Past Loves and Future Stories - T - Emma/Spinner, Sean
Title: Past Loves and Future Stories
Category: Degrassi
Genre: Friendship/Romance
Ship: Emma/Spinner, Sean
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Degrassi Takes Manhattan
Word Count: 2,333
Summary: When Sean returns from war, he's got no assumptions over Emma… but this isn't at all what he expects.
Past Loves and Future Stories
-1/1-
Sean Cameron isn't stupid. He knows it's been a long time since he and Emma Nelson had anything between them. So yes, there was a spark when he left, but he thinks maybe he'll always have one with her, they were each other's first loves and that'll never change. Still, when he returns to Toronto, his army-issued duffel tossed over his shoulder and the strict swagger with which he walked evident, he can't help but want to see only one person. Her.
It's the fall of 2010, he's seen and done things in Afghanistan that he would happily forget any day of the week. He's happy to be out of the desert and back home, to where things make sense and he doesn't have to constantly be on the look-out. He can relax, even if he doesn't. His back is always up, his senses on high-alert, and he wonders how long they'll stay that way. Because in all honesty, he just wants to put what happened in the past and look to the future.
He hasn't even showered and he's already standing outside her house; he knows she's back in town and likely staying with her parents and so he finds himself hovering at her front door, standing on the stoop second-guessing whether he should knock or not. Finally, he gives it a swift rap of his knuckles and waits. There are voices on the other side, ones he remembers well, the same that tend to make him feel more at home, that he can trust in enough that he doesn't feel like something or someone is out to get him or his team.
Snake answers the door, takes one look at him and then grins. "Sean!"
He smiles, shoulders slumping with relief. For the first time since setting foot on Canadian soil he feels like he's really, truly home. "Hey, uh…" He resists the urge to rub the back of his neck like a high schooler feeling awkward. "I know it's short-notice, but I was hoping Emma was here…" He half-smiled. "I just got into town and I know I need a good few hours sleep, but…" He lets it trail off, because if anybody knows his history with Emma it's her step-dad. They had their ups and downs and maybe Snake didn't always approve of them being together, but in the end, before he left again, he'd been accepted, even humbled by Snake's understanding of him.
"Oh, Emma, uh…" He looks nervous, eyes darting. "You know… She's not here." He forced a smile. "I don't think…" He looked behind him, squinting at the clock. "She's probably off school, but, uh…" He sighed then, stepping out through the door and closing it behind him. "Look, Sean, she doesn't live here anymore. She's actually got a flat down on Adelaide Street West. But, y'know, she's probably working at The Dot about now, anyway, so…" He shook his head, lifting a shoulder apologetically.
"The Dot, okay…" He nods, stepping back.
He knows there's more to this; even before he had his training he could tell when there was something going on, when somebody was holding back. But he let it go, because if Snake doesn't want to tell him, he knows Emma will.
Their goodbyes are brief; he's sure he'll see Snake again soon and so he waves and walks back to his rented car. It's nice to be alone, even if he does want her company. With just him and the silent car, the smell of air conditioning rather than heat and sand, it's almost surreal, really. He hardly pays attention to the drive; he's been to The Dot so many times, he could get there with his eyes closed. Parking, he argues with himself about whether to toss his jacket and loosen up a bit, but decides to leave it on. Despite how long it's been and how happy he is to be home, he's proud of what he's done. He's part of the Canadian Armed Forces and he doesn't regret his decision to this day.
His gait is stiff as he walks to the front door of the familiar diner. A combination of nerves and anticipation make his palms sweat. When he steps inside, a bell rings above his head and while the diner is filled with mostly unfamiliar faces, he still grins. It's the same Dot, if a little remodeled. In fact, it's got new everything, though the original charm is still there. The groups of teenagers all over the place are like mirrors of his own friends; maybe they don't all look the same, but he's sure they'll live the same kind of mistakes and triumphs.
And there, at a new grill, is Spinner Mason; Sean wouldn't have called them friends over the years so much as acquaintances but the fact that he knows him is enough to make him smile. There's a laugh he knows well from his right and he turns to see her, to see Emma in all of her sweet glory, nodding her head at a customer before making her way back to the front, her hips swaying. She's just as beautiful as he remembers; probably more. Her golden blonde hair is piled on her head in a ponytail and dangly earrings brush her shoulders where she wears the black Dot apron. His feet are moving before his mouth and he's crossing toward her, feeling like life just gave him a kick in the ass in the right direction.
He's halfway there when he sees something he never expects.
Spinner and Emma are whispering close to each other. She's leaned in and looking up at him from beneath long, dark lashes, that same, mischievous smile Sean has seen a million times before. And then she tilts her chin in askance and in reply, Spinner leans down, slants his mouth across hers and they share a kiss amidst the chaos of customers. It's slow, passionate, a heady combination of their mouths and reaching hands, of in-drawn breaths between parted lips and the kind of fire he never thought he'd see between the two.
"Whoa, Commando, standing in the door is so not encouraged," a snarky voice says from his right.
He turns, slack-jawed, unable to respond to the girl as he's still stunned over what he saw.
"I know, right? PDA, much?" She scoffs. "I mean, I get that their newlyweds and all, but… Come on! It's been like half a year, when's the gag-worthy kissing gonna end?" When she gets no reply, she walks off toward her group of waiting friends, leaving him to stand and stare and ponder.
Half a year…
Newlyweds?
Emma and Spinner?
Spinner and Emma?
