[FIC] Avenger's Choice 1/10

[shakstergrrl]

Hi everyone!  So I'm kind of new around here, and a sasunaru fic virgin, but this idea had been bugging me for a while, and like any good writer and yaoi fangirl I decided it was time to get it down, so this it... my first Naruto multi-part fic.  Which I have cross posted at 

Comments

[pysche924]

Aww you thanked me! That's so sweet... I feel important now. :P

[shakstergrrl]

Oh hon... you're soo sweet... and thankies again... so much... being IC was my biggest worry... so to know i got it right is a relief... I love the backstory concerning Neji and Naruto... and the tension it causes for Naruto and Sasuke's already strained relationship.

As for the MS I like when a reader just knows somehting without being beaten over the head with it... (and then Sasuke got the MS and killed Itachi) so I'm glad it was affective... love ya babe

[sayfray]

This is beautiful. The third chap brought tears to my eyes, I cant wait for the next chapter. SARA

[shakstergrrl]

Oh, thank u very much... I am very humbled anytime I hear I caused an emotional reaction in someone... no worries though I'm not an angst queen... they'll be plenty of cheery flashbacks and stuff...

Glad you enjoyed it so far and thank u again for the review.

[cutemew]

Hm, wow. This is really, reallly well-written... And trust me... coming from me? I'm picky. I especially like the intro.

But.. I can't let this slide by, especially when the rest of it is so flawless... The whole "dobe-kun" and "teme" nicknaming... what?! It throws me for a loop - do you think you could omit it?

:(

Let me know.

[shakstergrrl]

Thanks for the review! However, as far as clarification goes on the nicknames, canonically, Naruto and Sasuke refer to each other all the time as "Dobe" without the kun and "Teme". Seeing as they are now together for this fic, it would make more sense to keep the names that were previously derogatory to each other and turn them into affectionate words, seeing as neither Sasuke nor Naruto would call each other 'baby', 'honey', or sugarlump. So unfortunately, I am sticking with the canon nicknames to keep the story in character as much as possible.

Actually the whole Dobe-kun thing sort of plays a significant role in the story as you'll see later on... so I sort of "can't" stop using it... but i hope it doesn't make the story any less enjoyable for you.

Thanks again for the review!

[cutemew]

I know they've called each other "dobe" and "temee"... the problem is, they techincally aren't nicknames.

I have so many problems with "dobe-kun"... Sasuke would NEVER refer to anyone as -kun... He's too "cool" to do that. I can't imagine "dobe" ever being used with honorifics, it just doesn't have that kind of sound... =_= and along the lines of sound, you wouldn't be able to effectively say "dobe-kun" in Japanese. It'd have to be "dobekkun", in any case...

As for "temee", Naruto's only ever used it in the "WTF/WHY YOU-" sense... he doesn't just address Sasuke as "temee" in general - it'd be "omae" for you, or just "Sasuke"... he has mocked Sasuke, calling him "Sasuke-chan", and "scaredy cat".

And as an alternative to "Dobe-kun" perhaps... Sasuke tends to call Naruto "usuratonkachi" - I can imagine him using that as an affectionate term (without a -kun or -chan, though).

[cutemew]

what pains me is that, too often, fic writers use "temee" as a nickname for Sasuke, and always have Naruto address him as "Sasuke-temee"... which is a little odd for someone to be greeted with.. =_=

I mean, I've never gotten on anyone's case about it, but your fic is elsewise so well written that I couldn't let this mar it without a fight!

>:O