It's important to be aware of your own abilities and confident in what you can do. Underestimating yourself can hold you back. I also think it's important not to be baselessly arrogant and overestimate your abilities, closing yourself off to the possibility that you could ever be wrong. Confidence is good, and so is humility. If this issue is going to be cast as a "male-versus-female" thing, it seems like we should be saying that we should all strive to be realistic, confident, and humble, rather than that all females should strive to adopt stereotypical "male" attitudes. Being able to admit you are wrong and listen to other viewpoints is also a strength.
These are just my thoughts after reading that piece (most of which -- the techy parts -- I didn't understand!). I don't mean to imply that the author said females need to strive to be more "male."
I've seen many people argue that women need to adopt more "masculine" behaviors in order to succeed (e.g. competitiveness, aggression, etc.), which always gets on my nerves because a)it's a form of victim-blaming that deflects accountability from the power structures that develop and reenforce the inequalities, and b) because having "success" depend upon such anti-social qualities is a bad thing that needs to be changed to something pro-social. I didn't get that sense from this particular article, though
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I didn't get that sense from this particular article, though.
I didn't either -- I was just kind of riffing on some issues that the article made me think of.
it's nice to hear someone say that it's okay if I overestimate my competence a little bit. Without that freedom, I'm too afraid of crossing the line to ever actually have any idea where it is.
Yeah, I hadn't thought about it that way before. It's really interesting. I think in the past, especially when writing research papers for a class or writing about complicated topics for a blog, I have probably overestimated my abilities at certain points. This leads to huge anxiety as I am immersed in the project, already committed to it, but experiencing the sinking "holy shit i bit off way more than i can chew!" feeling. In the end, though, I think I've always come out of those situations better off. It's good to rise to a challenge and improve my abilities in the process.
It's good to rise to a challenge and improve my abilities in the process.
I really like the way you phrased this. I have to keep reminding myself that the only way to grow is to reach a little beyond what I can comfortably do.
Oh, and I meant to give some examples that I've seen just this week:
I also noticed that I had a really hard time responding to him saying nice things about me; it was almost painful. There was just a part of my brain going, "Please don't think I'm so great... I'm going to disappoint you." (source
"Wow, is that a new dress?" "No, it's an old dress. I just [long list of alterations which essentially made it a completely different garment from the original], that's all." - overheard
Damn, I had another one that I lost. It was about how everything was fine (I think she was in a male-dominated job), until she made her first mistake. She was being held (and holding herself) to an impossible standard...perfection.
Oh, yeah! I forgot about the original one that made me start collecting them:My editor called me today and told me that she holds me up as an example of terrifyingly efficient time-management, and I tried to explain that it was nothing of the sort, but if you do a comic for seven years, you learn to draw fast, goddamnit, and they’re very short books, and then I realized that I was trying to bludgeon the compliment to death rather than let it eat me, so I stopped and said “Thank you.” (I am not actually that fast a writer, but the one skillset I learned in life was not dithering. I can let a sentence go as a good and serviceable sentence without requiring it to wear a little saddle and win the Kentucky Derby. Books, in my world, are made primarily of good and serviceable sentences, surrounding a few polished jewels of prose-if you insist on polishing every single one, I suspect you get a book that appears to have been Bedazzled, or possibly Vajazzled if you’re writing that kind of book, and the glare becomes blinding, to say nothing
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These are just my thoughts after reading that piece (most of which -- the techy parts -- I didn't understand!). I don't mean to imply that the author said females need to strive to be more "male."
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I didn't either -- I was just kind of riffing on some issues that the article made me think of.
it's nice to hear someone say that it's okay if I overestimate my competence a little bit. Without that freedom, I'm too afraid of crossing the line to ever actually have any idea where it is.
Yeah, I hadn't thought about it that way before. It's really interesting. I think in the past, especially when writing research papers for a class or writing about complicated topics for a blog, I have probably overestimated my abilities at certain points. This leads to huge anxiety as I am immersed in the project, already committed to it, but experiencing the sinking "holy shit i bit off way more than i can chew!" feeling. In the end, though, I think I've always come out of those situations better off. It's good to rise to a challenge and improve my abilities in the process.
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I really like the way you phrased this. I have to keep reminding myself that the only way to grow is to reach a little beyond what I can comfortably do.
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I also noticed that I had a really hard time responding to him saying nice things about me; it was almost painful. There was just a part of my brain going, "Please don't think I'm so great... I'm going to disappoint you." (source
"Wow, is that a new dress?"
"No, it's an old dress. I just [long list of alterations which essentially made it a completely different garment from the original], that's all."
- overheard
Damn, I had another one that I lost. It was about how everything was fine (I think she was in a male-dominated job), until she made her first mistake. She was being held (and holding herself) to an impossible standard...perfection.
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