(no subject)
well....its over.
i knew it was coming, we all discussed it last nite when we were sitting in laurens room. we werent getting along at all. which sucks so bad. we were perfect until like a month ago. i was so mean to him and i wish so bad that i could take it all back.
it was just too hard with him being so much older too. i had to worry about differnt things that i would never have to worry about with people my age. i think you can figure those things out yourself. and there was such a trust issue, which he proved to me by what he did last night that i just couldnt trust him at all.
sitting there talking to him for the last time was so terrible. i sat there for 2 hours just crying. when i kissed im for the last time it was almost emotionless. he promised me that he still loved me as a friend, and that i can still call him whenever i want. at least it ended on somewhat of a good point, and we never yelled at eachother or anything.
erik was the first person i ever truly loved. our 6 month aniversary was supposed to be tomorrow.
the next few weeks are going to suck. there is no way that my summer is going to be the same without him. im going to wake up every day expecting a text from him, or to hear his voice on my voicemail. im so used to being in the routine of being with him every day that anything else is never going to be the same. for the first time all summer, all i want is to be back in school. and be with people my age all the time again. i want to be close with all of my old friends again. i just need a major change. kinda like a start over. so the first thing to go is this journal. at least for the rest of the summer, if not forever.
so goodbye all my online friends.
i still love you.
<3 jessica.
i knew it was coming, we all discussed it last nite when we were sitting in laurens room. we werent getting along at all. which sucks so bad. we were perfect until like a month ago. i was so mean to him and i wish so bad that i could take it all back.
it was just too hard with him being so much older too. i had to worry about differnt things that i would never have to worry about with people my age. i think you can figure those things out yourself. and there was such a trust issue, which he proved to me by what he did last night that i just couldnt trust him at all.
sitting there talking to him for the last time was so terrible. i sat there for 2 hours just crying. when i kissed im for the last time it was almost emotionless. he promised me that he still loved me as a friend, and that i can still call him whenever i want. at least it ended on somewhat of a good point, and we never yelled at eachother or anything.
erik was the first person i ever truly loved. our 6 month aniversary was supposed to be tomorrow.
the next few weeks are going to suck. there is no way that my summer is going to be the same without him. im going to wake up every day expecting a text from him, or to hear his voice on my voicemail. im so used to being in the routine of being with him every day that anything else is never going to be the same. for the first time all summer, all i want is to be back in school. and be with people my age all the time again. i want to be close with all of my old friends again. i just need a major change. kinda like a start over. so the first thing to go is this journal. at least for the rest of the summer, if not forever.
so goodbye all my online friends.
i still love you.
<3 jessica.