Dear Amanda...cristman05August 3 2003, 21:41:25 UTC
I figured... shit, i prolly wont be signing your yearbook huh? so this'll just have to do..........
Dear Amanda, i dont know what to say relaly, i know exactly how u feel... ur not alone so dont let urself feel like it... and dont blame yourself for whats happening in your life. its just like... the older u get in life, more n more things get taken from u 1 by 1, and u dont even realize it until you start to lose things... i dont know exactly wahts happening with ur mom, but u probably feel like ur in hell right now, n like theres nothing u can do about it... n maybe its just part of life... im sorry i couldtn always be there for you and i know we had our differences, but i hope you know deep in ur heart im here for u whenever u need me... i dont know whats up with u n ur mom, or what this entry is about, but im sure if she coudl read it, she woudl comment n tell you how perfect you really HAVE been for her, n how much she loves u... everythings gonna be ok in the end and ur always gonna have people in your life who love you and care about you like brad, n i read all your entries and its just like you DOUBT that fact... liek your not good enuogh for eveyrone in your life when in reality your probably the most importnat thing to those people, such as brad n ur mom.. and ur dad.. and ur friends... i hope you can start to have faith in yoruself and faith that the ones you care for in your life care for you just as well... now that thats out of the way... i wanted to tlel u thta i know ur moving soon, and i know weve had our fights n w/e and that i just wanted to tell you that knowing you and being a part of your life this year has changed me in a lot of ways n ive learned a lot from you... ur quite n amazing person and i cherish the times we spent together... i love how unique you are from everyone else and i always loved being aroudn you... youve left a lasting impression on my life and i promise to never forget you... i love you as a person and as a friend and i always will... i hope you are happy wherever you are n wherever you end up, and that someone soemwehre will always be thinking of you... thank you for helpign me make htis year of my life a great one... i love you amanda, this is my formal goodbye until you are gone.
That made me cry :'(sassy669August 3 2003, 22:04:19 UTC
christmas,
i havnt talked to you in quite some time--such a sweet surprise to hear from you. i can honestly say that your comment was the sweetest and most touching thing anyone has ever said to me as gay as it may sound. and coming from yourself it means even more. out of all of my freidns ive known you the shortest but i feel you know me more than most of them. somehting about you and me--we jus click and for the most part get along so well and like i said its crazy cus even tho we met just this year it feels like ive known you for a lifetime.
Freidns always say they'll be there for you when life gets tough. but best friedns--real true friends--are the only ones who mean it. today its so hard to know and realize who ur true friends are--the ones you can relate to bitch to cry to--the ones who are there for you when everyone else could give two shits about--the one whos standing beside you through everyones elses bullshit when they put you down. Through all of that you were the one standing beside me. i cant htink of another person who was more loyal to me than you. and it makes you such a good person and I'll always respect you for that. you were there for me no questions asked when everybody else ran out.
One thing that we have soo much in common is our fucked up families. i appreciate so much you caring about me and my mom. you know the story but its getting worse and now it jus seems like she fucking hates me. she thinks i dont care about her becasue i dont ask about her doc. appt. and i dont ask her if shes ok and im not the one holding her hair when she pukes. but frankly i dont want to. i dont wanna hear any of it. but its not becauase i dont care--i jus cant deal with it. and i know you have issuses er whatver with your mom and jus like you said to me i'm always here for you.
you were always the one to make me laugh the hardest. ur a goofy kid and i Love you for it. i could never forget a person like you and i never want to. Dont be shy--its not ur style--pick up your phone and use it!!!
P.S. Dont ever say Goodbye..Its never goodbye..Its See you later.
Re: That made me cry :'(sillAugust 4 2003, 20:50:35 UTC
omG! that has got to be the cutest thing i ha ve EVER seen..
I love u Amanda and I know that everyone who knows you does too. How would they not? Everything will get better I PROMISE-- timing is everything so when you least expect it you'll be smiling without having to be fake or crying inside. Your mother does not hate you, everyone goes through shit with their parents your situtaion might be worse than others but there are plenty of people who you can relate to. But anyway, if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate i'll be happy to listen :) i love you, please dont EVER forget that.
