Long time..........
So it's been a long time coming...
I haven't updated this thing in I can't even remember when, so that proves right there that it's been WAY TOO LONG.
A lot has been going on around here, stuff that I may not want to share, but feel that I should because my friends read this and I love you all and want you to know.
In the past few months I've come to the realization and knocked myself out of denial. I have an eating disorder...call it anorexia if you want to...it crosses the borders of both, but I knew it was time to call it what it was and begin dealing with it. I'm on the road of recovery....that sounds weird...but I suppose it's the truth and I'm ready to talk about it. It's the root of many things....
The reason I've been out of touch with everyone.......
The reason I haven't allowed anyone to get "too close" for so long......
There is so much more, but would be a novel by the time I finished with it. If any of you have any questions about it I want you to be able to ask. Don't think I'm too "fragile" to talk about it or you can't be open with me about it or you have to whisper behind my back, etc....You're all my friends and I love you.
I went on a Missions Trip to Mexico for a week the end of June...it was amazing and left me forever changed in the way I look at things on a daily basis. The povery there was so immense that the biggest thing it tought me was---who am I to complain about anything when I have SO much?! Seriously?! It was something that we all can learn from and put into our daily lives....again so much more to tell, but would be a book, so more on that later.
When I got back from that, my parents flew me down to orlando to spend time with them, this was the first time I had seen them, since telling them about everything I"ve been dealing with. It was SO needed, just to be around them and have that comfort. After being there for 3 days we found out that my grandpa was in the hospital and wasn't expected to make it. So my Dad flew out Monday morning to St. Louis and said he would call to tell us when to get there. Thursday morning at 5AM me, my mom, my brother, sister-in-law and neice piled in the car and 16 hours later landed in St. Louis. The viewing was Friday and the funeral was Saturday. I sang Amazing Grace and my mom sang the Lords Prayer...I was honored to be asked, considering none of my family there had ever heard me sing. It was a blessing and an emotional weekend. I saw family that hadn't seen me since I was 6...and it felt like I had just seen them yesterday...God works in mysterious ways, because I know now that I won't lose touch with them ever again. Relationships were reformed and it was a really cool thing.
So we headed out early Sunday morning and they dropped me off in Nashville on their way back to Orlando. I made breakfast for everyone and then it was a very sad goodbye. I miss them SO much and wish they were closer than a 10 hour drive. Part of the sad goodbye was how much they worry about not being close to me while I deal with this, but I partly think thats a really good thing, because it allows me to work through it "on my own" which is what I need to do. I have so many people here looking out for me and working throught it with me that its' o.k. And they know that and understand that, but as family, it's still really hard for them.
Is that the full update as of late? I believe so.....I will be better at updating more often and bear with me on the phone calls, etc....I promise I will try to get better. I love all of you and hope to hear from you soon. E-mails, comments back on here, etc....
I haven't updated this thing in I can't even remember when, so that proves right there that it's been WAY TOO LONG.
A lot has been going on around here, stuff that I may not want to share, but feel that I should because my friends read this and I love you all and want you to know.
In the past few months I've come to the realization and knocked myself out of denial. I have an eating disorder...call it anorexia if you want to...it crosses the borders of both, but I knew it was time to call it what it was and begin dealing with it. I'm on the road of recovery....that sounds weird...but I suppose it's the truth and I'm ready to talk about it. It's the root of many things....
The reason I've been out of touch with everyone.......
The reason I haven't allowed anyone to get "too close" for so long......
There is so much more, but would be a novel by the time I finished with it. If any of you have any questions about it I want you to be able to ask. Don't think I'm too "fragile" to talk about it or you can't be open with me about it or you have to whisper behind my back, etc....You're all my friends and I love you.
I went on a Missions Trip to Mexico for a week the end of June...it was amazing and left me forever changed in the way I look at things on a daily basis. The povery there was so immense that the biggest thing it tought me was---who am I to complain about anything when I have SO much?! Seriously?! It was something that we all can learn from and put into our daily lives....again so much more to tell, but would be a book, so more on that later.
When I got back from that, my parents flew me down to orlando to spend time with them, this was the first time I had seen them, since telling them about everything I"ve been dealing with. It was SO needed, just to be around them and have that comfort. After being there for 3 days we found out that my grandpa was in the hospital and wasn't expected to make it. So my Dad flew out Monday morning to St. Louis and said he would call to tell us when to get there. Thursday morning at 5AM me, my mom, my brother, sister-in-law and neice piled in the car and 16 hours later landed in St. Louis. The viewing was Friday and the funeral was Saturday. I sang Amazing Grace and my mom sang the Lords Prayer...I was honored to be asked, considering none of my family there had ever heard me sing. It was a blessing and an emotional weekend. I saw family that hadn't seen me since I was 6...and it felt like I had just seen them yesterday...God works in mysterious ways, because I know now that I won't lose touch with them ever again. Relationships were reformed and it was a really cool thing.
So we headed out early Sunday morning and they dropped me off in Nashville on their way back to Orlando. I made breakfast for everyone and then it was a very sad goodbye. I miss them SO much and wish they were closer than a 10 hour drive. Part of the sad goodbye was how much they worry about not being close to me while I deal with this, but I partly think thats a really good thing, because it allows me to work through it "on my own" which is what I need to do. I have so many people here looking out for me and working throught it with me that its' o.k. And they know that and understand that, but as family, it's still really hard for them.
Is that the full update as of late? I believe so.....I will be better at updating more often and bear with me on the phone calls, etc....I promise I will try to get better. I love all of you and hope to hear from you soon. E-mails, comments back on here, etc....