He wants to shake his head but he's still rooted to the spot, unable to do much more than gape.
Finally, they part and she's staring up at Spinner like he's given her the world; pollution, animal cruelty and war free. And Spinner grins back like he'd really give it to her if he could, if there was any way he could make it possible. They're exchanging banter and he's laughing into her neck, kissing her hair, and they can't stop touching each other long enough to notice anybody outside their little bubble.
He should leave.
He should interrupt.
He should…
Hell, he has no idea.
He came back to Toronto with only one thing on his mind; seeing her. He hadn't thought much past that one desire. Maybe, in the back of his head, during his tours in Afghanistan that never seemed to end, he'd dreamt of what it might be like to come home and find her there, to start up where they left off, just like always, just like they tended to do no matter the situation. But now he's standing in The Dot staring at his high school sweetheart, the former love of his life, and she's looking up at Spinner Mason, her husband, like nobody else could compare.
He decides to leave then, because it's all so clear.
But he bumps into the door and the bell rings, drawing attention.
"Sean?" Emma says, staring at him with those big, brown eyes of hers.
He looks from her to Spinner, his mouth slightly agape. He's not sure what he expects to see, maybe jealousy or worry or something in Spinner's face but all gets is a half-grin. As if… Like he's not even slightly scared that his being back might rock things. And he thinks that might actually say it all. At least with Emma's boyfriends in the past, he'd been thought of as The Sean, as her first love, her only love, the one she would always go back to. But Spinner wasn't suffering the same fears and Sean thought that might actually mean the past was finally just that.
"Hey… Em…" Sean lifts his hands, not sure what to do with himself as he walks further into The Dot.
"You're back," she says, surprised. Coming around the island, she walks toward him, her expression wide like she's seeing a ghost. "How are you?" She wraps him in a hug, tight and warm and… friendly. Where in the past she might've lingered, savored, she didn't now. Instead, she draws back and steps into Spinner's embrace from behind, as if she knows he'll be there, no matter what. Arm wrapped around her, Spinner holds her opposite arm while she reaches up and wraps her hands around his bicep affectionately and he can see this is something they do often, as if cocooning themselves from the outside world.
"Good. I… I'm good," he replies to her question. "I just… I got in and…" He shakes his head. "Felt like seeing a familiar face."
She smiles. "Worth the wait?" she asked, tipping her head.
He stares at her a second that seems to last forever. "Always is."
Her smile lightens and for a moment, he's sure she's seeing the old Sean, the way they used to be, but then she pauses, tips her head back, and looks to Spinner and finally she's looking at him again but not in the way he wants or expects. Like he's her long-lost friend and she's just happy he's okay.
"So spend a little more time with this familiar face." She pats Spinner's arm and then turns to face him. "A couple of Spinwiches for us to catch up over?" she asks him.
"Comin' right up," he agrees easily before kissing the tip of her nose and unwrapping himself from her.
"I'd make it for us," she tells him, lifting her hands, "But I'm officially not allowed to cook anything…" She grins. "Something about burning down the original Dot makes him shifty when I'm around the stove."
Sean's brow furrows; there's a story here, a big one, and he thinks it might just explain the very sudden coupling of her and Spinner. "You wanna fill me in?"
Her expression is soft, warm, when she nods. "Yeah, I think I do." She leads him to a table and they sit across from each other.
Spinner calls across the room for his drink order and he asks for coffee; he's tired, hasn't had much rest, and he needs the caffeine to keep him up. Spinner comes back to their table with two drinks, already knowing what Emma would like and leaves them to their catching up. He starts to think Spinner might be the most stable guy Emma's ever dated, being this okay with them hanging out right there in front of him. He knows if it was him, he'd be eavesdropping, watching every expression and hand gesture. But Spinner's back at the front, taking orders and laughing with customers; not a care in the world.
She's not worried either, instead stirring her strawberry milkshake and licking the spoon before glancing at her husband with something in her face as if they were sharing some private joke he wasn't privy to. He lets it go, waits for her attention to return to him, and when it does, he's not disappointed. Emma's always had a way of making him feel like he's the most important person alive. And right then, she's got her 'I'm listening' face on and she's ready for whatever he's got to say. There are a lot of words at the end of his tongue, most of them inappropriate given the situation, and some are overdue declarations that he knows she won't return. Instead, despite wanting to say something entirely else, he says, "You look happy."
And she grins, a warmth rising to her cheeks and her eyes that has a blooming effect on her that makes her whole face, her entire body, her very soul come to life in front of him. Her eyes dart only once, spotting Spinner across the room, and then she says, "I am… I'm really happy."
And for the first time in ten years, Sean knows that he and Emma are truly over, never to begin again. But seeing her smile, he can't be sad for the loss. A part of him closes then; getting the kind of closure he didn't know he needed. She's moved on, she's happy, she's… quite possible where she was always meant to be. He's still got a story ahead of him, a future that's not yet written, and while she's part of the past, he hopes she'll play a part in the future. Even if it's only as his friend, because he knows now that's all she'll be.
"So… You and Spinner?" he asks, leaving forward and resting his crossed arms on the table. He grins. "Let's hear it."
She smiles, her nose wrinkles. "I know, right?" She laughs lightly, eyes falling as if the memory makes her fall into some dreamy appreciation. "Let's just say that what happens in Niagara Falls does not stay in Niagara Falls…"
Much as it pains him to know, he can see that was one accident that turned out great.