olde LJ to help that one sink in.
To all my friends who ARE there for me, i love you guys!! (^_^)
And drinks tomoro tomoro i think!
xxxx