laugh for me, pretty baby
laugh for me, pretty baby
changmin ♥ junsu | yoochun ♥ junsu
oneshot | AU | pg-13
summary: Changmin thinks Junsu steals his laughter away.
warning: Real angst, though I can’t tell you why because it’d give the story away. Cliché and overused plot, unbeta-ed.
--
Changmin thinks Junsu steals his laughter away when he stumbles into Changmin’s life, and still hasn’t given it back.
They meet for the first time when Changmin just turned 12. He’s leaning against the wall beside the school gate, waiting for his mother to come and pick him up, when a boy walks in front of him…and trips over a tiny pebble.
What does Changmin do?
Of course he laughs, his face going beet-red as he presses a hand to his stomach, one finger pointing at the bespectacled kid who just tripped over a tiny pebble.
Then the boy looks up at Changmin. Changmin expects him to cry like a sissy or at least to be mad at him for laughing, but instead, the boy laughs out loud although there are tears in his eyes.
“I’m such a klutz! Eukyangkyang!”
Changmin stops laughing and feels just an iota of pain in his chest. Junsu is definitely something else.
*
They don’t become friends until they are 14, because they did not go to the same school until then. Changmin is about to smoke his first cigarette at the park near his house (because everyone who’s someone at school smoke and Changmin doesn’t want to be the geek everyone say he is), when Junsu suddenly comes up and snatches the cancer stick away from his pouting mouth.
“Oy!”
“Merong merong!”, Junsu taunts, laughter evident in his slightly high-pitched voice, holding the cigarette above his head. Changmin easily snatches back the stick, his greater height giving him an advantage. Junsu pouts and punches Changmin in the stomach - hard.
“Argh!”
“Merong merong!”, Junsu grabs the cigarette again, and this time he is smart enough to run from a steaming Changmin. Unfortunately Changmin caught him in three very long strides, but just before he could kill Junsu, he catches a glimpse of the discipline teacher from their school walking his dog - and realizes that Junsu just saved him from a very severe punishment.
Changmin is never good at making friends (he’s a loner who lives in his own world) but he makes a friend in Junsu.
*
Junsu comes to Changmin’s house everyday, saying that he’s bored and Changmin got the best games collection in the world. Changmin shrugs in nonchalance and allows the ever hyper boy to manhandle his Playstation console all he wants, because Changmin rarely plays it anyway.
He is sitting at the couch reading his Physics notes, going through the formulas and trying hard to memorize them for a test next week, at the same time willing his ears to block Junsu’s definitely high-pitched squeal every time his Dante managed to behead a doppelganger, when Junsu suddenly speaks,
“Min-ah.”
“Hmm?”
“How come you don’t laugh anymore?”
Changmin looks down, catches Junsu’s eyes behind his square glasses and shrugs,
“You steal all of my laughter, and laugh so much for me already. If I laugh and you laugh, everybody will go deaf.”
“Eukyangkyang! You’re so funny!”
“You’re weird.”
“Eukyangkyang!”
“Geez Su. You can’t stop laughing, can you?”
“I’m laughing for you! Eukyangkyang!”
Changmin smiles, and his heart clenches at Junsu’s words. Junsu takes a few seconds to calm down, his face flushed red when he's finally breathing like normal again.
“Min-ah.”
“Hmm.”
“Why do you study so much?”
“Because I don’t want to be stupid like you.”
Changmin is intentionally sarcastic, because this is the way he is around Junsu. He half-expects Junsu to take offense this time, but Junsu being Junsu, just laugh out loud again, barreling into Changmin and nearly throwing the console across the room. Changmin frowns and pushes Junsu away, annoyed.
“What’s so funny?”
“You said I’m stupid! Eukyangkyang!” Changmin really wants to shove a cushion on Junsu’s face to shut him up right now.
“What’s so funny about that?!”
“Don’t you get it? Me, stupid? Seriously?” Eukyangkyang, eukyangkyang, eukyangkyang.
Changmin’s eyes were wide with realization - he had forgotten that Junsu is the top student in his class, and ranked first in their school (Changmin was number 2, always the second best). He grimaces, face contrite as he realizes he had just turn the joke on himself.
