(no subject)
All the kids were dismissed from school at 11:15 a. m. on Friday then had Monday off for Memorial Day.
Friday, Abe left for Houghton College before 8 a. m. for the annual Orchestra Festival. He stayed overnight with his friends and practiced for Saturday's concert. It's a concert I love every year and for some reason, the weather is always beautiful on Houghton weekend.
Everything, including Houghton, is bittersweet because it will all be different next year. We hosted a young man from Japan this year and he's down to his last month here. Yuki's the best--we have not had a single bad experience with him.
After Nigel came home from Japan, he was fully focused on getting us to agree to host a Japanese student. I was hesitant and argued with Nigel: we already have 5 kids, our house isn't clean enough for a Japanese person, he'll be mean to the little kids, you and he will speak Japanese and say mean things about me, he won't like our food and we'll have to make rice 3 times/day, etc. Arguing with Nigel about something he wants is not recommended--since he was old enough to argue, he's been presenting his various cases in such a way that saying 'no' is impossible. I don't mean things like "I want ice cream for dinner" or "I want a car or a toy or an ipod"--he knows that there are valid reasons to deny him those things.
But when it's "I should be able to walk to pre-school by myself," he couldn't accept, "It's not safe for a 3 year old to walk 2 miles through traffic," because "I'll be careful!" A teacher friend once explained to him, also at 3, that he wasn't "developmentally ready" for multiplication. He did not quit until he learned it.
So, I knew I was in for it when he started talking about hosting on the way home from the airport. Many arguments followed, but his reasons were sound (he is very serious about improving relations between the US and Japan) and mine were selfish. I know I've earned the right to be selfish, especially about houseguests, but eventually I gave in-- with many contingencies about what would be expected from Nigel. 10 months later, he's more than lived up to those contingencies, and I'll always be grateful that he won the argument.
I was originally sold on hosting when Nigel found out that a friend of his would be ours--I thought it would be much better hosting someone Nigel knew already. No dice, Nigel decided he wanted his friend have the complete exchange experience which included living with a family he never knew before. By that point, we had already filled out the "I am not into human trafficking" forms and had the home inspections (stressful, but gratifying), so Nigel printed out the dossiers of 4 Japanese young men from which I could choose my new son. Nigel's preference was the one who spoke the least English, so he could benefit from Nigel's Japanese language skills. Have I not mentioned Paul in any of this? He deferred it all to me.
More later, on Yuki and our adventures with him.
Friday, Abe left for Houghton College before 8 a. m. for the annual Orchestra Festival. He stayed overnight with his friends and practiced for Saturday's concert. It's a concert I love every year and for some reason, the weather is always beautiful on Houghton weekend.
Everything, including Houghton, is bittersweet because it will all be different next year. We hosted a young man from Japan this year and he's down to his last month here. Yuki's the best--we have not had a single bad experience with him.
After Nigel came home from Japan, he was fully focused on getting us to agree to host a Japanese student. I was hesitant and argued with Nigel: we already have 5 kids, our house isn't clean enough for a Japanese person, he'll be mean to the little kids, you and he will speak Japanese and say mean things about me, he won't like our food and we'll have to make rice 3 times/day, etc. Arguing with Nigel about something he wants is not recommended--since he was old enough to argue, he's been presenting his various cases in such a way that saying 'no' is impossible. I don't mean things like "I want ice cream for dinner" or "I want a car or a toy or an ipod"--he knows that there are valid reasons to deny him those things.
But when it's "I should be able to walk to pre-school by myself," he couldn't accept, "It's not safe for a 3 year old to walk 2 miles through traffic," because "I'll be careful!" A teacher friend once explained to him, also at 3, that he wasn't "developmentally ready" for multiplication. He did not quit until he learned it.
So, I knew I was in for it when he started talking about hosting on the way home from the airport. Many arguments followed, but his reasons were sound (he is very serious about improving relations between the US and Japan) and mine were selfish. I know I've earned the right to be selfish, especially about houseguests, but eventually I gave in-- with many contingencies about what would be expected from Nigel. 10 months later, he's more than lived up to those contingencies, and I'll always be grateful that he won the argument.
I was originally sold on hosting when Nigel found out that a friend of his would be ours--I thought it would be much better hosting someone Nigel knew already. No dice, Nigel decided he wanted his friend have the complete exchange experience which included living with a family he never knew before. By that point, we had already filled out the "I am not into human trafficking" forms and had the home inspections (stressful, but gratifying), so Nigel printed out the dossiers of 4 Japanese young men from which I could choose my new son. Nigel's preference was the one who spoke the least English, so he could benefit from Nigel's Japanese language skills. Have I not mentioned Paul in any of this? He deferred it all to me.
More later, on Yuki and our adventures with him.