Lillith (up so far)
Lillith- by Vlad Israfel (what I've written so far)
Prologue
The universe is such a bare place to live in, an infinite mantle of non-existence. Yes, deities lurk here and there at will. But there is nothing. That is why we call it “universe”, a song that nobody sings. And deities are nothing either: they are all the same, vain and shallow. They, arrogant and pedantic, believe in our superiority but, who is there to be inferior to us? We find ourselves underneath purpose or meaning.
Thus, I wanted to become a mother, following my instinct. I craved to orchestrate an entire creation with my hands, and behold it grow its own path, triumphing over limits I could not. Willing to give myself to extinction if failure ever occurred, I held myself to the vow of protecting my progeny from the tainting forces of deities, against their greed and propagating ways of destruction, for if their infectious limbs attained to my breed, every piece of my creation would be in vain.
Science became the only possible father in my masterpiece. Everything that was needed was my seed inside, in order to give the first push in the creation of matter and stars… of the life to feed the principle of existence. And so, it started, unable to restore the original order of our Universe. How to know nothing was safe? How to see God was veiled amongst the deepest shadows, in preparation of demise? As a stain of oil, doom was going to settle in every living creature.
Now that I turn to that day, my tears are the only companion for my tormented eyes, tired of witnessing so much obliteration. “Look what we are doing to the Nature”, humans say, but they know there is no way back. Not since God put his hand and opened the scar. Not since he surmounted and then left. Excluded from my own home, that is what I am, and I don’t find a door to enter once more.
Will somebody ever perceive I am gone too? Will my song be ever sung again?
Chapter One
In the beginning, the Heavens and the Earth were created. Now, the Earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and silence was hovering over the waters. And, blossoming amongst the shadows, Science developed; as a huge garden, all things were taking shape, growing from the emptiness. And Science said, “let there be light”, and with time stars were created, and with stars, light came. God, who hid in the shadows from the beginning, called the light “day”, and the darkness, he called “night”. And there was evening and morning- the first eon.
And Science said “let there be a firmament in the midst of waters and let it divide the waters from the waters”. The presence of God remained hiding amongst the waters, and called those above the firmament “Heaven”, and claimed them for his own, tainting them. And thus, Science threw Heaven to forgetfulness, and saw the waters below were good. But God’s greed didn’t let him stay in Heaven: in silence, he remained observant of the Creation. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And Science said “let the waters under the Heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry appear”. For such, lands claimed a place from the waters, and time brought islands and continents. Seas were fertile and with the motherly instinct of Nature, created the simplest forms of life; they lived in such womb, until the voice of the dry called them to emerge. They grew and took the dry for their survival. God came down from Heaven, and walking on the dry, saw all the young was good for him, and extended his hand towards the everlasting horizon.
-“The dry will be called land, and the waters will be named seas. I claim you on my possession, since I was here when you were created”.
And the evening and the morning were the third day, another thousand years of slow growing. God used this time to explore the lands and the seas, claiming for his name all what Science created for Nature. Three more days passed, in which the deity tried to bind the secrets of Science for his purposes; for he saw that alone he was not to control all of this land. And he though of creating us in orders to control Nature through our manipulated existence.
In the sixth day God, being many, said, “let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping being that crawled upon the Earth. Let them have dominion over Nature, and imbue Science with the title of their servitude”. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him. And he made me. Together we were melded from the same clay, and brought to life with the same breath God stole from Nature. We were Lillith and Adam to rule on everything our eyes could see, our hands touch and our feet walk upon. With his words, we were blessed: “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth. Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that crawled upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat”. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. Night. God promised to give us the land to conquer, but instead we only received feeble flesh and stones for our delight. We saw him no more from that moment: he evanesced away for his own purposes, abandoning us to our misery.
Land had many faces to express herself. Our first steps were met with the angry expression of everlasting, blazing sands that wanted to engulf our feet and devour us. The caresses of the wind were raping our skins and erasing our footpaths, for which life was impossible for us. There was nothing in here for us, just our sacrifice for survival. A small cave, merely a whole in the ground, was our home until Adam came to me:
-“I am God’s only son, his favourite. Why should I exist in a place which can not supply nurture to me? This desert won’t become my abode for any longer, nor will this pile of rocks and pebbles be called ‘home’ anymore”.
