kill me, please. :/
The State of Things
Metal Gear: Can't take this on. It's more than a two-week project at the best of times. Have left message. This may lose me friends from the insinuations given me when I was asked, and that's a damn shame, but it simply cannot be done that fast. I can't bend reality. [edit: Metal Gear mkII, the plushie. ^_^;]
Random ROD Agent: Has to be scrapped. I really wanted to do this, too, and I'm kind of upset, but there's just no time. This leaves me Kagura for one day and nothing for the other two. Urgh. Let's not think about that right now.
Acolyte: Only thing left is the shoulder armor. Ph33r. Also, I realized while zooming in really close on the shoulder armor that the bottom hem is all burned-looking. FUCKWEASELS. S'pose I could fake that; we'll leave that for last.
The buyer whose costume is due at ACen seems irritated that I'm not done yet. It's at about half, and the entire month of April is dedicated to finishing it. There's nothing else that I can do. I am very frustrated about that.
This is the outcome of bad time management. I've been working hard since January, but I should have been working hard since August. It seemed mistily far away back then. I did half a dozen pieces, but I didn't work consistently. This is the result.
I am not taking any commissions next year. I can't take this anymore. I need some time off. I'll finish everything I've been charged with so far, but then I need a break. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, dammitall. And working on things is fun, but the wolves-at-the-door feeling isn't going away either. A few, here and there? Fun. Eight in one year, maybe nine, not counting my own and all the table stuff? Fucking deathmarch. Mind you, I decided to do it, and if anyone apologizes I will bite their heads off. I am not fucking kidding; don't push me.
I need to learn and obey my own limits, not blindly saying yes to everyone just to make them happy. That's the take-home lesson here. You cannot, in fact, please everyone. They will whine and make sad faces, and some will insinuate that they won't be your friend anymore if you don't do what they say. Fuck that manipulative noise. I am sympathetic to a point, but there is a limit to what one human can do, and everyone should know that and respect my happiness and well-being as well as their own. Note: when they ask. After I take on a challenge, it's my responsibility. But if you ask me and I say I can't, respect that.
Having limits doesn't make you weak; it makes you realistic. If indeed you can assess them realistically and not out of fear [downward] or hubris [upward] (THERE'S THAT WORD AGAIN, I think it's the word of the week).
I will take a year off in 2007, apart from small craft stuff for the table or similar endeavors. Plushies, things like that, all good. When I return in 2008 (after everyone's forgotten about me or decided I'm a bitch), I will set limits. Like four a year. Period. Probably first-come first-served. And no requests less than two months ahead of time.
Actually, last week I drew up a draft of a contract. I will also finalize that and start using it. This is what you need to do. This is what I need to do. NO WHINING.
The problem is that my hobbies have intersected with a way to entertain people. That comes around so infrequently for me that I did jump at it a bit. Hooray, a way to be useful! Only there's a breaking point, and I think I'll be at it around August 6. I need to assess this before I put myself through it again.
A hard-and-fast rule also gives me an out for saying no, because seriously, I don't know how to say no. I was never taught. I was taught to make people happy so that they'd like you, and that means acquiescing at every turn. But if I can say "Sorry, I've already decided, nothing in 2007 under any circumstances," I can escape.
Seriously, people, I am not that good. Let's be real here. There are dozens if not hundreds of costumers out there with more talent than I'll ever have in a lifetime. I am cheap, but that's because I'm not very good. Money is cheap. Quality is not. Save up. Really.
I feel like I should feel like a worthless bastard, but I actually feel better, which probably proves that I AM a worthless bastard. Oh well, at least it's loose and not running in crazed little circles in the back of my brain.
Metal Gear: Can't take this on. It's more than a two-week project at the best of times. Have left message. This may lose me friends from the insinuations given me when I was asked, and that's a damn shame, but it simply cannot be done that fast. I can't bend reality. [edit: Metal Gear mkII, the plushie. ^_^;]
Random ROD Agent: Has to be scrapped. I really wanted to do this, too, and I'm kind of upset, but there's just no time. This leaves me Kagura for one day and nothing for the other two. Urgh. Let's not think about that right now.
Acolyte: Only thing left is the shoulder armor. Ph33r. Also, I realized while zooming in really close on the shoulder armor that the bottom hem is all burned-looking. FUCKWEASELS. S'pose I could fake that; we'll leave that for last.
The buyer whose costume is due at ACen seems irritated that I'm not done yet. It's at about half, and the entire month of April is dedicated to finishing it. There's nothing else that I can do. I am very frustrated about that.
This is the outcome of bad time management. I've been working hard since January, but I should have been working hard since August. It seemed mistily far away back then. I did half a dozen pieces, but I didn't work consistently. This is the result.
I am not taking any commissions next year. I can't take this anymore. I need some time off. I'll finish everything I've been charged with so far, but then I need a break. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, dammitall. And working on things is fun, but the wolves-at-the-door feeling isn't going away either. A few, here and there? Fun. Eight in one year, maybe nine, not counting my own and all the table stuff? Fucking deathmarch. Mind you, I decided to do it, and if anyone apologizes I will bite their heads off. I am not fucking kidding; don't push me.
I need to learn and obey my own limits, not blindly saying yes to everyone just to make them happy. That's the take-home lesson here. You cannot, in fact, please everyone. They will whine and make sad faces, and some will insinuate that they won't be your friend anymore if you don't do what they say. Fuck that manipulative noise. I am sympathetic to a point, but there is a limit to what one human can do, and everyone should know that and respect my happiness and well-being as well as their own. Note: when they ask. After I take on a challenge, it's my responsibility. But if you ask me and I say I can't, respect that.
Having limits doesn't make you weak; it makes you realistic. If indeed you can assess them realistically and not out of fear [downward] or hubris [upward] (THERE'S THAT WORD AGAIN, I think it's the word of the week).
I will take a year off in 2007, apart from small craft stuff for the table or similar endeavors. Plushies, things like that, all good. When I return in 2008 (after everyone's forgotten about me or decided I'm a bitch), I will set limits. Like four a year. Period. Probably first-come first-served. And no requests less than two months ahead of time.
Actually, last week I drew up a draft of a contract. I will also finalize that and start using it. This is what you need to do. This is what I need to do. NO WHINING.
The problem is that my hobbies have intersected with a way to entertain people. That comes around so infrequently for me that I did jump at it a bit. Hooray, a way to be useful! Only there's a breaking point, and I think I'll be at it around August 6. I need to assess this before I put myself through it again.
A hard-and-fast rule also gives me an out for saying no, because seriously, I don't know how to say no. I was never taught. I was taught to make people happy so that they'd like you, and that means acquiescing at every turn. But if I can say "Sorry, I've already decided, nothing in 2007 under any circumstances," I can escape.
Seriously, people, I am not that good. Let's be real here. There are dozens if not hundreds of costumers out there with more talent than I'll ever have in a lifetime. I am cheap, but that's because I'm not very good. Money is cheap. Quality is not. Save up. Really.
I feel like I should feel like a worthless bastard, but I actually feel better, which probably proves that I AM a worthless bastard. Oh well, at least it's loose and not running in crazed little circles in the back of my brain.