Be like a duck

[saravit]

"Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath."
- Michael CaineMany people I know, especially those I call friends, are like this. They go about accomplishing their lives with quiet grace and dignity. Their lives are rich and they do not need to put it on public display for the world to see. That is because

Comments

[allofadoodah]

In Niqui's eyes everyone failed her and it upsets me that even I know I failed her. I have only known her for three years, other people have known her for much longer than I have. She is my closest friend and I have been good friends with Sven since we were in High School. I know how much he cares for the people in the household. So much so that it encouraged me to take an interest. Sven and Niqui are some of the most important people in my life. Lately I have been seeing many short comings that deeply bother my own ideas of what the household was about. Some of my concerns have been alleviated through conversation with other 3 Skulls. I have a lot of respect for the people in 3 Skulls and defiantly for the sub-chieftains. I don't intend to directly attack just the sub-chieftains or even just the ones who had found out about Sven. Maybe I am confused about how the house manages how involved it gets in the health and welfare of other members. I certainly am about the role sub-chieftains play. Honestly, how do you judge when it is time to intervene in a situation before it becomes worse or possibly dangerous? I'm not saying that any and every rumor be investigated and I know sometimes these kinds of things slip by during busy times. Some things seem to be getting addressed too late for any attempts to help to make an impact. I'm concerned about where things are going and what I might happen to be getting myself into has far as joining the household. I also don't want to see this as the reason Niqui leaves 3 Skulls.

[mobiboros]

Look, it comes down to this. We're all still people. Do some of carry "Rank" in the household? Yes. Have we been tasked with certain responsibilities to the household? Yes. Are we all asked to uphold the household rules and traditions? Yes Can we go to any member, even ones we aren't friends with (And yes, we're not all friends.) and ask for help? Yes.

But in the end, we're still human. We all still have our own lives and problems and sometimes we miss things. Did we miss that Niqui was suffering? It would seem we did. Did we rely on others to fill in information gaps? We did. And those fillings didn't seem to indicate that things were that serious.

I don't even know if we've met IRL but you seem like a good person and I can respect someone who stands up for friends. But don't let some of your pain at not living up to your own standards colour your view of others and fuel your feelings about the failings of others. We're all only human, and in the grand scheme of things it's not that no help was offered it just took longer for it to happen due to miscommunications.

The Subchiefs do their jobs. This past Pennsic showed us that they can make level-headed but tough decisions. But again, they're only human. And many of them are going through their own problems as well right now. Season always seems to be when problems pile up.

And, in the end, the household is made up of people and capable of greatness and failure just as any human endeavor.

[allofadoodah]

That is all well and good, however the main issue I had with the post was Saravit's remarks calling her immature and the overall holier than tao way he came off as well as the apparent agreement along with it.

[mobiboros]

And as I said, you are entitled to your opinion on that. I took offense at you laying perceived guilt on others.

My personal feeling is that the meaning of being an "Adult" is taking responsibility for your actions.

What this means to me (And why I agreed) in context of the original post is that adults ask for help or they don't. Asking doesn't necessarily mean stating clearly "I need help" but ones words and actions indicate whether a person does.

However as a corollary an adult doesn't get in peoples faces about not helping if there was not a clear indication help was needed. They thank those who did help them and accept that maybe people didn't know the whole situation and didn't dig deeper because a situation didn't seem to outwardly merit it.

[allofadoodah]

You are entitled to draw your own conclusions on that. It still does not make what was said that set me off any more uncalled for.