-“This cave was our place of birth, and the nurture I have given you has cost my sweat. I’ve predated behind the rocks for days, so we could feed, and walked for long time so I could provide us with water. If you are God’s favourite son, talk to him and demand for us to live in plenitude instead of this. Until you receive an answer, I will remain in here, bleeding my hands for us”.
During the sunset Adam came out of the cave, raising his voice to our creator during days. My efforts were still to give us food and water, sun after sun. Entire nights I laid on the floor by myself, with no companion, for Adam’s absence was the only voice that cuddled my sleep. But God didn’t answer: the wind was still the same, and Nature still seemed to hate us. When Adam realized his efforts were useless, he turned to me again: “Stand up, Lillith. We leave on this day”.
I didn’t stop pealing the skin off a squalid rabbit that still moved in the last moments of anguish: “Did God answer your demands? I don’t recall having heard his voice or his promises of a better land”.
-“Stay if that is your will, but stay alone. My departure will have no turn back, and if I’m to abscond alone, God will provide me with a better companion”. Not saying another word, he turned around, leaving the cave to never come back. I sigh and have no more option but his.
Our feet attempted away from this torturing place, carrying us, who lamented having Nature opposed to our existence. We claimed to the divinity for days, begging in tears to be washed away or provided with his aid.
-“Is this your whole creation, God? Is this the land we are to replenish and subdue? There is nothing to have dominion upon, no creature to have control on, but to kill so we can barely feed. Shall we multiply and inherit others with this wasteland, so they have to suffer like us? Give us better, you created all we see”. But the silence born in the horizon was the only answer that ever touched our ears. Consumed and exhausted, we laid and ceased our claiming. As the hours escaped, the shadows engulfed us at last. We were safe from the sun, now exposed to the coldness… yet no fear took over us, for we didn’t know about Death. I dreamed: the colours took shape in the back of my eyes, in hand with clear sounds. I saw trees, lawn, and creatures flying like we never did. The breeze was not our foe but our ally, who allured the spirit of every living creature and fed it with joy. I walked, marvelled with this place, burning in desire of touching all of it, of possessing it with my power. My steps drove me to a place where the silence of the desert was king: under a vine I found our God, lazy and asleep, father of nobody, sleeping on dry leafs cried by the plant, while the roots of the trees around us escaped the life and crumbled to dust. My eyes admired the trees, as they slowly seemed to try to evade Nature’s enemy, and stopped in the branches: resting on them were numerous creatures similar to us in every aspect, but the fact that wings came out of their bodies. I came closer to one of them, long and red hair like mine, sleeping on a branch close to the ground. His skin decomposing on his flesh repulsed my senses, forcing me to give a step back, to find warm breath caressing my neck, passing its invisible fingers and shivering my spine. A small exhalation drove away from my chest, whispering into these creatures’ ears it was time to stop sleeping. Unhurriedly, they woke up. Each one of them stood on their feet, surrounding me without an exit. My lips, numb and frozen needed an eternal second to finally shout: “God! Help me!” but my voice ethereal was lost.
With the sound of my last bawl, I came into consciousness again to the world of agony we exist in; but the voices whispering in my dreams followed me to this realm. Before opening my eyes, Adam’s breath came to my ears to tell me I was already out of the nightmare. My skin was the games room of his lust fingers: while his chest pushed against my naked back, a hand swam deeply into the fire of my hair, and slid down my neck with ecstasy. His other hand caressed gently my chest, confusing the fear sweat with arousal. “Steps”, sang the wind. Adam didn’t appear to notice them, amused with the exploration of my tempting body, but my fist closed tautly as it did when nurture depended on preying. “Who is it?! Can’t be God, he left us behind…” Why did I panic?
My memory was brief seconds lost in a sense of insensate reality, in which my self- conscious fists disposed to subdue this night traveller. But the voice we were claiming for during weeks talked to us, before I could assault: “Immense is the world, down at our feet. Yet, I would distinguish my child where on Earth”. God proffered a hand: Adam took it and stood up from the sands.
At the same time that my perception came back, I ogled the Lord: behind the apparent tranquillity oozed an intensity I didn’t know to describe back then. I stood up again, more calmed, yet sceptic and cleaned the sand off my hair.