*
They stay as closest of friends till the last year of high school. Changmin thinks it’s unfair that Junsu is always playing truant yet excels in his studies, when all Changmin does every waking moment is studying and trying to catch up to Junsu.
“Minnnnnnn-ahhhhhhh~”, Junsu sing-songs, and Changmin throws him a scathing look meaning to shut him up. Junsu breaks into a large grin and chuckles, grabbing Changmin’s hand and pulling him to the bench beside the field. Junsu doesn’t wear spectacle anymore now, opting for contact lenses instead, and Changmin thinks he looks sort of…cute.
“What?”
“I’m getting a boyfriend.”
Changmin’s heart leaps to his throat for a second. A confession? Now?
He gulps, nervous and tongue-tied all of the sudden, “Really?”
Junsu looks down, fingers twisting the hem of Changmin’s oversized jumper. Silence charms them for long awkward seconds, before Junsu suddenly whispers,
“Don’t you want to know who the person is?”
Changmin’s mouth goes dry, “W-who?”
Junsu fidgets, and his eyes are wide when he looks up at Changmin, “Park Yoochun.”
Changmin does not know who this Park Yoochun is, and thinks he never wants to know.
“Are you okay, Min-ah?”
“Uh?”
“Are you okay?”
Changmin pulls out the words from the back of his throat, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Junsu nods and sighs, and Changmin thinks it shouldn’t hurt as much as this.
*
Junsu starts dating Yoochun two weeks after that moment at the bench, and now both of them always go to Changmin’s place to hang out, manhandling the console together. Yoochun is a nice guy, always good-natured and it’s hard not to like him. It turns out that Changmin and Yoochun have Chemistry together, though he never noticed the boy before (Changmin still never bothers to make friends with people). The three of them have become sorts of besties, but of course it’s entirely different between Junsu and Yoochun. Changmin pretends he doesn’t mind the overt touching and the sneaky kisses they give each other when they think Changmin’s not looking, but his heart hurts so much every time Junsu laughs…because he knows the laughter is not his anymore.
Changmin blinks back the tears behind his eyelids. It was never his, who’s he kidding?
“Min-ah.”
Changmin opens his eyes to see both Yoochun and Junsu staring at him with a concerned look, their faces too close, too close for comfort. He frowns and pushes them off, muttering how they are invading his personal space. They collide with each other on the floor, laughing like idiots at themselves.
Changmin thinks they suit each other like two pieces of puzzles, and breaks his heart again at that.
*
London feels like home after 2 years, and Changmin feels like he's a different person already, maturing so much in the short span of time. Christmas came twice and he never goes back to Seoul - there’s nothing there for him anyway.
He chose to go on a separate way from Junsu and Yoochun after they graduated high school, and left without saying goodbye. The two probably hate him now because he’s such a ‘good’ friend. Changmin decides it is better they hate him than he hates them - because they don’t deserve the hate, ever.
“Max!”, a voice calls up from the door, and he sees Jaejoong’s head between the slight open of the door.
“Yo.”
“Wanna go clubbing? There’s this club, Yunho said it’s quite snazzy.”, Jaejoong says in his heavily accented English. Changmin smirks and stands up, closes his book and his heart.
“Stop trying to sound British, Jae. It's a major failure.”
Jaejoong gives him a hard one-touch on the stomach and suddenly it’s déjà vu - only this time, Changmin’s not in love and Jaejoong isn’t Junsu.
*
Six years and Changmin is now 28, working as a sound analyst at one of the top recording companies in Korea. Jaejoong is still his closest friend and also his coworker, a composer whose penchant for cheerful, pop melodies irritates Changmin so much it doesn’t make sense.
“Can you write anything other than happy songs, Jae? It’s getting old.”, Changmin says emotionlessly, taking the headphone off his ears. He’s been listening to Jaejoong’s newest composition - and like always, it’s just so happy that Changmin can’t stand it.
“Don’t blame me if I’m happy and in love.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He really doesn't want to give a damn.
Jaejoong pouts and swivels his chair to face Changmin, shoving a pen in Changmin’s direction.
