Resolution
This summer, I auditioned for a new theatre company. I was cast as one of five roles in a show coming up in mid-November. It’s both the smallest cast I’ve ever been part of and the largest role I’ve ever had. It’s kind of overwhelming, but it’s not stressing me out too much.
It’s a musical, so I’ve had to learn how to tap dance. It’s not easy, but I’m a dancer, so I can fake it pretty well. I am practicing and getting better every day, and I’m confident I’ll have it down pat in the next six weeks, so that’s not stressing me out too much either.
The amount of time we have to rehearse prior to opening night is much less than any other show I’ve been in. For other shows, we started rehearsing in September for a show happening in late April - that’s almost seven months! For this show, we were rehearsing once a week in August, then amped it to three times a week after Labour Day until show time. That’s only about fourteen weeks, including the once a week in August - less than half the amount of rehearsal time I’m used to. My husband, a former professional actor, tells me that his company would only rehearse for six weeks before putting on a show. So apparently the amount of time we have is an immense gift! With this knowledge, I’m sure we’ll pull off a great show, so I’m not really stressing out about that either.
But do you want to know what I AM stressed about? My headshot. My stupid freakin’ headshot.
I’m not a professional, so I have never had professional headshots done. Until last year, I was never required to have one - all of my prior shows had a program where they had group shots only. Back in March 2018, I went through a similar panic when I discovered I needed one. I pored through all of my Facebook pictures, looking for something appropriate - and I found it! It was originally a picture of my friend K and me posing together in the dressing room before our show. Since it was pre-show, our makeup was perfect, and our hair had not yet been messed up from dancing. We both looked super cute. There were a few loose items in the background, but they could easily be cropped out. Best of all, K and I were close, but not actually touching, so I could crop her out without giving myself a dented head or extra eye. I did it, used the black and white filter, and voila! I had a gorgeous headshot that looks like me, but somehow better. Perfect! It became my go-to. In both 2018 and this past spring, it was posted in the venue at Front of House with my name under it so everyone knew who I was. When this new production asked for a headshot, I immediately sent this one.
The photographer sent me an email back saying that unfortunately this picture was only 30kb, and he needed about 2MB in order to properly blow it up to an 8x10. I was literally devasted. Look, I’m not an extraordinarily vain woman. I don’t think I’m a monster, nor do I think I’m the most beautiful thing to ever grace God’s green earth. I’m fairly photogenic, but I’m very particular about what photos I want used to represent me. In this show, I’m playing a NUN for crying out loud - I won’t look like myself! Front of House photos are the audience’s first impression of us, so it’s pretty important to me that I have a good photo! I am one of those people who take 15 shots to get the perfect one. The photographer offered to take my headshot for me next Sunday before rehearsal, but it will be the day after a very large, late party, and I will not look my best. Nor will I want to spend the time applying makeup and fixing my hair so that I can try (and FAIL) to look my best. And I’m fairly certain he won’t let me look at every picture and retake them until I’m satisfied… spoiler alert, I’m NEVER satisfied!
These people don’t know me very well, and as such, I am just under the assumption that they will judge me, so I need to present myself as perfect. The night before the photo session, I have a very fancy party to go to, where I will be dressed up with full makeup and nice hair. I think I’m going to be standing in front of a plain hotel wall taking some selfies from the neck up, or making my husband take some shots of me… and that’s what these people will have to use if they aren’t able to somehow magically make my dream headshot work for their front of house. Are they still going to judge me? You betcha - but at least if it’s a picture of MY choosing, I’ll still feel cute!
It’s a musical, so I’ve had to learn how to tap dance. It’s not easy, but I’m a dancer, so I can fake it pretty well. I am practicing and getting better every day, and I’m confident I’ll have it down pat in the next six weeks, so that’s not stressing me out too much either.
The amount of time we have to rehearse prior to opening night is much less than any other show I’ve been in. For other shows, we started rehearsing in September for a show happening in late April - that’s almost seven months! For this show, we were rehearsing once a week in August, then amped it to three times a week after Labour Day until show time. That’s only about fourteen weeks, including the once a week in August - less than half the amount of rehearsal time I’m used to. My husband, a former professional actor, tells me that his company would only rehearse for six weeks before putting on a show. So apparently the amount of time we have is an immense gift! With this knowledge, I’m sure we’ll pull off a great show, so I’m not really stressing out about that either.
But do you want to know what I AM stressed about? My headshot. My stupid freakin’ headshot.
I’m not a professional, so I have never had professional headshots done. Until last year, I was never required to have one - all of my prior shows had a program where they had group shots only. Back in March 2018, I went through a similar panic when I discovered I needed one. I pored through all of my Facebook pictures, looking for something appropriate - and I found it! It was originally a picture of my friend K and me posing together in the dressing room before our show. Since it was pre-show, our makeup was perfect, and our hair had not yet been messed up from dancing. We both looked super cute. There were a few loose items in the background, but they could easily be cropped out. Best of all, K and I were close, but not actually touching, so I could crop her out without giving myself a dented head or extra eye. I did it, used the black and white filter, and voila! I had a gorgeous headshot that looks like me, but somehow better. Perfect! It became my go-to. In both 2018 and this past spring, it was posted in the venue at Front of House with my name under it so everyone knew who I was. When this new production asked for a headshot, I immediately sent this one.
The photographer sent me an email back saying that unfortunately this picture was only 30kb, and he needed about 2MB in order to properly blow it up to an 8x10. I was literally devasted. Look, I’m not an extraordinarily vain woman. I don’t think I’m a monster, nor do I think I’m the most beautiful thing to ever grace God’s green earth. I’m fairly photogenic, but I’m very particular about what photos I want used to represent me. In this show, I’m playing a NUN for crying out loud - I won’t look like myself! Front of House photos are the audience’s first impression of us, so it’s pretty important to me that I have a good photo! I am one of those people who take 15 shots to get the perfect one. The photographer offered to take my headshot for me next Sunday before rehearsal, but it will be the day after a very large, late party, and I will not look my best. Nor will I want to spend the time applying makeup and fixing my hair so that I can try (and FAIL) to look my best. And I’m fairly certain he won’t let me look at every picture and retake them until I’m satisfied… spoiler alert, I’m NEVER satisfied!
These people don’t know me very well, and as such, I am just under the assumption that they will judge me, so I need to present myself as perfect. The night before the photo session, I have a very fancy party to go to, where I will be dressed up with full makeup and nice hair. I think I’m going to be standing in front of a plain hotel wall taking some selfies from the neck up, or making my husband take some shots of me… and that’s what these people will have to use if they aren’t able to somehow magically make my dream headshot work for their front of house. Are they still going to judge me? You betcha - but at least if it’s a picture of MY choosing, I’ll still feel cute!