(no subject)
i just realized last night whenever i go to "hardcore" shows i get angry and really unbelievably pissed off and i never really figured it out. but last night i was like... "oh. i get it. i always think hc kids are like an issue of heartattack". they never are.
judge judge jugde.
it is difficult for me to figure out where i should stand.. or whatever... what i should do in those situations. when there are things and bands and people i like connected, should i not participate based on how angry it makes me? should i not care? why do i even care? it's like one of the things that makes me the most like.. tangibly angry... it's absurd really how upsetting it is. going to a rock show full of douches never upsets me. or a pop show or whatever. just these events because it's something that i am close to?
ok. whatever, i mean, i know it isn't a big deal and that punk doesn't mean much of anything in a broader scheme, and the things i should be involved in as far actually doing anything besides entertaining me isn't hc/punk... but i guess it just makes the whole thing feel a lot cheaper and ... like... pointless to me. why would i want to do see a bunch of gross dudes play with their shirts off and basically being rockers under the guise of hc when i could just go to a rock show and not feel personally insulted that the only thing i have personally experienced in "punk" is nothing but a joke? a boys club? a drunken mockery? why should i care that none of the songs are about anything? or that when they are about anything beyond rockin' no one listens? why do i still naively hope tht hc/punk could be more than any other form of entertainment? hold it up to this ideal of "something more"?
judge judge jugde.
it is difficult for me to figure out where i should stand.. or whatever... what i should do in those situations. when there are things and bands and people i like connected, should i not participate based on how angry it makes me? should i not care? why do i even care? it's like one of the things that makes me the most like.. tangibly angry... it's absurd really how upsetting it is. going to a rock show full of douches never upsets me. or a pop show or whatever. just these events because it's something that i am close to?
ok. whatever, i mean, i know it isn't a big deal and that punk doesn't mean much of anything in a broader scheme, and the things i should be involved in as far actually doing anything besides entertaining me isn't hc/punk... but i guess it just makes the whole thing feel a lot cheaper and ... like... pointless to me. why would i want to do see a bunch of gross dudes play with their shirts off and basically being rockers under the guise of hc when i could just go to a rock show and not feel personally insulted that the only thing i have personally experienced in "punk" is nothing but a joke? a boys club? a drunken mockery? why should i care that none of the songs are about anything? or that when they are about anything beyond rockin' no one listens? why do i still naively hope tht hc/punk could be more than any other form of entertainment? hold it up to this ideal of "something more"?