Almost finally out of words.
So I was talking to liz the other day and the subject of the women in my life both past and present. There are a few girls I care deeply about. I would do almost anything for them. Many of them are like sisters to me. Ive known these girls for most of my life or close to it. And even though I dont hear from many of them any more I always make it a point to find out how they are doing and such in their life. Cuz even if Im not a part of it anymore I still like to know theyre ok. Over the years I've watched them change and grow and become the people they are today. And I'm proud of them, all of them. I miss some of these girls. 3 specifically come to mind but they have done well without me. Im unsure this makes any real sense.
I also have had pointed out to me that there is one girl from my past that I tend to talk about in a different way than the rest. Im not gonna bother naming names cuz frankly she probably knows who she is, and if not I don't know what difference it would make anyway.
I find myself dwelling on my past relationships and the intimate moments I shared with the girls I loved and cared for. And I reread my journal and I remember my motives and emotions behind my actions but I doubt I'll ever know theirs. And I know that such things should be self evident but the women I surrounded myself with were always so much more complicated than that. 2 specific nights come to mind where a part of me wishes I could ask her what they meant, what was going through her head? Were those feelings real or was it as much the circumstance as anything else? Honestly I dont know if I want those answers though. The truth can be such a dangerous double edged sword.
But either way I look back at the women my life was blessed with. And even more importantly the women I loved and who loved me. I miss you and there isnt a single act of affection I regret for even a moment. I will always do my best to help you if you need it. And I know I'll always be proud of you and proud of what you further become.
This last part is just for one girl in particular.
And it's okay if you have to go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see me now
well then I'm almost finally out of words.
I also have had pointed out to me that there is one girl from my past that I tend to talk about in a different way than the rest. Im not gonna bother naming names cuz frankly she probably knows who she is, and if not I don't know what difference it would make anyway.
I find myself dwelling on my past relationships and the intimate moments I shared with the girls I loved and cared for. And I reread my journal and I remember my motives and emotions behind my actions but I doubt I'll ever know theirs. And I know that such things should be self evident but the women I surrounded myself with were always so much more complicated than that. 2 specific nights come to mind where a part of me wishes I could ask her what they meant, what was going through her head? Were those feelings real or was it as much the circumstance as anything else? Honestly I dont know if I want those answers though. The truth can be such a dangerous double edged sword.
But either way I look back at the women my life was blessed with. And even more importantly the women I loved and who loved me. I miss you and there isnt a single act of affection I regret for even a moment. I will always do my best to help you if you need it. And I know I'll always be proud of you and proud of what you further become.
This last part is just for one girl in particular.
And it's okay if you have to go away
Oh just remember the telephone works both ways
And if I never ever hear them ring
If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally found you someone else and that's okay
Cause I'll remember everything you sang
Cause you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see me now
well then I'm almost finally out of words.