Bored...and a lil' too much wine
Sometimes I need a place to sit back, and think about what the fuck is going on. A place most people call home. I guess I don't have one of those. I mean, I live in a house, but it's not my home. You know what I mean, don't you? Where you just can't find that feeling you had a long time ago. That feeling when you were younger and, without even realizing it, you felt safe. I don't have that anymore. Maybe nobody does?
I can, however, honestly say, I feel drunk. Four glasses of wine later and that's sort of what happens. I'm glad though. I have things floating around in my head that I sort of just forget to somehow let out, until it begins to do that thing where it keeps you up all night. Wine gets it out, then puts me to sleep. I suppose that works.
I just had an epiphany! I can do nothing! Well, I can do some stuff, but nothing well. Don't you absolutely hate those people who can do everything, and then you have to be near them for whatever reason, and then they just start pissing you off? See, I'm getting married in March of 2010....YES! Fifteen months. YES! That's a long time from now....whatever. See, the man I am marrying is great, wonderful, perfect if you will. His sister is one of those people that does everything, and does everything oh so gloriously! Well, fuck. She just has to shove it all over my face so that, I, who can do nothing, will continue my useless existence knowing that there is always someone who can do EVERYTHING you always wished you could do, and do it with few faults. I think I need some more wine.
See me playing pool. I am playing with my husband to be, and his oh so perfect sister. My future father n law has just given us our very own pool sticks, a choice we made out of four options. These aren't any pool sticks. They were custom made from the Philippians. Oh....okay, I pick the one I want. I know which is the better stick. But is it the better stick? No, the better stick is actually chosen by my later than sooner to be sister n law, and she has cleverly found several ways to let me know of my ill decision. But wait! It is not supposed to be taken as mean...but rather as friendly banter between unrelated sisters....Sounds like a load of heavy, smelly crap was just loaded on my back and somehow it's supposed to make me smell better.
"Oh here my friend! Have some of what I have dished up for you because it's actually going to be GOOD for you! " Believe me friends, nothing that is offered in this entire world is good for me. Rather, it has been designed to destroy me. Yes, that includes your demeaning words and heartfelt deceit.
I think it's time for some more wine.
Even in a crowd it gets lonely. I don't know you. You don't know me. How is this supposed to be comfortable? It's like wearing skinny jeans. I mean please, they always make you look short and chunky.
But you know, it's not always a crowd of unfamiliar faces that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes the ones that make you the most uncomfortable are the familiar ones. No?
Well, this will have to end all cognitive thought processes for tonight because I just had too much wine and I feel that I should probably go to bed. Eh...I won't remember this tomorrow.
I can, however, honestly say, I feel drunk. Four glasses of wine later and that's sort of what happens. I'm glad though. I have things floating around in my head that I sort of just forget to somehow let out, until it begins to do that thing where it keeps you up all night. Wine gets it out, then puts me to sleep. I suppose that works.
I just had an epiphany! I can do nothing! Well, I can do some stuff, but nothing well. Don't you absolutely hate those people who can do everything, and then you have to be near them for whatever reason, and then they just start pissing you off? See, I'm getting married in March of 2010....YES! Fifteen months. YES! That's a long time from now....whatever. See, the man I am marrying is great, wonderful, perfect if you will. His sister is one of those people that does everything, and does everything oh so gloriously! Well, fuck. She just has to shove it all over my face so that, I, who can do nothing, will continue my useless existence knowing that there is always someone who can do EVERYTHING you always wished you could do, and do it with few faults. I think I need some more wine.
See me playing pool. I am playing with my husband to be, and his oh so perfect sister. My future father n law has just given us our very own pool sticks, a choice we made out of four options. These aren't any pool sticks. They were custom made from the Philippians. Oh....okay, I pick the one I want. I know which is the better stick. But is it the better stick? No, the better stick is actually chosen by my later than sooner to be sister n law, and she has cleverly found several ways to let me know of my ill decision. But wait! It is not supposed to be taken as mean...but rather as friendly banter between unrelated sisters....Sounds like a load of heavy, smelly crap was just loaded on my back and somehow it's supposed to make me smell better.
"Oh here my friend! Have some of what I have dished up for you because it's actually going to be GOOD for you! " Believe me friends, nothing that is offered in this entire world is good for me. Rather, it has been designed to destroy me. Yes, that includes your demeaning words and heartfelt deceit.
I think it's time for some more wine.
Even in a crowd it gets lonely. I don't know you. You don't know me. How is this supposed to be comfortable? It's like wearing skinny jeans. I mean please, they always make you look short and chunky.
But you know, it's not always a crowd of unfamiliar faces that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes the ones that make you the most uncomfortable are the familiar ones. No?
Well, this will have to end all cognitive thought processes for tonight because I just had too much wine and I feel that I should probably go to bed. Eh...I won't remember this tomorrow.