some ramblings
I am just SO unsure of what is going on in my life at the moment. I think I am at a stalemate. Like...what can I do? What can I honestly do at this point in my life...sometimes I feel like I really cant do anything right now. You know some people can not constantly be by themselves and they search for other people to fill their moments. I get a bit like that but oddly enough as much as I want someone to help me fill the moments, well there arent a lot of moments left to be feel. The odd day or so when I am completely alone or the nights when im laying in the center of my bed, those are my need-filler moments right now. Its weird because I genuinely have a pretty busy life at the moment. But its not actually going anywhere or progressing to something and I just feel like it should. Maybe I should just breathe.
I will say again I miss having someone to call. I miss getting giddy over a text someone sends me. I do miss that. I miss talking late into the night with a guy. I havent gotten to do that in like a year now. I havent dated anyone ~ even at the loosiest version of that word ~ since last August. Wow such a long time to not go on a date. *sigh* I just miss men. I miss specific ones like David and sometimes Alex. And then I really miss the general version. But I am not, I am not actively looking. I dont think some guy is just going to spring up on me at the moment but right now I really dont have much to offer besides the leftover bits of me and my time. I wish that was enough for someone at the moment.
I will say again I miss having someone to call. I miss getting giddy over a text someone sends me. I do miss that. I miss talking late into the night with a guy. I havent gotten to do that in like a year now. I havent dated anyone ~ even at the loosiest version of that word ~ since last August. Wow such a long time to not go on a date. *sigh* I just miss men. I miss specific ones like David and sometimes Alex. And then I really miss the general version. But I am not, I am not actively looking. I dont think some guy is just going to spring up on me at the moment but right now I really dont have much to offer besides the leftover bits of me and my time. I wish that was enough for someone at the moment.