Second-hand grief
I generally am pretty talkative, but there is one circumstance I've dealt with multiple times in the last week in which I just don't feel like I know what to say. First, after our conductor died, I talked to Andrew about how close they were, and how hard it was for him. Then, on Wednesday night, Lee called me with perhaps the worst day any of my friends has ever had to talk to me about: in one day he had heard about three deaths or acute hospitalizations among his friends and family. I always welcome my friends to talk about whatever they need to, and truly am happy to help in any way possible, but sometimes I just feel so helpless. I can't share in the grief, because I barely knew the people, if at all. I can't make the situation better, because only time will ease the pain. I feel like whatever I do, it's not enough; I can't even provide the support of physical contact (hugs, etc.) because either I don't know the person well enough, or am too far away. With Lee I ended up talking about other things, which he said helped get his mind off things for a little while, but I'm always afraid of the loss being cheapened if I ignore it that way. Then again, most people would want us to move on and enjoy life after they are gone. But then, it's important to remember them, too... it's a vicious circle. How does one break out of it?