Dear Amanda,
i dont know what to say relaly, i know exactly how u feel... ur not alone so dont let urself feel like it... and dont blame yourself for whats happening in your life. its just like... the older u get in life, more n more things get taken from u 1 by 1, and u dont even realize it until you start to lose things... i dont know exactly wahts happening with ur mom, but u probably feel like ur in hell right now, n like theres nothing u can do about it... n maybe its just part of life... im sorry i couldtn always be there for you and i know we had our differences, but i hope you know deep in ur heart im here for u whenever u need me... i dont know whats up with u n ur mom, or what this entry is about, but im sure if she coudl read it, she woudl comment n tell you how perfect you really HAVE been for her, n how much she loves u... everythings gonna be ok in the end and ur always gonna have people in your life who love you and care about you like brad, n i read all your entries and its just like you DOUBT that fact... liek your not good enuogh for eveyrone in your life when in reality your probably the most importnat thing to those people, such as brad n ur mom.. and ur dad.. and ur friends... i hope you can start to have faith in yoruself and faith that the ones you care for in your life care for you just as well... now that thats out of the way... i wanted to tlel u thta i know ur moving soon, and i know weve had our fights n w/e and that i just wanted to tell you that knowing you and being a part of your life this year has changed me in a lot of ways n ive learned a lot from you... ur quite n amazing person and i cherish the times we spent together... i love how unique you are from everyone else and i always loved being aroudn you... youve left a lasting impression on my life and i promise to never forget you... i love you as a person and as a friend and i always will... i hope you are happy wherever you are n wherever you end up, and that someone soemwehre will always be thinking of you... thank you for helpign me make htis year of my life a great one... i love you amanda, this is my formal goodbye until you are gone.
-Ryan
Reply
christmas,
i havnt talked to you in quite some time--such a sweet surprise to hear from you. i can honestly say that your comment was the sweetest and most touching thing anyone has ever said to me as gay as it may sound. and coming from yourself it means even more. out of all of my freidns ive known you the shortest but i feel you know me more than most of them. somehting about you and me--we jus click and for the most part get along so well and like i said its crazy cus even tho we met just this year it feels like ive known you for a lifetime.
Freidns always say they'll be there for you when life gets tough. but best friedns--real true friends--are the only ones who mean it. today its so hard to know and realize who ur true friends are--the ones you can relate to bitch to cry to--the ones who are there for you when everyone else could give two shits about--the one whos standing beside you through everyones elses bullshit when they put you down. Through all of that you were the one standing beside me. i cant htink of another person who was more loyal to me than you. and it makes you such a good person and I'll always respect you for that. you were there for me no questions asked when everybody else ran out.
One thing that we have soo much in common is our fucked up families. i appreciate so much you caring about me and my mom. you know the story but its getting worse and now it jus seems like she fucking hates me. she thinks i dont care about her becasue i dont ask about her doc. appt. and i dont ask her if shes ok and im not the one holding her hair when she pukes. but frankly i dont want to. i dont wanna hear any of it. but its not becauase i dont care--i jus cant deal with it. and i know you have issuses er whatver with your mom and jus like you said to me i'm always here for you.
you were always the one to make me laugh the hardest. ur a goofy kid and i Love you for it. i could never forget a person like you and i never want to. Dont be shy--its not ur style--pick up your phone and use it!!!
P.S. Dont ever say Goodbye..Its never goodbye..Its See you later.
Reply
I love u Amanda and I know that everyone who knows you does too. How would they not? Everything will get better I PROMISE-- timing is everything so when you least expect it you'll be smiling without having to be fake or crying inside. Your mother does not hate you, everyone goes through shit with their parents your situtaion might be worse than others but there are plenty of people who you can relate to. But anyway, if you ever need to talk, don't hesitate i'll be happy to listen :) i love you, please dont EVER forget that.
Love, Sylvia.
Reply
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