Day 1: OMG i wrote what?
So, the biggest debate in broaching my first post on the novel - do I stick with proper capitalization like a proper writer ought? or do i stick with my standard, personal preference of no caps in a journal entry? I decided after much pondering that the novel-related entries should be all proper-like even if I'm not proper in any sense of the word.
Gods, this is going to be a frightfully long process, isn't it?
Today was the super fabulous kick-off day of Teh Grand Novel v2.0 aka Burn 2.0. Which I celebrated by ... drinking coffee. Whatever, nectar of the gods, fuel for my brain. You know that scary anticipatory feeling of knowing you're starting up a life's dream with actual intent to achieve said dream?
It was somewhat absent today.
Today, of all days when I should be bouncing from the ceiling and off the walls. Instead, it was sort of like going back to an ex and having post-breakup sex. Old comfortable familiar hoodie, favorite pair of worn jeans, and a ponytail with a warm bowl of soup on a snowy day. You know that feeling.
Course, while I re-immersed myself in what I had written in Burn 1.9 today, I realized ...
Wow. That was really, really bad.
I seriously wrote that?
Not with the story itself, or the tales within the story ... but after having spent a good year developing a style that I felt comfortable in, rereading what I'd written nearly, gods, 3 years ago? It was ... stunning, to say the least. Humbling. The writing itself felt so ... childish.
Made me realize that no matter how good I might think my writing, I still have miles to go. Yes, I know, cliched cheesy line. But it's true. I think there's an inherent dose of ego that comes with art in general - after all, you're imagining/visualizing/creating something with the purpose of being sold and you believe it's good enough to merit the purchase by someone who is not a relative/friend. Not necessarily a bad thing - confidence is good. It just stings when you look at that confidence in written form and think "OMG, I wrote that?!?" Which is so incredibly frustrating because I want to be perfect now (and trust me, there was a *headdesk* moment involved), but at the same time kicks the competitor in me into high-gear. A personal challenge. Score. Bring it on. I'm going to get Burn 2.0 published, dammit.
Which, that attitude is good because what I'd written before is so very, very rough, and would have depressed the hell out of me had I not already been depressed by my failure to complete my Sudoku Mega puzzle w/ my morning (pot of) coffee. I cannot tolerate failure that early in the morning.
So, onwards. Day 1 down, a hopefully limited number of days to go until I reach my end goal: publication.
Easy, right?
*phibbles*
And, just for entertainment purposes, pictures of my knitting obsession (my other evil habit, mainlining coffee being the first).
The scarf I'm knitting for my mom (I think) for Christmas. Second lace scarf, this in done w/ doubled laceweight yarn on 5s. Unfortunately, as with most lace, the pattern doesn't pop until you block. Blah. But it looks really shiny - it's a double-leaf pattern with a lacy border.
Zoooooom. Close-up. You can see the pattern a bit more, maybe? At any rate, you can see the two yarns I used (as well as quite possibly horrible knit stitches - I'm new to knitting and self-taught! It's supposed to look like crap, right?). One's an emerald green, the other is kind of a robin egg blue. Combined, it kind of creates a nifty heathered effect up close, and a rich green-blue from afar. Pretty cool if I do say so myself.
And the yarn? To dye die for.
My first shawl attempt, 2nd ever lace project. I don't know if I can go back to regular knitting - I am so completely hooked on lace. I may be slow as hell, but I love the process. And the yarn - have I mentioned the yarn? Finally getting some length to this panel - basically this panel will be knitted twice w/ a unique panel #2 in the middle. I've got a long ways to go. Urf. But at least panel #1 is insanely easy and can be knitted while watching TV. Single yarn, knit on 3 circs I think.
Lacy-ness up close. Still can't really see the pattern - can't wait to see how it turns out once it's blocked - but look ma, swiss cheese!
The yarn. Oh, the wonderful yarn. Jaggerspun Zephyr 2/18 wool-silk. On cones. My choice to knit with for anything lace-y. I bought it after searching and searching for some relatively inexpensive laceweight yarn, and boy did I luck out with this pick. Seriously, talk about your yarnporn going on. Plus, it's got a nice defined stitch with little halo, so no fuzzin' up the lacework. And it's a 5040 yard cone. *purrs* No joining! Sweeeeet.
I bought boat-loads of it long ago, and now cannot buy any yarn for a while (hence the knitting with it doubled for the scarf for strength and bulky-ness) because I have 6 cones of it so like 30,000 yards of yarn.