Erick
Prologue
The universe is such a bare place to live in, an infinite mantle of non-existence. Yes, deities lurk here and there at will. But there is nothing. That is why we call it “universe”, a song that nobody sings. And deities are nothing either: they are all the same, vain and shallow. They, arrogant and pedantic, believe in our superiority but, who is there to be inferior to us? We find ourselves underneath purpose or meaning.
Thus, I wanted to become a mother, following my instinct. I craved to orchestrate an entire creation with my hands, and behold it grow its own path, triumphing over limits I could not. Willing to give myself to extinction if failure ever occurred, I held myself to the vow of protecting my progeny from the tainting forces of deities, against their greed and propagating ways of destruction, for if their infectious limbs attained to my breed, every piece of my creation would be in vain.
Science became the only possible father in my masterpiece. Everything that was needed was my seed inside, in order to give the first push in the creation of matter and stars… of the life to feed the principle of existence. And so, it started, unable to restore the original order of our Universe. How to know nothing was safe? How to see God was veiled amongst the deepest shadows, in preparation of demise? As a stain of oil, doom was going to settle in every living creature.
Now that I turn to that day, my tears are the only companion for my tormented eyes, tired of witnessing so much obliteration. “Look what we are doing to the Nature”, humans say, but they know there is no way back. Not since God put his hand and opened the scar. Not since he surmounted and then left. Excluded from my own home, that is what I am, and I don’t find a door to enter once more.
Will somebody ever perceive I am gone too? Will my song be ever sung again?
Chapter One
In the beginning, the Heavens and the Earth were created. Now, the Earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and silence was hovering over the waters. And, blossoming amongst the shadows, Science developed; as a huge garden, all things were taking shape, growing from the emptiness. And Science said, “let there be light”, and with time stars were created, and with stars, light came. God, who hid in the shadows from the beginning, called the light “day”, and the darkness, he called “night”. And there was evening and morning- the first eon.
And Science said “let there be a firmament in the midst of waters and let it divide the waters from the waters”. The presence of God remained hiding amongst the waters, and called those above the firmament “Heaven”, and claimed them for his own, tainting them. And thus, Science threw Heaven to forgetfulness, and saw the waters below were good. But God’s greed didn’t let him stay in Heaven: in silence, he remained observant of the Creation. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
And Science said “let the waters under the Heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry appear”. For such, lands claimed a place from the waters, and time brought islands and continents. Seas were fertile and with the motherly instinct of Nature, created the simplest forms of life; they lived in such womb, until the voice of the dry called them to emerge. They grew and took the dry for their survival. God came down from Heaven, and walking on the dry, saw all the young was good for him, and extended his hand towards the everlasting horizon.
-“The dry will be called land, and the waters will be named seas. I claim you on my possession, since I was here when you were created”.
And the evening and the morning were the third day, another thousand years of slow growing. God used this time to explore the lands and the seas, claiming for his name all what Science created for Nature. Three more days passed, in which the deity tried to bind the secrets of Science for his purposes; for he saw that alone he was not to control all of this land. And he though of creating us in orders to control Nature through our manipulated existence.
In the sixth day God, being many, said, “let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping being that crawled upon the Earth. Let them have dominion over Nature, and imbue Science with the title of their servitude”. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him. And he made me. Together we were melded from the same clay, and brought to life with the same breath God stole from Nature. We were Lillith and Adam to rule on everything our eyes could see, our hands touch and our feet walk upon. With his words, we were blessed: “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moves upon the earth. Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that crawled upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat”. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. Night. God promised to give us the land to conquer, but instead we only received feeble flesh and stones for our delight. We saw him no more from that moment: he evanesced away for his own purposes, abandoning us to our misery.
Land had many faces to express herself. Our first steps were met with the angry expression of everlasting, blazing sands that wanted to engulf our feet and devour us. The caresses of the wind were raping our skins and erasing our footpaths, for which life was impossible for us. There was nothing in here for us, just our sacrifice for survival. A small cave, merely a whole in the ground, was our home until Adam came to me:
-“I am God’s only son, his favourite. Why should I exist in a place which can not supply nurture to me? This desert won’t become my abode for any longer, nor will this pile of rocks and pebbles be called ‘home’ anymore”.
