swing and a miss

[sassydame]

If i took a bat to my feelings
I dont think i could possibly
maybe
shatter it as well as you have

i am a cloudy mess with random
sporadic
silver linings

but they dont come through clear enough.

if i was to take all my pieces it would
overflow a small thimble
a tiny pond
a lake

being dramatic is an art
a class youve helped me partake

I woke up with the profound realization that I didnt want to go to work today. I didnt want to be at an office. I didnt want to be home. I dont want to do anything or be anywhere. I just want to be. silently..just be. Which is really hard to do lately. Everything is so up and down and really, Im tired. I am constantly tired and constantly worried and overwhelmed. But I am also the epitome of trying to be the martyr. I am not...not completely sure WHY I am trying to fufill this role. because its there?

Things are changing and Im not good with change but really, they are just evolving...there was only one direction for parts of my life to go and its good that it's evolving right? That means there's some original there but other things too...i dont know. I have no idea where I am going. And its freaky.

im just going to sit here and close my eyes and wait for it to stop spinning.