“You, my friend, have a problem with happy things.”
“I do not.”
“Then tell me the last time you laugh.”
Changmin’s eyebrows hike his forehead, “I laugh at you all the time.”
“You don’t laugh, you smirked and went all sarcastic on me. I mean genuinely laugh…like this. Hahahahaha!”, Jaejoong demonstrates, his voice bouncing all over the place - loud, cheerful laughter, but not as beautiful as…
“Shut up, Jae. When I laugh is none of your business.”
“Touché.”
Changmin glares once and ignores the winning smirk on Jaejoong’s face, and continues on the piece he’s working earlier before Jaejoong interrupts him with his fucking happy songs.
*
“Changmin, is that you?”
Changmin turns around, his eyes widening as large as saucers when he sees Yoochun standing a meter away from him, his short spiky hair now long and messy.
“Yoochun.”
His breath is knocked out of him when Yoochun suddenly gives him a bone-crushing hug.
“Where have you been? It’s been so long.”, Yoochun says against his shoulder, and Changmin feels something wet seep through the thin of his shirt.
“Yoochun-ah.”, he doesn’t know what to say to Yoochun, because like he said, it’s been so long. Changmin thinks that it’s just understandable that eight years make the best of friends turn to strangers.
“We missed you so much.”
We? Did Yoochun mean him and…Junsu?
“I…”, Changmin holds Yoochun close, and hopes the words he needs come to him now, “…miss you guys too.”
“Min-ah…have you heard…?”
“Heard what?”
“Oh God you haven’t…”
“Haven’t what? Heard what?”, Changmin asks impatiently, as dread starts coiling at the pit of his stomach.
“About Junsu…”
“Junsu? What about Junsu?”
“Junsu…”, Yoochun starts again, before he starts crying and sobbing like a child, holding on the sleeves of Changmin’s shirt. Apprehension washes all over Changmin, his heart beating fast in his ribcage that it hurts.
“Junsu?”
“Changmin-ah…Junsu…Junsu’s gone.”
“W-what?”
“He passed away 5 years ago.”
Changmin sees the world gradually turns gray and then black, and he passes out in Yoochun’s arms.
*
Changmin finds out later that Junsu had known he had blood cancer when they were in high school. That explains why Junsu was never in school, and that when Changmin asked why, he just laughed and said he’s too smart already.
“Junsu…why did...he never told me.”, Changmin says softly, tears flowing steadily down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Min-ah, I’m really sorry. He told me to keep this a secret.”
Changmin looks at Yoochun, eyebrows wrinkling in confusion, “A secret? But why?”
Yoochun chuckles, all teary and sad, “He said he doesn’t want you to be sad when he dies…stupid Junsu…how could anyone not be sad when he dies? I was at the hospital visiting my mother when I met him, Min. We got to talking and he told me about you. He told me how important you are to him, and that he couldn’t think of ways to break the news of his illness to you…said you will break into pieces if you knew. He told me you don’t have any other friends, and he worries that you won’t make any if you don’t move on from him. So he asked me to help him...make you hate him so he could go in peace and you wouldn’t be sad when he does. I refused at first…but you know Junsu, he has a way to make people gives in with whatever he wants. Junsu knows you’re in love with him, Min-ah…he knows. He knows all along. He wants you to forget him and moves on…taking his laughter with you.”
Changmin looks down into his palms, Junsu’s cheerful face all too clear in his tear-hazed eyes. It is just too painful, too painful, too painful-
Min-ah.
Hmm?
How come you don’t laugh anymore?
You steal all of my laughter, and laugh so much for me already. If I laugh and you laugh, everybody will go deaf.
Eukyangkyang! You’re so funny!
You’re weird.
Eukyangkyang!
Geez Su. You can’t stop laughing, can you?
I’m laughing for you! Eukyangkyang!
Changmin thinks Junsu steals his laughter away when he stumbles into Changmin’s life, and still hasn’t given it back.
