No time to say "Hello, Goodbye" I'm late I'm late I'm late!
So after 4 years at work, I finally get a write up. For I find a bit ridiculous on the subject of swiping in and logging in late. When others are clearly worse than I am and managed to get away with it, on several occasion. I’m not saying they never got one, but for some, it doesn’t prevent them from continuing but yet there’s still there. :/ I think that’s the most bitter I’ll be about it. Even when they sat me down, I wasn’t even going to fight it and go on about who does what. I just wanted to sign the bloody thing and everyone could be happy. Missed my bus and had to wait 45 minutes, but whatever. I’m home and now I have to think about what I’m going to do on Thursday.
The whole thing with my father is becoming complicated as he called me today and wanted to know when to drop by with my stuff. And I told him again, that I was working. He said he could drop by before I go and it’ll be at 9am. I’m not really too thrilled about waiting. And not only that he was asking if it were possible to sleep here after he returns from his meeting. And I said it shouldn’t’ be a problem depending on my shift the next day. Here is where I palm face, hard. Why I’ve opened my big mouth and agreed to it. I’m still annoyed by this whole ordeal. I want to say no, and that I don’t want him here; with this kind of situation, by ending up refusing his stay, makes me look like a disrespectful child after all the help what he’s done for me. Yes, he let me stay a year under his roof without rent but still. It shouldn’t exempt him from visiting me for over 5 years… -sighs- I think I’ll just let him, for that year of helping. I know it sounds horrible but I waited and gave him so many chances, and not just recently, but was in denial when I was younger that no he will pick up my sister and I for the weekend, summer and holidays; even though the parentals are still blaming each other for the reason why the visits were few. Birthday calls or visits, even for a moment, an hour. Again and again with another chance. It’s too nice, even for me. I can’t do it anymore. I. am. exhausted. of this. I will reply to his contact attempts and such, but I’m not really up to making ones of my own anymore. Again, it sounds horrible, but I tried for too long. It has to be an attempt on his part too. So depending on the posted shifts, I’ll see how long he’ll stay before I have to head to work. I’m not saying that I don’t love him. It’s just a little less and I could get by fine, perhaps even without his attempts. Here’s where everyone frowns and angrily tell me to stop complaining. :/
I’m also feeling a little more cynical than before. Again attempts to hang out with friends have become almost futile. It’s hard to hang out with no one with the same days off and such. It’s not much in funds that is required. I was hoping for more this summer. And now that Aurelie has moved, I don’t even have my Sunday TB hang out anymore either. It’s hard, especially with no one with the same interests. I don’t have many tries and it all seem to fail. So I’m almost forgetting the whole idea of not hermiting in my apartment. Also decided on no more group invites for Rocky Horror this year, just “I’m going, you can come meet me there” sort of thing. I put too much effort on certain occasions and events that it really is disappointing in end results sometimes.
Maybe I’m too tired of things. What I need is a long vacation. Or even a couple of days off in a row. Even if it means a tight budget.
UPDATE: Woke up this morning (Wednesday) to a text from my father. The meeting was apparently canceled. I can't say that I'm not surprised, nor disappointed. It was expected.
The whole thing with my father is becoming complicated as he called me today and wanted to know when to drop by with my stuff. And I told him again, that I was working. He said he could drop by before I go and it’ll be at 9am. I’m not really too thrilled about waiting. And not only that he was asking if it were possible to sleep here after he returns from his meeting. And I said it shouldn’t’ be a problem depending on my shift the next day. Here is where I palm face, hard. Why I’ve opened my big mouth and agreed to it. I’m still annoyed by this whole ordeal. I want to say no, and that I don’t want him here; with this kind of situation, by ending up refusing his stay, makes me look like a disrespectful child after all the help what he’s done for me. Yes, he let me stay a year under his roof without rent but still. It shouldn’t exempt him from visiting me for over 5 years… -sighs- I think I’ll just let him, for that year of helping. I know it sounds horrible but I waited and gave him so many chances, and not just recently, but was in denial when I was younger that no he will pick up my sister and I for the weekend, summer and holidays; even though the parentals are still blaming each other for the reason why the visits were few. Birthday calls or visits, even for a moment, an hour. Again and again with another chance. It’s too nice, even for me. I can’t do it anymore. I. am. exhausted. of this. I will reply to his contact attempts and such, but I’m not really up to making ones of my own anymore. Again, it sounds horrible, but I tried for too long. It has to be an attempt on his part too. So depending on the posted shifts, I’ll see how long he’ll stay before I have to head to work. I’m not saying that I don’t love him. It’s just a little less and I could get by fine, perhaps even without his attempts. Here’s where everyone frowns and angrily tell me to stop complaining. :/
I’m also feeling a little more cynical than before. Again attempts to hang out with friends have become almost futile. It’s hard to hang out with no one with the same days off and such. It’s not much in funds that is required. I was hoping for more this summer. And now that Aurelie has moved, I don’t even have my Sunday TB hang out anymore either. It’s hard, especially with no one with the same interests. I don’t have many tries and it all seem to fail. So I’m almost forgetting the whole idea of not hermiting in my apartment. Also decided on no more group invites for Rocky Horror this year, just “I’m going, you can come meet me there” sort of thing. I put too much effort on certain occasions and events that it really is disappointing in end results sometimes.
Maybe I’m too tired of things. What I need is a long vacation. Or even a couple of days off in a row. Even if it means a tight budget.
UPDATE: Woke up this morning (Wednesday) to a text from my father. The meeting was apparently canceled. I can't say that I'm not surprised, nor disappointed. It was expected.