That's a lot, even for a stash-fiend like me.
But what I really want is some cotton so I can make some wash cloths...
Gods, this is going to be a frightfully long process, isn't it?
Today was the super fabulous kick-off day of Teh Grand Novel v2.0 aka Burn 2.0. Which I celebrated by ... drinking coffee. Whatever, nectar of the gods, fuel for my brain. You know that scary anticipatory feeling of knowing you're starting up a life's dream with actual intent to achieve said dream?
It was somewhat absent today.
Today, of all days when I should be bouncing from the ceiling and off the walls. Instead, it was sort of like going back to an ex and having post-breakup sex. Old comfortable familiar hoodie, favorite pair of worn jeans, and a ponytail with a warm bowl of soup on a snowy day. You know that feeling.
Course, while I re-immersed myself in what I had written in Burn 1.9 today, I realized ...
Wow. That was really, really bad.
I seriously wrote that?
Not with the story itself, or the tales within the story ... but after having spent a good year developing a style that I felt comfortable in, rereading what I'd written nearly, gods, 3 years ago? It was ... stunning, to say the least. Humbling. The writing itself felt so ... childish.
Made me realize that no matter how good I might think my writing, I still have miles to go. Yes, I know, cliched cheesy line. But it's true. I think there's an inherent dose of ego that comes with art in general - after all, you're imagining/visualizing/creating something with the purpose of being sold and you believe it's good enough to merit the purchase by someone who is not a relative/friend. Not necessarily a bad thing - confidence is good. It just stings when you look at that confidence in written form and think "OMG, I wrote that?!?" Which is so incredibly frustrating because I want to be perfect now (and trust me, there was a *headdesk* moment involved), but at the same time kicks the competitor in me into high-gear. A personal challenge. Score. Bring it on. I'm going to get Burn 2.0 published, dammit.
Which, that attitude is good because what I'd written before is so very, very rough, and would have depressed the hell out of me had I not already been depressed by my failure to complete my Sudoku Mega puzzle w/ my morning (pot of) coffee. I cannot tolerate failure that early in the morning.
So, onwards. Day 1 down, a hopefully limited number of days to go until I reach my end goal: publication.
Easy, right?
*phibbles*
And, just for entertainment purposes, pictures of my knitting obsession (my other evil habit, mainlining coffee being the first).
The scarf I'm knitting for my mom (I think) for Christmas. Second lace scarf, this in done w/ doubled laceweight yarn on 5s. Unfortunately, as with most lace, the pattern doesn't pop until you block. Blah. But it looks really shiny - it's a double-leaf pattern with a lacy border.
Zoooooom. Close-up. You can see the pattern a bit more, maybe? At any rate, you can see the two yarns I used (as well as quite possibly horrible knit stitches - I'm new to knitting and self-taught! It's supposed to look like crap, right?). One's an emerald green, the other is kind of a robin egg blue. Combined, it kind of creates a nifty heathered effect up close, and a rich green-blue from afar. Pretty cool if I do say so myself.
And the yarn? To dye die for.
My first shawl attempt, 2nd ever lace project. I don't know if I can go back to regular knitting - I am so completely hooked on lace. I may be slow as hell, but I love the process. And the yarn - have I mentioned the yarn? Finally getting some length to this panel - basically this panel will be knitted twice w/ a unique panel #2 in the middle. I've got a long ways to go. Urf. But at least panel #1 is insanely easy and can be knitted while watching TV. Single yarn, knit on 3 circs I think.
Lacy-ness up close. Still can't really see the pattern - can't wait to see how it turns out once it's blocked - but look ma, swiss cheese!
The yarn. Oh, the wonderful yarn. Jaggerspun Zephyr 2/18 wool-silk. On cones. My choice to knit with for anything lace-y. I bought it after searching and searching for some relatively inexpensive laceweight yarn, and boy did I luck out with this pick. Seriously, talk about your yarnporn going on. Plus, it's got a nice defined stitch with little halo, so no fuzzin' up the lacework. And it's a 5040 yard cone. *purrs* No joining! Sweeeeet.
I bought boat-loads of it long ago, and now cannot buy any yarn for a while (hence the knitting with it doubled for the scarf for strength and bulky-ness) because I have 6 cones of it so like 30,000 yards of yarn.
That's a lot, even for a stash-fiend like me.
But what I really want is some cotton so I can make some wash cloths...