--[THE END]
a/n: first minsu and it’s angsty. ack. junsuya forgives me. ;___; the ending was kind of abrupt - but I can’t continue anymore coz this just breaks me. i shouldn't be allowed to write when i'm sick - it makes me homicidal. aish.
changmin ♥ junsu | yoochun ♥ junsu
oneshot | AU | pg-13
summary: Changmin thinks Junsu steals his laughter away.
warning: Real angst, though I can’t tell you why because it’d give the story away. Cliché and overused plot, unbeta-ed.
--
Changmin thinks Junsu steals his laughter away when he stumbles into Changmin’s life, and still hasn’t given it back.
They meet for the first time when Changmin just turned 12. He’s leaning against the wall beside the school gate, waiting for his mother to come and pick him up, when a boy walks in front of him…and trips over a tiny pebble.
What does Changmin do?
Of course he laughs, his face going beet-red as he presses a hand to his stomach, one finger pointing at the bespectacled kid who just tripped over a tiny pebble.
Then the boy looks up at Changmin. Changmin expects him to cry like a sissy or at least to be mad at him for laughing, but instead, the boy laughs out loud although there are tears in his eyes.
“I’m such a klutz! Eukyangkyang!”
Changmin stops laughing and feels just an iota of pain in his chest. Junsu is definitely something else.
*
They don’t become friends until they are 14, because they did not go to the same school until then. Changmin is about to smoke his first cigarette at the park near his house (because everyone who’s someone at school smoke and Changmin doesn’t want to be the geek everyone say he is), when Junsu suddenly comes up and snatches the cancer stick away from his pouting mouth.
“Oy!”
“Merong merong!”, Junsu taunts, laughter evident in his slightly high-pitched voice, holding the cigarette above his head. Changmin easily snatches back the stick, his greater height giving him an advantage. Junsu pouts and punches Changmin in the stomach - hard.
“Argh!”
“Merong merong!”, Junsu grabs the cigarette again, and this time he is smart enough to run from a steaming Changmin. Unfortunately Changmin caught him in three very long strides, but just before he could kill Junsu, he catches a glimpse of the discipline teacher from their school walking his dog - and realizes that Junsu just saved him from a very severe punishment.
Changmin is never good at making friends (he’s a loner who lives in his own world) but he makes a friend in Junsu.
*
Junsu comes to Changmin’s house everyday, saying that he’s bored and Changmin got the best games collection in the world. Changmin shrugs in nonchalance and allows the ever hyper boy to manhandle his Playstation console all he wants, because Changmin rarely plays it anyway.
He is sitting at the couch reading his Physics notes, going through the formulas and trying hard to memorize them for a test next week, at the same time willing his ears to block Junsu’s definitely high-pitched squeal every time his Dante managed to behead a doppelganger, when Junsu suddenly speaks,
“Min-ah.”
“Hmm?”
“How come you don’t laugh anymore?”
Changmin looks down, catches Junsu’s eyes behind his square glasses and shrugs,
“You steal all of my laughter, and laugh so much for me already. If I laugh and you laugh, everybody will go deaf.”
“Eukyangkyang! You’re so funny!”
“You’re weird.”
“Eukyangkyang!”
“Geez Su. You can’t stop laughing, can you?”
“I’m laughing for you! Eukyangkyang!”
Changmin smiles, and his heart clenches at Junsu’s words. Junsu takes a few seconds to calm down, his face flushed red when he's finally breathing like normal again.
“Min-ah.”
“Hmm.”
“Why do you study so much?”
“Because I don’t want to be stupid like you.”
Changmin is intentionally sarcastic, because this is the way he is around Junsu. He half-expects Junsu to take offense this time, but Junsu being Junsu, just laugh out loud again, barreling into Changmin and nearly throwing the console across the room. Changmin frowns and pushes Junsu away, annoyed.
“What’s so funny?”
“You said I’m stupid! Eukyangkyang!” Changmin really wants to shove a cushion on Junsu’s face to shut him up right now.
“What’s so funny about that?!”
“Don’t you get it? Me, stupid? Seriously?” Eukyangkyang, eukyangkyang, eukyangkyang.
Changmin’s eyes were wide with realization - he had forgotten that Junsu is the top student in his class, and ranked first in their school (Changmin was number 2, always the second best). He grimaces, face contrite as he realizes he had just turn the joke on himself.
