Hmm

[sassydame]

Do I'm reading this book called Escaping Into The Open. Its pretty good. Its a book on writing and I love the way this woman talks. Its like I can hear her and i totally get into books like that. Anyways it has little homework assignments and I did one. And I did it about my grandmother. And now I feel just awful. I miss her so much. Life just sucks without her when I think about it. It really does. I mean she was the back bone of everything in my world and shes been gone and my worlds just been pretty crummy sometimes. I miss her hugs and I miss her kisses. I miss cuddling with her and watching movies. I miss her cooking. But yeah I think I miss her hugs the most. She was always hugging me and I knew I was loved. I never know any more. I never get hugged anymore. I miss that touch. God I miss her. Id i give up anything to have her. Her laughter and rolling on the floor with me. She was over protetive but she was the bomb. She worked so hard so that i could have everything. I know when i talk about her i say the same things over and over but I just want people to realize what an awesome person she was. Thats why Ive decided to do something about it. But Im not going to talk about it cause...well im just not. But im really happy with this decsion.

Speaking of missing touch. Im glad im not a whore. I love Alex very much. And I know hes shady and crazy and is never around and is the most difficult boy to pin down but he honestly loves me and cares about me. Hes a shitty boyfriend but a great love of my life. I am lucky to have him. And im glad he knows he's damn lucky to still have me.

Speaking of lucky Im getting a tattoo in Jan I believe. I dont know yet.

I miss my band/winter guard friends. If I had to do it all over again. I think I wouldve stayed in band just to stay in winterguard. All well.