A Better Christmas
I'm glad this Christmas is done. I think the past few years I was getting tired of looking for "that perfect gift" or "finding the perfect sale" or making sure that the gifts I bought for my friends were relevant for their personalities. It is also tough being away from my mom, who really cannot handle the loneliness of this holiday since her offspring moved away from her when we became adults. That is what happens, but I think she has a difficult time understanding the fact her children are now adults.
Anyway, Kevin and I are preparing to drive up to Chicagoland to spend time with his mom and his mentally-disabled sister. Almost immediately I begin to get annoyed. We didn't leave the house until 90 minutes after we wanted to. The tardiness was caused by me since I called my mom on Christmas morning. Naturally, she was an emotional wreck because she is lonely. That held us up. I usually like driving but when we left we had to drive in a light snow. I wasn't too worried, but I was still concerned about skids and accidents. Eventually we arrive at Marlene's house and unload our luggage, gifts, and cookies. Jan makes a bee-line for the cookies and begins to rummage through them. Kevin and Mom Price tell her that she cannot have one, but she takes a cookie anyway. I go up to Jan and ask her why she took a cookie after she was told not to eat one. She looks at me and actually says something like, "I already started eating it, so oh well." Whoa! I took the half-eaten cookie and thew it away in the trash. Kevin pointed at me in that "What are you doing don't do that again" kind of way. There was a hundred things Jan could have said that wouldn't have pissed me off, but she had to pick a phrase from the other list of one-hundred things that did piss me off. She came off like a petulant little girl and I can't handle that spoiled attitude. She also feigns for cigarettes constantly, but her mom regulates her intake. So she constantly shadows Mom Price because she is a hard-core addict. Near the end of the weekend both Kevin and Mom Price were getting really annoyed with Jan. All three of us had to constantly tell her to sit down and stop bothering Mom Price.
The other annoying aspect to the weekend was the fact that Mom Price is getting old and she has a difficult time remembering things from...five minutes ago. Everyone, at one point, has just been flaky for some reason. Old people tend to be this way to some degree, but this level of forgetfulness seems really severe for this woman. Mom Price had to ask Kevin or me what day it was. No big deal, but...she asked that question five times on Friday and twice on Saturday. Since she is so forgetful, she also has a hard time figuring out what she wants or needs to do next. Usually, Kevin and his mom will go out shopping to help her out, but actually getting her out the door is a chore in and of itself. Getting cleaned up, showering, and getting dressed is confusing and time consuming. Those tasks that would take most people approximately thirty minutes takes her 90. Once she accomplishes one thing she has a difficult time figuring out what has to be done next. Kevin has to constantly hover over her to keep her moving and focused. I have a feeling she is losing the ability to take care of herself. Her situation is doubly-worse considering she has to take care of her daughter who has a mental disability. I have a feeling her time of independence is coming to a close.
Since it takes Mom Price so long to get simple tasks done, Kevin and I didn't leave her house until...two hours past the point I wanted to leave. Kevin said that we would leave after we ate breakfast, but at the last minute him and his mom decided to exchange gifts at a department store. I knew, knew, that task would take twice as long as it should. They left for the stores at 12:15pm and didn't return until 1:45pm, I think. Since his mom is so forgetful, and because Jan needs constant supervision, I can guarantee they all spent at least 75% of that time just trying to figure out what to do next.
The weekend just seemed like a Weekend of Waiting. I am fairly lax, although when I want to get something done, I want to get it done. I see the goal and I accomplish the interim steps to get to that goal as efficiently as I possibly can. I don't want to wait, Wait, WAIT and try to coordinate scatter-brained people to try to get tasks done.
Inefficiency is one of my pet peeves.
EVENTUALLY, Kevin and I arrive back in Urbana. We didn't leave Chicagoland until 2:30pm, I think, which means we didn't arrive here until 5:30pm. The drive going south was treacherous. I was an emotional wreck (HA!) because the roads were in poor condition and there were wind gusts that rocked the Subaru. After we ate dinner we brushed aside plans to drive to Danville for a Christmas party. We both were not in the mood to spend another two hours on treacherous roads. BUT...!...we did exchange presents. I think that made up for my cranky mood. I bought Kevin some nice, functional thermal shirts and two nice sweaters. He got me lamb-skin slippers which look really expensive. I'll have to take care of them. We both really enjoyed our gifts.
Christmas is a time for family and friends, but at the same time I shouldn't feel aggravated. I don't know if this feeling is caused by my selfishness. I just found this weekend...annoying. I know Kevin loves his family, and I also know that I am part of his family since he chose me to be a part of him, but I just feel like this weekend could have been better for all of us. Kevin shouldn't have to manage his mother. Mom Price shouldn't have to manage her daughter. I shouldn't have to be bored and annoyed with petty family dynamics. I almost took a hit of weed when I returned to Urbana.
