No Babies!
I'm virtually sterile, and my arm hurts.
While getting treated for that mysterious medical thing, which I swear I'll write up sometime, I ended up having long conversations about birth control with my doc. Namely that I know I don't want to have children any time soon, at all. She paused and asked if I had considered long term birth control. I had not, and long story short, I decided to get Implanon It is as effective as being sterile, and when and if I ever choose to parent, its totally reversible. I had to pee in a cup, sign my life away, and then get the equivlent of a large shot. My arm is sore, and I do not have to take any pills, for the next 3 years. Which is so SO STRANGE after taking a pill every day for 6.5 years. I have not been able to throw away my last pack of pills, it just seems so wrong. And I can't get pregnant, and I'm thrilled! Mind you, its not like I'm having that much sex anyway, but its not going to be an issue, no matter what I am or am not having. As I told my doc, it stresses me out to make birth control decision when its a relevant issue. I'm like a safe sex girl-scout (or is it boyscout?) BE PREPARED! But I had this weird moment between scheduling my procedure and the actual appointment. I found myself grieving the fact that I am not living the life that I thought I would. I thought I would be married by 25, 26 at the latest, and starting a family soon after. And, I'm not married, and I certainly don't want to start a family. I know that the choices I have made have been for the best. (Nothing personal about my ex's who read this) but I have yet to meet someone with whom I would want to breed. I'm liking my life more than I ever expected to, because of the unexpected path that I am on. But, apparently, there is some residual sadness. I was sad I'm not a parent, I was sad I'm not going to be a parent, and I was sad that I'm not working my way towards that house with the yard, with the picket fence. I'm sad for the road not taken. I spent the week sad for the things I do not, and will not have, and then driving to the appointment I got nervous, and by the time I got back to the procedure room I was just excited.
Implantation itself was very very easy. A shot of local anesthetic was the most painful part, and it wasn't all that bad, it was just a shot, and it was followed by a bit bigger but totally painless shot. I bleed a little, but then, I'm a bleeder, its what I do. The doctor gave me a large gauze pad and said leave it alone for 24 hours. The pad was so ridiculously over-sized my arm looked like popeye the sailor after a can of spinach, and I asked if it was really necessary for a small amount of blood, and she laughed and said not really but to be safe leave it. I went shopping immediately afterward, which turned out to maybe not be a good idea, what with the reaching and the carrying and the wiggling and the trying things on. The gauze totally slipped out of place, and as I discovered later, the light cool sharpness I felt was the puncture opening and bleeding a bit more. After the 24 hours I got a good look at it, and it was a bit more gruesome than I had imagined with the dried caked on blood everywhere, and the mild bruising (I'm a peach, I bruise if you look at me sharply) and the extremely extremely mild swelling. It felt a bit like I had gotten a shot, lightly tender, but more superficial than most shots I've gotten, literally only skin deep. I had some odd tingling in my thumb that had me convinced something had gone horribly wrong and I was going to have to have my arm amputated. But it only lasted a short while and it could have been that I was laying on my arm funny and cut off circulation. Possibly. And today the swelling is gone, the bruising is mostly gone, and the shot-ache is gone. It is a little tender when I jab at it hard. (You know that old doctor joke? 'Doctor Doctor, it hurts when I do this what should I do??' 'Don't do this! ') I feel fine, I just have to keep the bloody tape on for another 24 hours. I can feel it in my arm, and its like a vein just under the surface of the skin. I'm excited to take off the tape tomorrow, get it clean up, and really see what its going to be all about. And then I am going to forget about it for the next 3 years!
Edited: Its feeling totally fine today, and I took off the tape and had a good long look at it. Its still slightly bruised, but otherwise looks healed and I've been having so much fun poking it today. Look! Look! There's a thing-y in my arm!
While getting treated for that mysterious medical thing, which I swear I'll write up sometime, I ended up having long conversations about birth control with my doc. Namely that I know I don't want to have children any time soon, at all. She paused and asked if I had considered long term birth control. I had not, and long story short, I decided to get Implanon It is as effective as being sterile, and when and if I ever choose to parent, its totally reversible. I had to pee in a cup, sign my life away, and then get the equivlent of a large shot. My arm is sore, and I do not have to take any pills, for the next 3 years. Which is so SO STRANGE after taking a pill every day for 6.5 years. I have not been able to throw away my last pack of pills, it just seems so wrong. And I can't get pregnant, and I'm thrilled! Mind you, its not like I'm having that much sex anyway, but its not going to be an issue, no matter what I am or am not having. As I told my doc, it stresses me out to make birth control decision when its a relevant issue. I'm like a safe sex girl-scout (or is it boyscout?) BE PREPARED! But I had this weird moment between scheduling my procedure and the actual appointment. I found myself grieving the fact that I am not living the life that I thought I would. I thought I would be married by 25, 26 at the latest, and starting a family soon after. And, I'm not married, and I certainly don't want to start a family. I know that the choices I have made have been for the best. (Nothing personal about my ex's who read this) but I have yet to meet someone with whom I would want to breed. I'm liking my life more than I ever expected to, because of the unexpected path that I am on. But, apparently, there is some residual sadness. I was sad I'm not a parent, I was sad I'm not going to be a parent, and I was sad that I'm not working my way towards that house with the yard, with the picket fence. I'm sad for the road not taken. I spent the week sad for the things I do not, and will not have, and then driving to the appointment I got nervous, and by the time I got back to the procedure room I was just excited.
Implantation itself was very very easy. A shot of local anesthetic was the most painful part, and it wasn't all that bad, it was just a shot, and it was followed by a bit bigger but totally painless shot. I bleed a little, but then, I'm a bleeder, its what I do. The doctor gave me a large gauze pad and said leave it alone for 24 hours. The pad was so ridiculously over-sized my arm looked like popeye the sailor after a can of spinach, and I asked if it was really necessary for a small amount of blood, and she laughed and said not really but to be safe leave it. I went shopping immediately afterward, which turned out to maybe not be a good idea, what with the reaching and the carrying and the wiggling and the trying things on. The gauze totally slipped out of place, and as I discovered later, the light cool sharpness I felt was the puncture opening and bleeding a bit more. After the 24 hours I got a good look at it, and it was a bit more gruesome than I had imagined with the dried caked on blood everywhere, and the mild bruising (I'm a peach, I bruise if you look at me sharply) and the extremely extremely mild swelling. It felt a bit like I had gotten a shot, lightly tender, but more superficial than most shots I've gotten, literally only skin deep. I had some odd tingling in my thumb that had me convinced something had gone horribly wrong and I was going to have to have my arm amputated. But it only lasted a short while and it could have been that I was laying on my arm funny and cut off circulation. Possibly. And today the swelling is gone, the bruising is mostly gone, and the shot-ache is gone. It is a little tender when I jab at it hard. (You know that old doctor joke? 'Doctor Doctor, it hurts when I do this what should I do??' 'Don't do this! ') I feel fine, I just have to keep the bloody tape on for another 24 hours. I can feel it in my arm, and its like a vein just under the surface of the skin. I'm excited to take off the tape tomorrow, get it clean up, and really see what its going to be all about. And then I am going to forget about it for the next 3 years!
Edited: Its feeling totally fine today, and I took off the tape and had a good long look at it. Its still slightly bruised, but otherwise looks healed and I've been having so much fun poking it today. Look! Look! There's a thing-y in my arm!