1st Entry
Today, I realized that I still have feelings for my ex. See, I never realized I was in love with him until the end of our relationship. 4 years on and off, now me thinking it was'nt serious, just looked upon it like, he's mine, I'm his, that's how it's gonna be for however long we could stand each other. Then, during the 3rd year, things got more serious. We was'nt together, but we did things and still had feelings. The final year, we got back together, and it felt so good. But, then he tensed up, and split again, this time it looks permanent. I miss J so damn much but at the same time, I'm wondering if he is just too weak of a man to be with me. I've been in love once before, but this hurts like hell. I mean my first love faded in a sense, and I know that relationship is over and done with. Moving on is hell....it's been 3 months and I still want to break down and cry.
J, mi amour always.
J, mi amour always.