Next year I think I'll fly to Maine to visit my mom. It has been three years since we last saw each other. Besides, if I am going to be annoyed with forgetful parents, dysfunctional family dynamics, and travel in bad weather, I might as well spend that time with someone with whom I can tolerate those annoyances.
:|
⊗
Anyway, Kevin and I are preparing to drive up to Chicagoland to spend time with his mom and his mentally-disabled sister. Almost immediately I begin to get annoyed. We didn't leave the house until 90 minutes after we wanted to. The tardiness was caused by me since I called my mom on Christmas morning. Naturally, she was an emotional wreck because she is lonely. That held us up. I usually like driving but when we left we had to drive in a light snow. I wasn't too worried, but I was still concerned about skids and accidents. Eventually we arrive at Marlene's house and unload our luggage, gifts, and cookies. Jan makes a bee-line for the cookies and begins to rummage through them. Kevin and Mom Price tell her that she cannot have one, but she takes a cookie anyway. I go up to Jan and ask her why she took a cookie after she was told not to eat one. She looks at me and actually says something like, "I already started eating it, so oh well." Whoa! I took the half-eaten cookie and thew it away in the trash. Kevin pointed at me in that "What are you doing don't do that again" kind of way. There was a hundred things Jan could have said that wouldn't have pissed me off, but she had to pick a phrase from the other list of one-hundred things that did piss me off. She came off like a petulant little girl and I can't handle that spoiled attitude. She also feigns for cigarettes constantly, but her mom regulates her intake. So she constantly shadows Mom Price because she is a hard-core addict. Near the end of the weekend both Kevin and Mom Price were getting really annoyed with Jan. All three of us had to constantly tell her to sit down and stop bothering Mom Price.
The other annoying aspect to the weekend was the fact that Mom Price is getting old and she has a difficult time remembering things from...five minutes ago. Everyone, at one point, has just been flaky for some reason. Old people tend to be this way to some degree, but this level of forgetfulness seems really severe for this woman. Mom Price had to ask Kevin or me what day it was. No big deal, but...she asked that question five times on Friday and twice on Saturday. Since she is so forgetful, she also has a hard time figuring out what she wants or needs to do next. Usually, Kevin and his mom will go out shopping to help her out, but actually getting her out the door is a chore in and of itself. Getting cleaned up, showering, and getting dressed is confusing and time consuming. Those tasks that would take most people approximately thirty minutes takes her 90. Once she accomplishes one thing she has a difficult time figuring out what has to be done next. Kevin has to constantly hover over her to keep her moving and focused. I have a feeling she is losing the ability to take care of herself. Her situation is doubly-worse considering she has to take care of her daughter who has a mental disability. I have a feeling her time of independence is coming to a close.
Since it takes Mom Price so long to get simple tasks done, Kevin and I didn't leave her house until...two hours past the point I wanted to leave. Kevin said that we would leave after we ate breakfast, but at the last minute him and his mom decided to exchange gifts at a department store. I knew, knew, that task would take twice as long as it should. They left for the stores at 12:15pm and didn't return until 1:45pm, I think. Since his mom is so forgetful, and because Jan needs constant supervision, I can guarantee they all spent at least 75% of that time just trying to figure out what to do next.
The weekend just seemed like a Weekend of Waiting. I am fairly lax, although when I want to get something done, I want to get it done. I see the goal and I accomplish the interim steps to get to that goal as efficiently as I possibly can. I don't want to wait, Wait, WAIT and try to coordinate scatter-brained people to try to get tasks done.
Inefficiency is one of my pet peeves.
EVENTUALLY, Kevin and I arrive back in Urbana. We didn't leave Chicagoland until 2:30pm, I think, which means we didn't arrive here until 5:30pm. The drive going south was treacherous. I was an emotional wreck (HA!) because the roads were in poor condition and there were wind gusts that rocked the Subaru. After we ate dinner we brushed aside plans to drive to Danville for a Christmas party. We both were not in the mood to spend another two hours on treacherous roads. BUT...!...we did exchange presents. I think that made up for my cranky mood. I bought Kevin some nice, functional thermal shirts and two nice sweaters. He got me lamb-skin slippers which look really expensive. I'll have to take care of them. We both really enjoyed our gifts.
Christmas is a time for family and friends, but at the same time I shouldn't feel aggravated. I don't know if this feeling is caused by my selfishness. I just found this weekend...annoying. I know Kevin loves his family, and I also know that I am part of his family since he chose me to be a part of him, but I just feel like this weekend could have been better for all of us. Kevin shouldn't have to manage his mother. Mom Price shouldn't have to manage her daughter. I shouldn't have to be bored and annoyed with petty family dynamics. I almost took a hit of weed when I returned to Urbana.
Next year I think I'll fly to Maine to visit my mom. It has been three years since we last saw each other. Besides, if I am going to be annoyed with forgetful parents, dysfunctional family dynamics, and travel in bad weather, I might as well spend that time with someone with whom I can tolerate those annoyances.
:|
⊗