we were only freshmen.
"Given a long enough time, of course, a wide enough frame, there is nothing said or done, ever, that isn't ironic at the end."
I ate two actual meals in the last two days now! I probably ate more than I should during one of them, but at least I ate and enjoyed it. WANTED to eat.
Today feels like it will be a good day. I'm still sick, and wasn't able to go to my friend's party yesterday (which I was very nervous about attending anyway...) but I feel a bit better today. I'm on antibiotics, something for cough, something for congestion. Plus, I'm not at work today, which helps. The second I leave the house, I seem to feel worse. Concentrating too much? Hmph. Every time I lean over to pick something up my head feels stabbed. But I still feel good, emotionally, today. It's a nice feeling. I read in a book once about trying to remember what makes these days so nice, what makes you so happy, so you can remember it on the days you aren't so happy, when you're low. In the book, it didn't work. It doesn't work period. Sometimes it actually does the opposite of what I would expect. On those days you try to remember what was so different about the good days, the light days, there's really nothing there to see. It's illusive. It's untouchable. But I have it with me today. I feel like I could reach out and touch it but wouldn't try because I know better. Just let it be. Enjoy it.