massive update

[saskatchewan]

So where was I?

schoolI’m going to UW. I told them so. I also got offers from McMaster, Guelph, and Laurier. Four for four, babies! And they all offered me money too. McMaster actually offered a bit more cash than UW and I mentioned this to UW (as I had been told to do by someone who is way less of a wuss than I) and UW made an offer that

Comments

[claudelemonde]

good god i hope you saved that message. i think you should send a copy or transcript of it to your lawyer for their files, too.

child support stuff gets fucking hairy. i know you already know but document EVERYTHING.

i also grew up between two families with different ideas about what kids could and couldn't do (example: my dad/stepmom were horrified that my mom let me pierce my ears at age 12, and i was grounded for semi-permanently dying my hair when i was nearly 16. dying it auburn, btw, not even blue or anything). i think if it comes up again the best thing you can do is tell your daughter that there are two kinds of folks in this world: folks that trust you to manage your own business, and folks who like to tell you what they think you should do, all the time, and part of being an adult is making your own decisions and being okay with it, and it's too bad that IEH can't trust her decisions, isn't it?

[saskatchewan]

We looked at internet pictures of girls and women getting their hair bobbed en masse in the 1920s. “They don’t look like boys,” she said. “Are you kidding? Clara Bow had a bob and she was the ‘it’ girl.” We also looked at a picture of us, together, when she was a toddler and I had the same haircut that she has now. She was delighted.

Of course, she did mention this to my ex-husband the next week and he told her that I looked as bad then as she does now. Because, yes, he really is that much of a jerk and really is stupid enough to believe that stomping all over her feelings is a good way to exercise his authority. (And, good god, this is an aside, but I really hope my kid sees through this crap and doesn’t grow up to date men who only like her when she feels insecure and strung-out trying to get their approval.)

I’m heavily into documenting all of the crazy. If this ever comes to a custody case (as I am more or less constantly threatened) I will snow a judge under all of the paperwork.

yeah, because Amelie was such an emasculating bruiser

[claudelemonde]

ok, wow, i guess i am just SHOCKED that yer ex would speak that way to a CHILD. i mean, i'm shocked at blatant misogyny period (i like my misogyny buried under a wave of pretendy-wendy PC denial, American-style) but to a CHILD? man, i'm glad she already appears to have such a strong sense of self (i'm sure it's all thanks to you). i TOTALLY had that haircut, too! (only with the bangs.) and, hi, catherine z-j in chicago, 'nuff said.

Re: yeah, because Amelie was such an emasculating bruiser

[saskatchewan]

I am also highly shocked whenever the gloves come off. Isn’t it weird when people are totally fine with their jerkitude? Like they just didn’t get the memo that that hunk-dory sexism is just so last century? Like it’s funny to see on 1940s shot glasses, but not so much for serious?

She’s a pretty swell kid. Her plan is to be an artist “and also to work in a bar”.

Re: yeah, because Amelie was such an emasculating bruiser

[claudelemonde]

OH MY GOD IF I COULD HAVE A CHILD LIKE YOURS I WOULD RECONSIDER THE WHOLE NO-PARENTING THING!!!!! pls let me be her weird auntie from afar as soon as her tender, fragile mind is bold enough to handle the Claw.

Re: yeah, because Amelie was such an emasculating bruiser

[saskatchewan]

Considering that that same kid is giving up “yelling at people in the morning” for Lent and everyone in this house a) doubted she would be able to hold to it and b) really hoped she would, you might want to keep it a strictly long-distance relationship.