i cant sleep
im ecstatic over the fact that i get to be miss prism. i think earnest will be quite fun. i like everyone in it. the end
im scared for college auditions. i keep dreaming that im going in to audition and i have no idea what im singing, like im not ready, haven't prepared anything. its horrifying. i cant sleep anymore. the anxiety is killing me.
im tired of being sick, but im excited for surgery. im getting all this goo sucked out of my face on tuesday and it will be magical. i love surgery, its fantastic.
im just worried about missing rehearsals for earnest and then being too post-surgery-fucked-up to have a good audition for les mis. what if something goes wrong and it takes me longer than usual to recover? thats a scary thought. but nothing has gone wrong before so im staying optimistic.
i got really sick the other day. i woke up to the start of my period. yay! im glad i didn't bleed all over rob. that would've been icky. at first the cramps weren't that bad then suddenly they became excruciating. i desperately searched for some fucking midol but couldn't find it for about an hour, thus allowing the cramps to worsen. fuck. i proceeded to feel really sick and almost vomit. my body was retching from both ends, but the only end that yielded anything was my ass, fortunately. this violent heaving and cramping went on for about three hours until my mom found me moaning in the bathroom. joy. i proceeded to pace back in forth in the hallway waiting for the fucking midol to kick in and it never did. that little bitch.
so we called the doctor, and they told me to come in immediately just in case it was an ectopic pregnancy or something. my mom thought it was endromitriosis. that would blow. i'd actually like to have kids someday, thankyouverymuch.
well...after a series of shots and lab work, and my embarrassing oozing. i refuse to cry, i simply ooze, the doctors determined that it was probably a ruptured ovarian sist and that i needed to be put on special period pills. woo!
so i went home and passed out, cause thats what the drugs were supposed to do. i woke up all bitchy and thirsty. also fantastic. now i have these pills to take the day before i start every period. i never keep track of my cycle so im kinda pissed. cause now i have to put it into my calendar. YES!
anyway, that snow day sucked. i layed on my couch all day and wanted to kill myself. then on friday i watched vanilla sky with rob and went shopping with margot. i got a bitchy ass phone call from the music admission director from north texas, accidentally missed a voice lesson, dealt with asshole cashiers at forever21, and almost got caught accidentally shoplifting. dont even ask. so friday was no better. aside from vanilla sky. that was perfect.
now im listening to sleep by azure ray and fix you by coldplay over and over again. i cant get tired of these songs.
im ready for college. im ready to get as far away as possible. i miss europe. i miss seeing the world. i love home. but i miss my life. im so ready, just take me now please.
im scared for college auditions. i keep dreaming that im going in to audition and i have no idea what im singing, like im not ready, haven't prepared anything. its horrifying. i cant sleep anymore. the anxiety is killing me.
im tired of being sick, but im excited for surgery. im getting all this goo sucked out of my face on tuesday and it will be magical. i love surgery, its fantastic.
im just worried about missing rehearsals for earnest and then being too post-surgery-fucked-up to have a good audition for les mis. what if something goes wrong and it takes me longer than usual to recover? thats a scary thought. but nothing has gone wrong before so im staying optimistic.
i got really sick the other day. i woke up to the start of my period. yay! im glad i didn't bleed all over rob. that would've been icky. at first the cramps weren't that bad then suddenly they became excruciating. i desperately searched for some fucking midol but couldn't find it for about an hour, thus allowing the cramps to worsen. fuck. i proceeded to feel really sick and almost vomit. my body was retching from both ends, but the only end that yielded anything was my ass, fortunately. this violent heaving and cramping went on for about three hours until my mom found me moaning in the bathroom. joy. i proceeded to pace back in forth in the hallway waiting for the fucking midol to kick in and it never did. that little bitch.
so we called the doctor, and they told me to come in immediately just in case it was an ectopic pregnancy or something. my mom thought it was endromitriosis. that would blow. i'd actually like to have kids someday, thankyouverymuch.
well...after a series of shots and lab work, and my embarrassing oozing. i refuse to cry, i simply ooze, the doctors determined that it was probably a ruptured ovarian sist and that i needed to be put on special period pills. woo!
so i went home and passed out, cause thats what the drugs were supposed to do. i woke up all bitchy and thirsty. also fantastic. now i have these pills to take the day before i start every period. i never keep track of my cycle so im kinda pissed. cause now i have to put it into my calendar. YES!
anyway, that snow day sucked. i layed on my couch all day and wanted to kill myself. then on friday i watched vanilla sky with rob and went shopping with margot. i got a bitchy ass phone call from the music admission director from north texas, accidentally missed a voice lesson, dealt with asshole cashiers at forever21, and almost got caught accidentally shoplifting. dont even ask. so friday was no better. aside from vanilla sky. that was perfect.
now im listening to sleep by azure ray and fix you by coldplay over and over again. i cant get tired of these songs.
im ready for college. im ready to get as far away as possible. i miss europe. i miss seeing the world. i love home. but i miss my life. im so ready, just take me now please.