-“This cave was our place of birth, and the nurture I have given you has cost my sweat. I’ve predated behind the rocks for days, so we could feed, and walked for long time so I could provide us with water. If you are God’s favourite son, talk to him and demand for us to live in plenitude instead of this. Until you receive an answer, I will remain in here, bleeding my hands for us”.
During the sunset Adam came out of the cave, raising his voice to our creator during days. My efforts were still to give us food and water, sun after sun. Entire nights I laid on the floor by myself, with no companion, for Adam’s absence was the only voice that cuddled my sleep. But God didn’t answer: the wind was still the same, and Nature still seemed to hate us. When Adam realized his efforts were useless, he turned to me again: “Stand up, Lillith. We leave on this day”.
I didn’t stop pealing the skin off a squalid rabbit that still moved in the last moments of anguish: “Did God answer your demands? I don’t recall having heard his voice or his promises of a better land”.
-“Stay if that is your will, but stay alone. My departure will have no turn back, and if I’m to abscond alone, God will provide me with a better companion”. Not saying another word, he turned around, leaving the cave to never come back. I sigh and have no more option but his.
Our feet attempted away from this torturing place, carrying us, who lamented having Nature opposed to our existence. We claimed to the divinity for days, begging in tears to be washed away or provided with his aid.
-“Is this your whole creation, God? Is this the land we are to replenish and subdue? There is nothing to have dominion upon, no creature to have control on, but to kill so we can barely feed. Shall we multiply and inherit others with this wasteland, so they have to suffer like us? Give us better, you created all we see”. But the silence born in the horizon was the only answer that ever touched our ears. Consumed and exhausted, we laid and ceased our claiming. As the hours escaped, the shadows engulfed us at last. We were safe from the sun, now exposed to the coldness… yet no fear took over us, for we didn’t know about Death. I dreamed: the colours took shape in the back of my eyes, in hand with clear sounds. I saw trees, lawn, and creatures flying like we never did. The breeze was not our foe but our ally, who allured the spirit of every living creature and fed it with joy. I walked, marvelled with this place, burning in desire of touching all of it, of possessing it with my power. My steps drove me to a place where the silence of the desert was king: under a vine I found our God, lazy and asleep, father of nobody, sleeping on dry leafs cried by the plant, while the roots of the trees around us escaped the life and crumbled to dust. My eyes admired the trees, as they slowly seemed to try to evade Nature’s enemy, and stopped in the branches: resting on them were numerous creatures similar to us in every aspect, but the fact that wings came out of their bodies. I came closer to one of them, long and red hair like mine, sleeping on a branch close to the ground. His skin decomposing on his flesh repulsed my senses, forcing me to give a step back, to find warm breath caressing my neck, passing its invisible fingers and shivering my spine. A small exhalation drove away from my chest, whispering into these creatures’ ears it was time to stop sleeping. Unhurriedly, they woke up. Each one of them stood on their feet, surrounding me without an exit. My lips, numb and frozen needed an eternal second to finally shout: “God! Help me!” but my voice ethereal was lost.
With the sound of my last bawl, I came into consciousness again to the world of agony we exist in; but the voices whispering in my dreams followed me to this realm. Before opening my eyes, Adam’s breath came to my ears to tell me I was already out of the nightmare. My skin was the games room of his lust fingers: while his chest pushed against my naked back, a hand swam deeply into the fire of my hair, and slid down my neck with ecstasy. His other hand caressed gently my chest, confusing the fear sweat with arousal. “Steps”, sang the wind. Adam didn’t appear to notice them, amused with the exploration of my tempting body, but my fist closed tautly as it did when nurture depended on preying. “Who is it?! Can’t be God, he left us behind…” Why did I panic?
My memory was brief seconds lost in a sense of insensate reality, in which my self- conscious fists disposed to subdue this night traveller. But the voice we were claiming for during weeks talked to us, before I could assault: “Immense is the world, down at our feet. Yet, I would distinguish my child where on Earth”. God proffered a hand: Adam took it and stood up from the sands.
At the same time that my perception came back, I ogled the Lord: behind the apparent tranquillity oozed an intensity I didn’t know to describe back then. I stood up again, more calmed, yet sceptic and cleaned the sand off my hair.
Erick