"everyone knows i'm in over my head"
this week was overloaded. i literally broke down a couple of times, and now...i'm actually feeling like this coming week might just be bad because i have no motivation for it to be otherwise. i need motivation for beauty and happiness, but things just aren't that great.
so yeah...this past week i got yelled at by one of my professors for going to the restroom during a test without asking. who knew you had to ask? she actually took my test up and when i came back she told me she thought i was done taking it since i had left the room without asking. what a joke.
then i found out that one of my best friends has been lying to me. not hiding...lying. being lied to isn't fun. especially by someone who is supposed to know that you would understand anything. i can't comprehend the reasoning. but the lying has been going on for oh...let's see....about 2 years. nice feeling.
i also found out i have to take summer school. it has to either be this summer or next. i don't know what to do.
i can't handle anything anymore. i need sanity. i'm not even really overwhelmed...i'm just not satisfied with life. i'm scared and sad and lonely and tired.
i want to drive for miles and miles and cry until my eyes won't release water anymore.
i want to sing at the top of my lungs and scream and yell until my voice won't work.
i want to hide from the world and not have anyone ask me why or how or when or where.
and i need to figure a lot of stuff out.
so yeah...this past week i got yelled at by one of my professors for going to the restroom during a test without asking. who knew you had to ask? she actually took my test up and when i came back she told me she thought i was done taking it since i had left the room without asking. what a joke.
then i found out that one of my best friends has been lying to me. not hiding...lying. being lied to isn't fun. especially by someone who is supposed to know that you would understand anything. i can't comprehend the reasoning. but the lying has been going on for oh...let's see....about 2 years. nice feeling.
i also found out i have to take summer school. it has to either be this summer or next. i don't know what to do.
i can't handle anything anymore. i need sanity. i'm not even really overwhelmed...i'm just not satisfied with life. i'm scared and sad and lonely and tired.
i want to drive for miles and miles and cry until my eyes won't release water anymore.
i want to sing at the top of my lungs and scream and yell until my voice won't work.
i want to hide from the world and not have anyone ask me why or how or when or where.
and i need to figure a lot of stuff out.