inasmuch

[sarahleek]

i don't even understand
the turns and spins that occur
one minute i am sure
and its secure
the next, i am holed up in my room for a day
because i am not sure what just happened
i can't make plans
i can't hold on to anything
so I just say, 'fine!'
here i am
do something then!

and nothing happens
or maybe i have messed it up so bad i don't even realize anymore
i never wanted to leave here
but i am open to leaving tomorrow
but nothing is opening up
what is your plan God, because i really give up