trying to trust again
Since i last posted something, a few things have happened..... matt and i started talking again. we've had a couple of serious conversations about our relationship and what is going to happen in the future. how we can make things better. what needs to change and what was good all along. He apologized for everything he has done (or not done) to me. he wanted to know what he could do to make my friends and family not hate him anymore, but "more importantly" he wanted to know what he could do to make me happy. i had a hard time coming up with things, no one has ever asked me something like that before.... but i tried. i told him that i needed to be able to depend on him, trust him. like he told me he would call me every night, and he has been. and its been nice. i look forward to it every night. when i told my mom this she said it sounded like i was teaching him to grow up. i told him that my family is important to me and we need to have dinner with them, hang out with them, he still needs to meet my dad... i told him i know that its not something that would happen overnight, and now he understands and agrees with me that is something that needs to happen on his part. i told him that i need to feel appreciated and important once in awhile, and at that point he interrupted me and told me that i am THE most important person to him and that i matter more to him than anyone else. when i tried to tell corey last night i broke down in tears, i could not stop crying. matt has never said anything like that to me before and it meant alot. i'm giving him a second chance, i sincerely hope he is trying to change for good. i know there is still alot we have to talk about and work through, and it will take time, but i am ready to do that. i don't want everyone to hate him, and i know they only do it out of love for me. but i want them to give him a second chance. please. he knows he's walking a thin line here, and is trying very hard to 'be good enough for me'. i want to help him.