seven
As I sat in the surgery prep room this morning waiting to be rolled in for sinus surgery, i decided to take a moment to reflect on my life. I don't pray but I do reflect, and remember and cherish memories and all that cheesy stuff. I realized that I had never been nervous before a surgery before, and that maybe part of that reason was because I had never been able to think of something or some things that were really worth living for. Of course I love my family, and I want and always wanted to wake up afterwards, in their presence and realize that I was safe and healthy again. But this time was different.
I thought about everyone that I cared about, everyone that (hopefully) cared about me, and everything that I wanted to do as soon as surgery was over. I knew going in this time, that things were different. I was far more sick than I had ever been, and I knew the risks were higher. I knew that if I didn't wake up, I'd be leaving too much behind.
Then I thought of Rob, and of how much I wished he could've been there today. I wanted him to hold me and love me so badly that I suddenly got a small lump in my throat. I missed him terribly, and when and if I woke up, I wanted him to be there more than anything, and I knew he couldn't be.
I suddenly thought of everything that led me right to him. It seemed our relationship passed right before my eyes. Everything in my life happened for a reason, I know it did. Im into the idea of fate and destiny, I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but I just know that everything had to happen the exact way that it did or I wouldn't have everything in my life that I have right now.
If I had never had sinus surgery the first time, I'd probably be dead now, or horribly deformed. If I had never gone to the haunted house in virginia beach the first weekend I moved there, I wouldn't have herman...dont ask...if I had never joined swim team in naples, I would've never met parker (robert) and had my first real relationship, if I had never moved to illinois then I never would've met any of you, if I had never done into the woods I never would've met rob, if I never replied to that silly myspace email he sent me, we may have never fallen in love, and if we had never fallen in love I would've had a very lonely life.
the number seven represents a lot of different things in my life. i cant categorize it any better way than that. "things" really sums it up.
Seven was how old I was when I had my first sinus surgery.
Seven, is the amount of months my first real relationship lasted.
Seven, was how old I was when I pulled Herman out of that claw grabbing machine.
Seventh grade was one of the most challenging and rewarding years of my life.
Seven is the amount of times I've thrown up in my life.
Seven is the amount of times I will have ever had surgery by the end of 2009.
Seven was how many months rob and I were together before I moved to Hawaii.
Seven moves was how long it took for me to realize that love was the most powerful emotion in the world, and that it really did conquer all.
Seven was how many times Rob and I visited eachother between the summer of 2007 and 2008 in total (not counting trips to vandercook these days).
Seven is the amount of high school dances Rob and I will have been to by the time I finish high school.
Seven is how many minutes it took you=] to get to my house when I lived in Savoy.
Seven is the number you=] are on my speed dial, mostly because of the last seven.
Seven is the amount of college auditions Ill be taking.
Seven minutes is how long you need to "calm yourself back down" =]
Seven years is how long we'll have to wait until we're both completely done with college, and I'm willing to wait as long as you are.
And seven is the amount of letters there are in Sara and Rob combined.
I love you Rob, family and friends. I don't know why I'm so sentimental and sappy right now, probably a combination of drugs and PMS but at least its making me nice. haha
I'm glad that everything has happened for a reason. And I'm glad that I was able to come to appreciate that even if it was right before I was put into a temporary coma.
I think I know what kind of tattoo I'd like to get now =]
love.
I thought about everyone that I cared about, everyone that (hopefully) cared about me, and everything that I wanted to do as soon as surgery was over. I knew going in this time, that things were different. I was far more sick than I had ever been, and I knew the risks were higher. I knew that if I didn't wake up, I'd be leaving too much behind.
Then I thought of Rob, and of how much I wished he could've been there today. I wanted him to hold me and love me so badly that I suddenly got a small lump in my throat. I missed him terribly, and when and if I woke up, I wanted him to be there more than anything, and I knew he couldn't be.
I suddenly thought of everything that led me right to him. It seemed our relationship passed right before my eyes. Everything in my life happened for a reason, I know it did. Im into the idea of fate and destiny, I'm not a religious or spiritual person, but I just know that everything had to happen the exact way that it did or I wouldn't have everything in my life that I have right now.
If I had never had sinus surgery the first time, I'd probably be dead now, or horribly deformed. If I had never gone to the haunted house in virginia beach the first weekend I moved there, I wouldn't have herman...dont ask...if I had never joined swim team in naples, I would've never met parker (robert) and had my first real relationship, if I had never moved to illinois then I never would've met any of you, if I had never done into the woods I never would've met rob, if I never replied to that silly myspace email he sent me, we may have never fallen in love, and if we had never fallen in love I would've had a very lonely life.
the number seven represents a lot of different things in my life. i cant categorize it any better way than that. "things" really sums it up.
Seven was how old I was when I had my first sinus surgery.
Seven, is the amount of months my first real relationship lasted.
Seven, was how old I was when I pulled Herman out of that claw grabbing machine.
Seventh grade was one of the most challenging and rewarding years of my life.
Seven is the amount of times I've thrown up in my life.
Seven is the amount of times I will have ever had surgery by the end of 2009.
Seven was how many months rob and I were together before I moved to Hawaii.
Seven moves was how long it took for me to realize that love was the most powerful emotion in the world, and that it really did conquer all.
Seven was how many times Rob and I visited eachother between the summer of 2007 and 2008 in total (not counting trips to vandercook these days).
Seven is the amount of high school dances Rob and I will have been to by the time I finish high school.
Seven is how many minutes it took you=] to get to my house when I lived in Savoy.
Seven is the number you=] are on my speed dial, mostly because of the last seven.
Seven is the amount of college auditions Ill be taking.
Seven minutes is how long you need to "calm yourself back down" =]
Seven years is how long we'll have to wait until we're both completely done with college, and I'm willing to wait as long as you are.
And seven is the amount of letters there are in Sara and Rob combined.
I love you Rob, family and friends. I don't know why I'm so sentimental and sappy right now, probably a combination of drugs and PMS but at least its making me nice. haha
I'm glad that everything has happened for a reason. And I'm glad that I was able to come to appreciate that even if it was right before I was put into a temporary coma.
I think I know what kind of tattoo I'd like to get now =]
love.