"Traveling at the Speed of Volvo"
valancy_s was home for a bit, so we decided to watch the Rifftrax to "Twilight." It was an EXCELLENT DECISION. When the Blockbuster clerk found out why we wanted the movie he even chipped in a quarter towards the rental fee. How about THAT?
Downloading the rifftrax as an mp3 cost $3.99; synchronizing it with the movie was a bit challenging at times, especially when the DVD started skipping, but valancy soon had a handle on everything.
I saved some choice riffs, but it is well worth watching the whole thing through.
Some great Riffs on Edward:
* Edward is “the love child of Matthew Perry and Powder”
* Between his paleness and clamminess, “it’s almost like you’re British!”
* He's “an off-brand version of Johnny Depp wearing Body Glitter”
* To sum him up? “tall and bland, with Eraserhead hair!”
On Bella:
* On her forbidden love for Edward the "killer": “she once threw herself into the hyena exhibit at the zoo”
* On the scene where Edward and Bella are lying in the mountaintop meadow and Edward is glittering all over the place with his sparkles: "They can’t even work up the energy for furtive mumbling anymore, they’re just gonna lie there for the rest of the movie”
* Bella voiceover: "Edward was a vampire."
Riff: "Or a member of The Cure."
* Bella's Mom, upon hearing that Bella has met a boy: "Are you being safe?"
Riff: "Are you using garlic?"
* “She loves him based on him not killing her. That’s healthy."
* My personal favorite: “She makes Sylvia Plath seem like Cyndi Lauper!”
Some Random Riffs:
When the enemy vampires reach the baseball field: “Oh my god it’s Fairport Convention; they’re going to kill us with Celtic Rock!”
Dad, when Bella returns from her date with Edward: "Did he hurt you?"
Riff: "In the sense that boredom can be painful? Yes."
Rosalie rubs Bella’s scent on the tree to misdirect James: “The Giving Tree FINALLY GETS SOME!”
Riff about James: “Show your vampire teeth all you want, the ponytail still makes you look douchey!”
Also on James: “Least sinister movie villain since that floating plastic bag in American Beauty.”
* On Edward's neck-kissing obsession: “This may be construed by some as a metaphor for sex and virginity, but for me it’s a metaphor for a song by Meatloaf.”
Downloading the rifftrax as an mp3 cost $3.99; synchronizing it with the movie was a bit challenging at times, especially when the DVD started skipping, but valancy soon had a handle on everything.
I saved some choice riffs, but it is well worth watching the whole thing through.
Some great Riffs on Edward:
* Edward is “the love child of Matthew Perry and Powder”
* Between his paleness and clamminess, “it’s almost like you’re British!”
* He's “an off-brand version of Johnny Depp wearing Body Glitter”
* To sum him up? “tall and bland, with Eraserhead hair!”
On Bella:
* On her forbidden love for Edward the "killer": “she once threw herself into the hyena exhibit at the zoo”
* On the scene where Edward and Bella are lying in the mountaintop meadow and Edward is glittering all over the place with his sparkles: "They can’t even work up the energy for furtive mumbling anymore, they’re just gonna lie there for the rest of the movie”
* Bella voiceover: "Edward was a vampire."
Riff: "Or a member of The Cure."
* Bella's Mom, upon hearing that Bella has met a boy: "Are you being safe?"
Riff: "Are you using garlic?"
* “She loves him based on him not killing her. That’s healthy."
* My personal favorite: “She makes Sylvia Plath seem like Cyndi Lauper!”
Some Random Riffs:
When the enemy vampires reach the baseball field: “Oh my god it’s Fairport Convention; they’re going to kill us with Celtic Rock!”
Dad, when Bella returns from her date with Edward: "Did he hurt you?"
Riff: "In the sense that boredom can be painful? Yes."
Rosalie rubs Bella’s scent on the tree to misdirect James: “The Giving Tree FINALLY GETS SOME!”
Riff about James: “Show your vampire teeth all you want, the ponytail still makes you look douchey!”
Also on James: “Least sinister movie villain since that floating plastic bag in American Beauty.”
* On Edward's neck-kissing obsession: “This may be construed by some as a metaphor for sex and virginity, but for me it’s a metaphor for a song by Meatloaf.”
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