Well, here's a funny thing, is... you, I would trust to respond in a reasonable manner. But that does not apply to every person out there. Not every person I deal with on a day to day basis has Earthscorch sensibilities.
And, well... as for how I want people to treat me, the truth is, while I'm not proud of it, I have a bad temper. And I KNOW I have a bad temper. And I try NOT to have a bad temper, but a lifetime of being who I am has not made it go away.
Now, because I have a bad temper, there are people who are unwilling to go directly to me with problems they have with me. And you know, when I catch wind of it, it is startling. I like to think of myself as a reasonable person. But then I take a step back and look at my behavior and I think, "You know, I don't always respond to situations as a reasonable person should." And while it doesn't please me, I can understand why not everyone who has problems with me would be willing to take them directly to me. I don't want to get angry, I don't want to lash out, but sometimes I do.
Because I can understand why not everyone who has problems with me would be willing to take them to me, I forgive the people for doing so. And because that's how I deal with it... "I'm angry, I'm angry. Okay, I'm done and over it, let's move on," that's what I want most out of other people, the ability to get over it and move on.
I know how hurtful things can be. We all give to those who are dearest to us the ability to hurt us the most. And at some point or another, more often unintentionally than not, those people will use that power we've given them. Our choices after that are to take the power away, and so close others off, or accept that it happened, and learn that to have the good portions of being close to other human beings, we have to put up with the bad portions.
So. I don't want my loved ones to hurt me, but I know they will. I don't want to hurt my loved ones, but I know I will. What I want the most, knowing that it is going to happen, is forgiveness once the dust has settled.
When I make a post like that last one toward you I choose my words carefully, because I know you have a bad temper, and if I set it off, things could go ugly. :) But sometimes I feel I have to say something you might now want to hear. It always shocked me how fast you got over your anger. Like that time I was being nasty on public and was on a roll, so I missed you asking me to stop. I felt bad all night, but after you calmed down, you were like, 'Okay, whatever. It's in the past.' That seems pretty consistant with my experience with you. I'm almost impossible to offend, but if you do, I my forgive, but I never forget.
But basically I don't want to hurt your feelings, 'cause I like you a lot, so if I feel I have to talk to you, it scares the crap out of me! Not that it's come up too much. But anyways, I think we understand each others positions here, and more or less agree, really, though our positions may seem apposed. *hugs* :)
Jamming's Comment:sapphirebreezeJanuary 4 2007, 16:49:16 UTC
...and in that instant there began a HUGS RACE as both sides developed Counter-HUGS, Counter-Counter-HUGS, Stealth HUGS, Independently Target-able Group HUGS, the HUG Defensive System, leading finally to the Doomsday HUG.
And, well... as for how I want people to treat me, the truth is, while I'm not proud of it, I have a bad temper. And I KNOW I have a bad temper. And I try NOT to have a bad temper, but a lifetime of being who I am has not made it go away.
Now, because I have a bad temper, there are people who are unwilling to go directly to me with problems they have with me. And you know, when I catch wind of it, it is startling. I like to think of myself as a reasonable person. But then I take a step back and look at my behavior and I think, "You know, I don't always respond to situations as a reasonable person should." And while it doesn't please me, I can understand why not everyone who has problems with me would be willing to take them directly to me. I don't want to get angry, I don't want to lash out, but sometimes I do.
Because I can understand why not everyone who has problems with me would be willing to take them to me, I forgive the people for doing so. And because that's how I deal with it... "I'm angry, I'm angry. Okay, I'm done and over it, let's move on," that's what I want most out of other people, the ability to get over it and move on.
I know how hurtful things can be. We all give to those who are dearest to us the ability to hurt us the most. And at some point or another, more often unintentionally than not, those people will use that power we've given them. Our choices after that are to take the power away, and so close others off, or accept that it happened, and learn that to have the good portions of being close to other human beings, we have to put up with the bad portions.
So. I don't want my loved ones to hurt me, but I know they will. I don't want to hurt my loved ones, but I know I will. What I want the most, knowing that it is going to happen, is forgiveness once the dust has settled.
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But basically I don't want to hurt your feelings, 'cause I like you a lot, so if I feel I have to talk to you, it scares the crap out of me! Not that it's come up too much. But anyways, I think we understand each others positions here, and more or less agree, really, though our positions may seem apposed. *hugs* :)
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;-)
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