*
They stay as closest of friends till the last year of high school. Changmin thinks it’s unfair that Junsu is always playing truant yet excels in his studies, when all Changmin does every waking moment is studying and trying to catch up to Junsu.
“Minnnnnnn-ahhhhhhh~”, Junsu sing-songs, and Changmin throws him a scathing look meaning to shut him up. Junsu breaks into a large grin and chuckles, grabbing Changmin’s hand and pulling him to the bench beside the field. Junsu doesn’t wear spectacle anymore now, opting for contact lenses instead, and Changmin thinks he looks sort of…cute.
“What?”
“I’m getting a boyfriend.”
Changmin’s heart leaps to his throat for a second. A confession? Now?
He gulps, nervous and tongue-tied all of the sudden, “Really?”
Junsu looks down, fingers twisting the hem of Changmin’s oversized jumper. Silence charms them for long awkward seconds, before Junsu suddenly whispers,
“Don’t you want to know who the person is?”
Changmin’s mouth goes dry, “W-who?”
Junsu fidgets, and his eyes are wide when he looks up at Changmin, “Park Yoochun.”
Changmin does not know who this Park Yoochun is, and thinks he never wants to know.
“Are you okay, Min-ah?”
“Uh?”
“Are you okay?”
Changmin pulls out the words from the back of his throat, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Junsu nods and sighs, and Changmin thinks it shouldn’t hurt as much as this.
*
Junsu starts dating Yoochun two weeks after that moment at the bench, and now both of them always go to Changmin’s place to hang out, manhandling the console together. Yoochun is a nice guy, always good-natured and it’s hard not to like him. It turns out that Changmin and Yoochun have Chemistry together, though he never noticed the boy before (Changmin still never bothers to make friends with people). The three of them have become sorts of besties, but of course it’s entirely different between Junsu and Yoochun. Changmin pretends he doesn’t mind the overt touching and the sneaky kisses they give each other when they think Changmin’s not looking, but his heart hurts so much every time Junsu laughs…because he knows the laughter is not his anymore.
Changmin blinks back the tears behind his eyelids. It was never his, who’s he kidding?
“Min-ah.”
Changmin opens his eyes to see both Yoochun and Junsu staring at him with a concerned look, their faces too close, too close for comfort. He frowns and pushes them off, muttering how they are invading his personal space. They collide with each other on the floor, laughing like idiots at themselves.
Changmin thinks they suit each other like two pieces of puzzles, and breaks his heart again at that.
*
London feels like home after 2 years, and Changmin feels like he's a different person already, maturing so much in the short span of time. Christmas came twice and he never goes back to Seoul - there’s nothing there for him anyway.
He chose to go on a separate way from Junsu and Yoochun after they graduated high school, and left without saying goodbye. The two probably hate him now because he’s such a ‘good’ friend. Changmin decides it is better they hate him than he hates them - because they don’t deserve the hate, ever.
“Max!”, a voice calls up from the door, and he sees Jaejoong’s head between the slight open of the door.
“Yo.”
“Wanna go clubbing? There’s this club, Yunho said it’s quite snazzy.”, Jaejoong says in his heavily accented English. Changmin smirks and stands up, closes his book and his heart.
“Stop trying to sound British, Jae. It's a major failure.”
Jaejoong gives him a hard one-touch on the stomach and suddenly it’s déjà vu - only this time, Changmin’s not in love and Jaejoong isn’t Junsu.
*
Six years and Changmin is now 28, working as a sound analyst at one of the top recording companies in Korea. Jaejoong is still his closest friend and also his coworker, a composer whose penchant for cheerful, pop melodies irritates Changmin so much it doesn’t make sense.
“Can you write anything other than happy songs, Jae? It’s getting old.”, Changmin says emotionlessly, taking the headphone off his ears. He’s been listening to Jaejoong’s newest composition - and like always, it’s just so happy that Changmin can’t stand it.
“Don’t blame me if I’m happy and in love.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He really doesn't want to give a damn.
Jaejoong pouts and swivels his chair to face Changmin, shoving a pen in Changmin’s direction.
“You, my friend, have a problem with happy things.”
“I do not.”
“Then tell me the last time you laugh.”
Changmin’s eyebrows hike his forehead, “I laugh at you all the time.”
“You don’t laugh, you smirked and went all sarcastic on me. I mean genuinely laugh…like this. Hahahahaha!”, Jaejoong demonstrates, his voice bouncing all over the place - loud, cheerful laughter, but not as beautiful as…
“Shut up, Jae. When I laugh is none of your business.”
“Touché.”
Changmin glares once and ignores the winning smirk on Jaejoong’s face, and continues on the piece he’s working earlier before Jaejoong interrupts him with his fucking happy songs.
*
“Changmin, is that you?”
Changmin turns around, his eyes widening as large as saucers when he sees Yoochun standing a meter away from him, his short spiky hair now long and messy.
“Yoochun.”
His breath is knocked out of him when Yoochun suddenly gives him a bone-crushing hug.
“Where have you been? It’s been so long.”, Yoochun says against his shoulder, and Changmin feels something wet seep through the thin of his shirt.
“Yoochun-ah.”, he doesn’t know what to say to Yoochun, because like he said, it’s been so long. Changmin thinks that it’s just understandable that eight years make the best of friends turn to strangers.
“We missed you so much.”
We? Did Yoochun mean him and…Junsu?
“I…”, Changmin holds Yoochun close, and hopes the words he needs come to him now, “…miss you guys too.”
“Min-ah…have you heard…?”
“Heard what?”
“Oh God you haven’t…”
“Haven’t what? Heard what?”, Changmin asks impatiently, as dread starts coiling at the pit of his stomach.
“About Junsu…”
“Junsu? What about Junsu?”
“Junsu…”, Yoochun starts again, before he starts crying and sobbing like a child, holding on the sleeves of Changmin’s shirt. Apprehension washes all over Changmin, his heart beating fast in his ribcage that it hurts.
“Junsu?”
“Changmin-ah…Junsu…Junsu’s gone.”
“W-what?”
“He passed away 5 years ago.”
Changmin sees the world gradually turns gray and then black, and he passes out in Yoochun’s arms.
*
Changmin finds out later that Junsu had known he had blood cancer when they were in high school. That explains why Junsu was never in school, and that when Changmin asked why, he just laughed and said he’s too smart already.
“Junsu…why did...he never told me.”, Changmin says softly, tears flowing steadily down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Min-ah, I’m really sorry. He told me to keep this a secret.”
Changmin looks at Yoochun, eyebrows wrinkling in confusion, “A secret? But why?”
Yoochun chuckles, all teary and sad, “He said he doesn’t want you to be sad when he dies…stupid Junsu…how could anyone not be sad when he dies? I was at the hospital visiting my mother when I met him, Min. We got to talking and he told me about you. He told me how important you are to him, and that he couldn’t think of ways to break the news of his illness to you…said you will break into pieces if you knew. He told me you don’t have any other friends, and he worries that you won’t make any if you don’t move on from him. So he asked me to help him...make you hate him so he could go in peace and you wouldn’t be sad when he does. I refused at first…but you know Junsu, he has a way to make people gives in with whatever he wants. Junsu knows you’re in love with him, Min-ah…he knows. He knows all along. He wants you to forget him and moves on…taking his laughter with you.”
Changmin looks down into his palms, Junsu’s cheerful face all too clear in his tear-hazed eyes. It is just too painful, too painful, too painful-
Min-ah.
Hmm?
How come you don’t laugh anymore?
You steal all of my laughter, and laugh so much for me already. If I laugh and you laugh, everybody will go deaf.
Eukyangkyang! You’re so funny!
You’re weird.
Eukyangkyang!
Geez Su. You can’t stop laughing, can you?
I’m laughing for you! Eukyangkyang!
Changmin thinks Junsu steals his laughter away when he stumbles into Changmin’s life, and still hasn’t given it back.
--[THE END]
a/n: first minsu and it’s angsty. ack. junsuya forgives me. ;___; the ending was kind of abrupt - but I can’t continue anymore coz this just breaks me. i shouldn't be allowed to write when i'm sick - it makes me homicidal. aish.